Author: samandoat

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In Praise of Fruit Cakes

The kind you eat, not the massive amount of nut jobs that have come out from the cracks in 2020.

My friend reminded me that fruit cakes have been maligned without cause. I agree. I love fruit cake. It has so much bad stuff in it, you get your chemical fix and load for an entire year! Not to mention calories.

It is not surprising that the amount of bad in something is equal to the deliciousness of the item. The more yummy it is, the worse it is for you. But it is only once in the entire year. So if you like fruit cake, indulge!

I bought my bit of sinful eating yesterday; dark with marzipan icing. But I will eat just about any kind of fruit cake.

One year, when I was younger (seems like most things now have that qualifier!) a friend made fruit cake with rum in it, unbeknown to my young self. I ate the entire thing and felt pretty damn warm and good the whole Christmas evening. But I’ve never done it again. I am quite happy with non-alcoholic versions of fruit cake. There is already enough bad in there!

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One Thing

2020 has been a hell of a year.

But one thing will not change.

The Christmas spirit.

Even though we cannot be together this year to celebrate and spend too much and eat too much, the spirit of Christmas remains. It is not dependent on religion, commercialism, the date or even the cat. It comes from our hearts and it never fails. Well, maybe the cat too.

I started to get the Christmas spirit a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t because the stores are playing Christmas music and have special holiday themed gifts to buy. It isn’t because of lawn ornaments and decorations and lights. I am quite sure I could be in the middle of nowhere and still experience this wonderful feeling.

Thank God I have it, because the rest of the year wreaked havoc on us all.

A little bit of table top Christmas cheer.

The tree top star was appropriately absconded by cat. Perfect ending for 2020.

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In Praise of Farts

You can count on one thing when you get old; your farts will not be contained.

They will be heard, and heard loudly. They will smell, and smell badly. They love to have an audience, are sneaky, and can guarantee you will have plenty of space in Aisle 13 at Walmart.

I praise farts because they feel so good. Why some of our less desirable bodily functions feel so good I do not know, but they do. And why humans have to be so noisy and smelly is a mystery, but some animals can out do us on both counts. All animals react the same way to encountering a fart as humans; pleasure for the farter, disgust from the rest of us.

My cat Sam doesn’t fart. He fluffs. Cats are dignified about such matters.

Farts are like having a trumpet at your rear end. They are smelly music. They make us laugh and cry.

So I will end this shitty year with a signature fart, it is befitting for all the crap we’ve endured in 2020.

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Bug on My Shoe

While out for a walk, this fellow hitched a ride on my shoe for a spell, so I gently escorted him to finer places; to a bit of grass and shade on a beautiful fall day.

These bugs have been plentiful this autumn, out on my balcony sunning themselves. They lumber around at a leisurely pace, and seem to have some difficulty flying, but once they are air borne manage quite well.

I believe they are Assassin Bugs. My biology education fails me, but it doesn’t matter. I’d rather not know to tell the truth. I prefer things to be a mystery. Once you name them and find out about them they lose some appeal. Especially when you discover their not so nice qualities.

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Just Because 2020

Every year I get myself a ‘Just Because’ gift for my Birthday and Christmas combined. This year was a bit more difficult to indulge a pleasure; I’ve been out of work since June, so money is tight. It’ll stay tight until Covid is gone or my books start to sell.

But, I do have a whimsical and cheap little desire that was easily fulfilled this week, just in time.

I’ve always had a little girl weakness for glitter, sparkle and rhinestones and such things are plentiful as we near Christmas. So I happily bought a gaudy $6 pin from the local drug store.

Last year I bought a snowflake. I had better taste last year. This year a nutcracker caught my eye.

As you can see, he is a strange little fellow, rather odd expression don’t you think? However, I thought very befitting for 2020. 2020 has been a topsy turvy crazy insane weird year, so he is a perfect tribute to it. He is not cute or pretty, just like 2020. But he has some glam, so I hope 2021 does.

