A Quiet Week at Last!

I was gifted with a loud voice.  We are talking sonic boom kind of vocals.  So I constantly wonder why I end up working in places that demand quiet.  It makes no sense to me.  Is it a cruel joke that I’m not quite getting?

I suppose it is because I am an introvert.  I like working in small establishments.  But I have been given a voice that demands a large audience.

I am not ashamed of my voice.  It is mine.  I cannot regulate it much.  When I try, I go so low no one can hear me.  My volume control dial has two settings, off and 2 notches from max.  Not a shrill voice, it is deep, but I can blast speakers and glass in equal measure when I get excited.  I am often teased I never have to use the phone to call someone.

The only defense I have is to not speak at all, which is effective, but not always a viable alternative.  There are times when I need to be heard, although some might argue that point.

There are celebrations when I get laryngitis.  My friend says “Ah, a quiet weekend at last!”

So, I write.  I draw.  I photograph.  All is quiet and good.

It is a good thing I like to be alone.  I actually hate noise and revere solitude and silence.  So it is very ironic to have these vocals.

There were times when my voice was appreciated.  In school I was encouraged, fortunately, to speak clearly, and eliminate the ‘ums’, ‘like’, ‘ya know what I mean’ and the infamous ‘eh’ from my vocabulary.  But it wasn’t too often I was willing to speak, I was very shy.  I can remember being physically ill having to do class presentations.  But get me on a subject I am passionate about!  Then I let loose!  Imagine – I volunteered to give a speech on a topic I was enthusiastic about, and I did!  Life is strange.

Perhaps my volume was never meant to be a curse but a gift to be used in a way I’ve never considered or overlooked.  I’d make a good PA system.  I’d never be lost for long, people could find me a hundred miles off.

Anyhow, I am stuck with it and my office suffers me and well –

When I retire no one will hear a sound.

A quiet week at last!

Spring Cleaning

Last Monday an ice storm, today a summer like day.

How lovely to air out the apartment after such a long and brutal winter.  As I sweep away the remnants of winter, Sam, my white cat, assists by rolling next to my broom until we are both coloured grey.  It is all good.

As stale air is replaced by fresh air, I rearrange furniture, wash plants and ornaments and feel that heaviness lift.  Sam zooms around the rooms and helps to do the spring cleaning and rearranging in his own way.

My oxalis is up and straining for sun.  Three maples trees have survived the drab winter months.  All my indoor plants are perking up.  The violets are blooming.

I sit outside for awhile and watch the world around me renew itself.  A cardinal is singing his heart out, a bright orange red splash against a blue sky.  A woodpecker flits from tree to tree waking up the insects.  A seagull circles high above me, his white wings catching the sun.   A brown rabbit is checking out everyone’s flower beds for emerging shoots.  The trees are ready to burst into leaf.  It is a grand day on the edge of spring.  A good day to spring clean my mind!

Today, I refuse to look at the news.  I don’t care about idiot politics or gossip or any bad thing predicted or happening or otherwise.  I don’t care about work and all that drudgery, boredom, problems, or money, whatever.  Today is a day of celebration, of joy!

I’ll get back to finishing the spring cleaning eventually.  There is always tomorrow, or later, or never.

The Next Big Thing

So, young Mark Zuckerberg looks like a robot.  Well, the man is probably scared shitless, don’t you think?  He is under intense scrutiny. Viewed by millions – possibly the entire world.  Exactly what kind of condition would you be in if this was happening to you?  Mr. Zuckerberg is on trial for the way he looks, sits, acts, speaks and drinks water.  And, oh yeah, for this bit about Facebook . . .

Not that I sympathize with him.  No, not at all.  I mean – isn’t it very fitting that he should be so exposed?

There is a lot of irony to this Facebook fiasco.  We embrace social media, expose ourselves globally, sometimes embarrassingly, then condemn it when it bites us.  Even the founder himself feels the same way!

It is just we are focusing on the wrong things here.

There is also a lot of talk about how this is an issue of technology out of control, we’re losing autonomy, and much more – yes, this is all true.  These are all things we need to address.

But this is not the core issue.

The real crux are problems we’ve had since we invented corporations.

Corruption.  Greed.  Power.

Corporate greed.  Corporate corruption.  Corporate power.

I know, the same old ho-hum stuff.

But Oh! How we love Hollywood!  Celebrity.  Drama.  Political intrigue.  The cover ups, the lies, back tracking and stabbing, fudging, until the whole thing becomes so muddled we don’t know what the truth is. Talk, shock and analyzing. Grab a beer, a bowl of popcorn and sit in front of the telly and catch the latest news.  Overdose on the web, newspapers, magazines, talk shows, documentaries, and commentaries.  Yammer away with friends and family.  Soap operas are the zest and lust of human life.

And what comes from all this?

Not much.

As it fades, we wait for the next big thing.

We don’t want to solve these problems.  We enjoy the theatrics too much!


Better Things To Do

After a shitty day at work I come home to my usual answering machine full of threatening and hateful messages from various telemarketers and the like.  Every day a terse threat from Google to update my business listing (I don’t even have a business listing – I also get these calls every day at work – just STOP it).  I get calls from telemarketers asking for Mr. or Mrs. and my last name totally mispronounced.  There are threats that I am up for litigation, or fines, or the Revenue service is after me.  I am extremely popular.

The other day was a particularly crappy day and I got an email from some goof apologizing for his bad English and then threatening to e-mail all my contacts a film of me masturbating if I don’t send 300 Bit Coins to his account.  Oh just shut up, grow up, and stop.

I am sick of this crap.  You scammers and the like, use your brains for something useful.  You are intelligent.  The world is in trouble.  We need people to solve problems, not to create more.

Do you not realize the pain and suffering you cause people who are already overloaded with pain and suffering in their day to day lives?  We have loss, depression, heartache, death, disease – just like YOU.  We have nasty bosses, angry customers.  We are overworked, underpaid.  We are frustrated.  How do you feel when you or your loved ones get such hateful emails and phone messages?  Or do you not look that far ahead?

You spend all day dreaming up these scams to terrorize, spend hours making them real and then dump them on the world like a toxic oil spill.  Why don’t you use all this time and energy to get educated, get a decent job and create things instead of destroying?  How do you want to be remembered – by the world, by your family?  As a loser scammer or someone who did something wonderful for people and the world?

I have had a rough week, and normally I just say PFFFFTTT!  But I am fed up with people who waste not only my time, but the entire worlds time.  People with intelligence who choose the dark side instead of helping.  There are better things to do.