You can count on one thing when you get old; your farts will not be contained.
They will be heard, and heard loudly. They will smell, and smell badly. They love to have an audience, are sneaky, and can guarantee you will have plenty of space in Aisle 13 at Walmart.
I praise farts because they feel so good. Why some of our less desirable bodily functions feel so good I do not know, but they do. And why humans have to be so noisy and smelly is a mystery, but some animals can out do us on both counts. All animals react the same way to encountering a fart as humans; pleasure for the farter, disgust from the rest of us.
My cat Sam doesn’t fart. He fluffs. Cats are dignified about such matters.
Farts are like having a trumpet at your rear end. They are smelly music. They make us laugh and cry.
So I will end this shitty year with a signature fart, it is befitting for all the crap we’ve endured in 2020.