Usually such purchases languish in the box and I never wear them, but I’ll make an exception for my ugly little friend here so I can have some cheer every time I put him on.

Cheers to my ‘Just Because’ gift that brings me an unusual bit of amusement in a year I so desperately need a laugh.

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On the Beach

I was reminded of an incident that happened so long ago I am not sure if it happened where I think it happened, but does that matter? Nope.

This is one of my favourite pictures of Mom and I, from who knows when, certainly when I was a lot younger. A lot younger.

However, I do remember it was taken at the New Jersey Boardwalk. We were visiting my very generous brother, who was always giving us vacations to places in the United States. I am very grateful. Thank you!

Apart from the fabulous salt water taffy, the million and one things to see and do at the Jersey shore, there is, of course, the ocean.

I am a certified water baby, so my main delight is in H2O, thus I liked to be near the ocean or in it. I can’t remember if this was my first encounter with the ocean, not my last for sure.

I think it was here that I was wandering along the edge of the water, ankle deep, and then gradually, got more interested in going deeper, and deeper and . . .

I got sucked up by a wave that was quite a bit bigger than myself, and pulled under. I got caught in the undertow and violently spun over like a jelly roll and spit out, like some bad tasting fish, hurled up on the beach, and deposited, while absolutely no one took notice. In fact, people walked around me, quite possibly, even over me.

I was quite battered and it took days to expel all the salt out of my ears, and elsewhere.

I was admonished to turn into the next wave that over powered me, but to tell the truth, I never went back in the ocean again. I’ll walk on the beach, maybe get my toes wet. That is enough.

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Sigh of Relief

For the past 4 years we have been brutally reminded, on a daily basis, of all that is wrong with us and our world. It has been exhaustive, as someone said, like living with an abusive partner. Today we feel tremendous relief having that burden lifted, being freed from oppression and tyranny.

I am talking of course about the authoritarian rule of trump.

On a personal level, this era has exposed the darkness of my own heart. My prejudices, bigotry, narrow mindedness, false beliefs all laid bare. The search for truth in a world awash in lies has changed my perceptions and opinions.

I am grateful.

I hope others have had a similar experience. They have searched themselves and made changes.

I’ve escaped abusive relationships and situations. Narrowly sometimes. Life threatening other times. I’ve been trapped in a cult like relationship to a cruel trump like boss. Each time my heart has opened a bit wider, my understanding expands. My compassion grows. Wisdom replaces folly.

But I was never fully attuned to global afflictions before trump. My small world of introspection is replaced with a global perspective, realizing that my own personal experiences are also a global one. Often the difference is only a matter of scale.

At the end of this reign of terror, what I find most surprising is what was hidden. The entire world has been holding its breath these 4 years. Where we expected widespread violence from trump supporters, we instead find celebration by the oppressed. It proves to me that good outweighs the bad and this gives me hope.

Just as trump unleashed all the crazies in the entire world, giving them riotous license to pillage, destroy, kill and maim, we now see a global about face and dictators and their minions are being called out.

At the forefront of this is the undeniable fact that the USA influences, often determines, what happens to the rest of the world. This is heady stuff. America forgot this. They had amnesia.

I think during the trump reign, America was comatose.

This is something that the USA should really take note of. The effect their decisions have on the rest of the world and the resulting responsibility this entails. They should pay attention to that fact and not abuse it. More than ever they should prove they deserve to be a global leader by being mature and doing the right things for all of us. They are, whether they like it or not, the example to the rest of us on how we should conduct our affairs and lives.

America has narrowly dodged a bullet of dictatorship and totalitarianism and thus spared the entire world a similar fate.

I hope they fully understand this.

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Last Walks Before Winter

I have a condition called Polymyalgia Rheumatica, just a fancy name for “Holy Shit, my body is attacking itself!”

