It seems that the older I get, the more regrets I have.

A friend of mine, many years ago told me something that I never forgot.

His mother had just died. He was in his late fifties at the time and it hit him very hard. But he told me that the shock made him realize life was finite in a way he never considered before and that he would be the next one to die. He was not being morbid, he had an extreme epiphany and he wanted me to know that I would too at some point. Someday I would realize it is all over. He hoped I would have that awakening soon enough to make changes in my life. But I didn’t. He did, but he had money. That does help things quite a bit.

At the time, I did not understand what he felt. My own Mother died many years later, but I did not have that emotional realization he talked about.

It came much later when I had to return to work after two years of being retired. Doing that made me lose hope, and that tweaked something in my soul.

It was a slow realization that this is it. There is not much future left, and there is nothing I can do to make a life now. As they say, too soon old, too late smart. I just wasn’t paying attention I guess.

Now I have a lot of regrets.