I tend to go through phases of this, where I am intensely worried about stuff and then, what was I so upset about?

Like most people I suppose, I live a life of quiet desperation, keeping my worries to myself and being a mole, burying it underground so no one can see.

Sharing misery with others does not help the situation anyways. They’ll tell you you are worrying for nothing, or your fears are inflated. All the while, they have some deep seated fears, perhaps even the same fears they are being moles about.

The only cure for worry, like most things, is action. Not distraction necessarily, but confronting your fears head on.

What works for me is planning, though I hate planning or scheduling in near nauseating proportions.

If I have a clear idea what the problem is, then I can look for solutions, and several different plans to tackle it. If the thing I worry about comes to pass, I can put those initiatives into action.

Sometimes we don’t know what the problem is; we have a health issue but no diagnosis, we have a financial problem but we don’t know where the money is going, we have a relationship problem but don’t know why. So first the problem needs clarification, going for tests, tracking your money, communicating with your loved ones. It takes some research, some courage, and acceptance. No small feats to be sure. Once you know the problem, it makes it a whole lot easier to find solutions. However, you need a lot of solutions in order to find one that works for you.

Ugh, it all means work.

Or you can just needlessly worry, and let life take care of the problem for you. Sometimes you have to do that too. But, I am a fighter. I’ve been passive too but only on things I knew were hopeless, or not worth pursuing. Things I could not correct, only make worse by mucking around with it. It is good to let a lover go sometimes, or a job and look for the silver lining and new opportunities. Never easy, but certainly inevitable at some time in life.

I take great strength from people who have been through worse and survived, or better, thrived!

It does not mean things will go according to plan, but at least I will have thought about it and have some idea what to do. And if something comes out at me from left field, at least I know that in the past I have solved problems and knew what to do. It builds resilience.

And yet, I still worry. I lose sleep. I am human.

I think worry shows you the reality of life, that you cannot always control your destiny. But it only shows you the dark side of things. What if things improved immeasurably by something supposedly bad happening? I can tell you truthfully, this is often the case. Either what I worried about never came to pass, or in hindsight, it was the best thing to ever happen.

Gold Watch

Why is there a growing trend to treat long term employees badly?

What happened to the gold watch, the praise, the acknowledgement of many years of loyal service?

Why has this been replaced with disdain?

There is a rise in employers terminating long term employees just in the nick of time to avoid paying them pensions, or ripping them off of retirement benefits, or making it impossible to claim unemployment insurance, or get severance pay. This is now followed by bosses treating the employee badly, ignoring them, severing long term relationships where there never was a problem before, everyone was friendly, hell – the employee probably even went to their house for the odd barbeque, knew all about their kids, cared about their problems – maybe even sacrificed their free time to help them out! Worse, fellow employees now join in the fun, berating their co-workers and laughing at their predicament.

Why is this happening?

These are often big corporations that snub the long term employee, who can easily afford to pay their benefits, but prefer to send that money to their CEO’s and shareholders. What gives?

A lot of mean spiritedness is for no reason. They gain nothing by making it difficult for an employee to get unemployment insurance, or medical benefits. I don’t get it.

If businesses are going to behave badly, that is what we have governments for. To force them, by law, to be good stewards over their flock. We need laws to protect our loyal workers.

The only thing I can hope for is a good dose of heavy duty karma on these bastards. After all, one day, they too will be old, and considered useless, even though they have proved for decades they are anything but worthless. They will pay for the mistreatment of their loyal co-workers and employees.

Some Evidence of Spring


On one of the worst days of spring this year, I was surprised by this strange sound as I made my way to my early morning commute.

I was stunned to see a large woodpecker happily chopping up a tree! As wood chips flew past me, I struggled to get my camera out and capture the moment. And miss my bus (worth it!).

There goes the bus!

We have a pair of woodpeckers who return every year to our property and sometimes I have been lucky enough to spot the young ones. But this year I was blessed to have an adult so close, and on such a miserable day.

Sometimes joy comes when I least expect it.

I still got to work on time.


Suddenly there was a mass exodus of birds, flushed out from the rooftops and sidewalks of downtown. A cloud of mostly pigeons, interspersed with seagulls, starlings and sparrows, swooped around the buildings and down the streets.

Squinting into the noonday sky I spot the reasons. Too very large hawks slowly circling high above.

There are more hawks and falcons arriving yearly to our city in response to the increasing number of pigeons. At my apartment building I have seen as many as ten at once circling our skies. Falcons were introduced to our city core many years ago in an attempt to curb pigeon growth, but word got out and soon hawks were joining the foray.

To witness the slow circling flight of these birds is mesmerizing, terrifying and awe inspiring at the same time. But I think magnificence because they seem to rule their realm.

However, it is also true that crows vociferously announce the hawks whereabouts and mercilessly attack them on wing.

Nature makes sure all balances out, and it fills me with wonder.

I saw lots of osprey on my visit to Spokane a few years ago.