Mostly, it likes to eat my feet, effectively preventing me from going any further than to the store across the street. It amazes me how a such a small spot on my foot can totally disable me.

But for some reason, I got a reprieve the past week.

Just in time to catch a bit of nature in autumn.

Thank you!

Last walks before winter. Last walks until who knows when.

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One Bad Apple

It is ironic that the very things that makes us decent and civilized, are the very things that work against us.

As decent human beings, we extend compassion, empathy and the benefit of the doubt to everyone, even those among us who are incapable of doing so themselves. Those who have no understanding of it and no ability to change. Those who view such traits as weaknesses to be exploited. And exploit it, they do.

One bad apple can, and often does, destroy the rest.

I have read how our systems of democracy and socialism work against themselves in much the same manner. We treat individuals who are not part of the system, (the system comprised of those with the collective understanding and mentality of decency, honour and caring), with decency, and they use that to tear the whole structure down.

We mistakenly believe everyone has the same capacity to be decent, and this is just not true.

So we stand in shock and watch as people bilk our institutions, dictators commit genocide, people abuse us and leaders destroy our sense of normalcy.

Or worse, we become participants, the apples spoiled by one.

The common good is to excuse, justify, ignore and ultimately accept another’s bad behaviour, their disregard for social norms, laws and decency, especially one who has rose to great power or has authority over us. We think at any moment that good, that decency, will appear, that it is in that person somewhere. And this is how we get fooled. They give us that moment of normalcy, kindness or praise and we are hooked. And we seldom, if ever witness it again. This is how they spoil the barrel of apples. They have to have enablers.

We fail to see that they do not respond as a normal person would, so our ways of punishment, or redirecting such people, namely through laws, reasoning, therapy and common understanding do not work. They easily disregard such things because they are on a different level, they live in an entirely different reality. The threat of punishment does not work on a person who has no understanding of decency. Their values and priorities are so removed from ours.

The answer of course, is not retaliation, because then we are no longer part of the common good and are now them. I believe the solution is in education. To recognize such individuals and stop or severely limit their ability to wreck havoc in our society before they do. If you know a persons game before you get involved, you can choose not to participate. Without participants, such people are not enabled and cannot cause harm.

Why are we not taught about humans? Why are we left to struggle through life figuring it out for ourselves, with faulty logic and reasoning? Why are we not taught, in our education system, basic human nature and how to get along with others? Why are we not taught about governments, politics, society, money?

Why are we not taught how to think?

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Just a Bit Less?

I am a notorious note taker, that is I keep track of a lot of mundane things, like when I last changed the kitty litter, or did my laundry, and other stuff, like how much product did I actually get for what I paid for, compared to last purchase.

One thing I’ve noticed is that quantities of purchased items sometimes get discreetly smaller. That is, less stuff for the same price.

This is not new by any means. It is an old trick. I started noticing it when I was younger, how chocolate bars were just slightly smaller for the same price. No, it is not my imagination. Mind you, candy bars were a bit more honest about it, they recorded the change in grams, but they kept the same size packaging.

A few weeks ago I noticed that my loaves of bread are almost one slice less. Almost, because the last slice is now a very small, untoastable bit of crust, where as before it was a whole, toastable crust. There used to be 16 complete slices, now 15 and a bit.

It is a consistent anomaly. Every loaf is the same. I eat lots of bread.

The package claims the same amount of grams, and no doubt the difference is so slight as to be excusable, except, I notice.

I know, big deal.

Still, it irritates me a little.

Today I discovered that the lined paper I bought recently is slightly less than 8 1/2 by 11. Not that I measured it at first, I didn’t notice, until I went to put a bunch on my clip board under a stack of paper I bought last year. Then I measured, as I could plainly see the difference. Last years is definitely standard letter size. This stuff is 8 1/4 by 10 3/4.

Interesting no?

It doesn’t make a whole lot of difference to anything actually, just to me. I find it sneaky and a bit unsettling.