An Apology

I should like to apologize to all the people I have knowingly shamed in my life, and there are many of you. I am so sorry.

I was shamed by others most of my life and you’d think I would know the horrible consequences of that enough to not inflict it on others.

But alas, I did not.

Isn’t that a sad testimony, considering how long I have lived?

All these years I have believed that everyone else was okay, and I had a lot of bad in me that was inexcusable. I caused others to feel this way too.

In the movie, The Mission, slave trader Mendoza attempts penance for his wrongdoings by dragging a big heavy bag of his metal armour and swords everywhere he goes. As if he, and he alone has done wrong in his life. He is eventually set free from this by the very people he once enslaved.

This is what shame and guilt is. That big bag.

But here is the reality of it. Everyone has done wrong. Realizing that was like that indigenous man cutting Mendoza loose from his bag of shame. That man knew the truth. No one should carry all the weight of shame. We have all done the inexcusable at some time in our lives. No one is exempt.

And I’ve learned that those who shame and guilt another the most, are often the ones who have a lot to be ashamed of themselves! The ones who subdued me the most, for what I now see as being petty crimes, were the ones with the blackest of hearts, who did much wrong in their lives.

I am definitely not saying forgive, or even forget. I don’t believe in that. You can’t forgive and forget pain. But you can see the truth about humans.

This is not an excuse. I knowingly shamed others. I am offering an apology and a way for you to be free from a burden that is not exclusively yours to carry.