I was gifted with a loud voice. We are talking sonic boom kind of vocals. So I constantly wonder why I end up working in places that demand quiet. It makes no sense to me. Is it a cruel joke that I’m not quite getting?
I suppose it is because I am an introvert. I like working in small establishments. But I have been given a voice that demands a large audience.
I am not ashamed of my voice. It is mine. I cannot regulate it much. When I try, I go so low no one can hear me. My volume control dial has two settings, off and 2 notches from max. Not a shrill voice, it is deep, but I can blast speakers and glass in equal measure when I get excited. I am often teased I never have to use the phone to call someone.
The only defense I have is to not speak at all, which is effective, but not always a viable alternative. There are times when I need to be heard, although some might argue that point.
There are celebrations when I get laryngitis. My friend says “Ah, a quiet weekend at last!”
So, I write. I draw. I photograph. All is quiet and good.
It is a good thing I like to be alone. I actually hate noise and revere solitude and silence. So it is very ironic to have these vocals.
There were times when my voice was appreciated. In school I was encouraged, fortunately, to speak clearly, and eliminate the ‘ums’, ‘like’, ‘ya know what I mean’ and the infamous ‘eh’ from my vocabulary. But it wasn’t too often I was willing to speak, I was very shy. I can remember being physically ill having to do class presentations. But get me on a subject I am passionate about! Then I let loose! Imagine – I volunteered to give a speech on a topic I was enthusiastic about, and I did! Life is strange.
Perhaps my volume was never meant to be a curse but a gift to be used in a way I’ve never considered or overlooked. I’d make a good PA system. I’d never be lost for long, people could find me a hundred miles off.
Anyhow, I am stuck with it and my office suffers me and well –
When I retire no one will hear a sound.
A quiet week at last!
