Debates

When I was young we had, what probably no one has heard of today, debating societies.

In school we would have contests to see which side could give the most convincing argument either for or against a certain topic or idea.

It gave us a chance to see important points on both sides of the street, as it were. These debates never, as far as I knew, caused trouble.

There were no murders or personal or cultural cancellations. It gave young people a chance to explore other opinions and ideas without fear. It made people think about issues and formulate their own opinions.

The debates never involved personal attack. No one was belittled or condemned for a point of view. It was all about facts and presentation. You might not be swayed by one point of view, but it made you think more clearly about issues.

To shake things up, a teacher would assign you, regardless of your personal opinions, to present a case often against what you believed in. This forced you to use your brain, to do research, and to see that often things are not as black and white as you previously thought.

This is what a good education is suppose to do – give you critical thinking and expand your mind.

Sadly missing today. Today, everything is about emotion. Just react to everything without a thought. It’s all about ME ME ME.

I’ve had all the emotion I can handle for a life time, thank you. Can we please just have interesting debates instead of out and out fury?

Bare Face

It has now been 10 months since I’ve worn makeup.

Not that I miss it.

When I was young, I wore makeup to enhance my looks. When I was older, I wore it to cover up my looks.

But now, who cares.

I’ve been out of work since we closed the office in mid March 2020, so I put away the mascara and blush and concealer and whatnot.

No more poisons on my face. Just look at the ingredients in those things! I tried at one time to make my own cosmetics from natural stuff and failed miserably.

My cat could care less what I look like, as long as the food dish is full and the litter box pooh free.

I have no idea how to do skype or zoom so no worries about what I look like. And I’m a senior, no matter what you plaster on my face. I don’t get asked for ID at the store on Seniors day. Mascara, concealer and blush ain’t gonna fool them 20 somethings at the cash.

Makeup won’t catch me a 20 year old for a fling. It’d kill me anyways.

A Man in Himself

I read a post last year by a very angry man looking for work.

He was pissed because it seemed to him no one read his resume in detail or appreciated all of his achievements. They would contact him but then ask him what he considered to be a stupid question, that reflected the fact they had not read his resume.

His response to this was breathtaking.

He said he would end the conversation on the next person who did that! Wow! That’ll be sure to get you hired! He went on to say that anyone who wouldn’t take the time to examine all his marvellous achievements wasn’t worth talking to. That their opinions were irrelevant. He ended this rant with “don’t waste my time.”

What is more dazzling was that some people applauded his rant!

Okay. What I see is a very frustrated individual who needed to vent. Times are hard. We work so f’in hard and long and do wondrous, important things and no one notices or cares. We rack up achievement after achievement, plaster our walls with awards and certificates, and whoa. It means nothing.

Well, welcome to the real world.

We all have moments like this man. Where we are so incredibly immature and inwardly focused, vain and egoic and we lash out. I think however, a private journal would be more appropriate.

What he overlooked was the fact people were contacting him to find out more.

So obviously, something caught their interest. They wanted to talk to this person.

Do you know how many people can’t even get that? They get no response at all.

What an attitude!

Everyone comes searching for employment with the same package. Skills, experience, education, awards, references and a lot of external validations. There is more competition than ever for less work. So you can’t rely on your successes to sell yourself. People are not impressed by that, despite what you are led to believe. That is why we have interviews. To get to know the person. Truth be told, you can have no skill, experience, education, awards or a thousand other things and still get the job. Because you have the right personality. You can learn anything with the right attitude.

Case in point. I was visiting my brother in Texas and while I was browsing in a store that sold water fountains, something I know absolutely nothing about, the manager offered me a job there. The manager didn’t care about my life. She just liked me. Why, I have no idea.

So if someone can like me enough to hire me on the spot, shit, anyone can get hired!

Just be yourself.

System is Broken

Prime Minister Trudeau said it, “The system is broken and the world is in crisis. Things are about to get much worse unless we change.”

Everything.

The corona virus has brought all that is wrong with our world right out front and center.

But let me just talk about work.

The way we work, is not working.

If the governments and corporations and every place in between say workers will get lazy and not work if we give them a basic income, something is horribly wrong. If they also say, if workers get paid sick leave they will take more leave, then something is wrong with our thinking. The problem is not people, the workers, the problem is deeply hidden in our way of doing things, in our perception of how things ought to be. There is something wrong with our employment if we don’t want to work, because people like to be productive and have value. We like to buy things and contribute to society. We like to have a good quality of life. The problem is with the system, of how we are made to work, and of the values there.

We are forcing humans to behave in non-human ways. Think about it. If we were working in a way that meshed with who we are, we would not be miserable. If we worked where our needs are being met, we would not be miserable. There are people who have accomplished this, and the ones who have, guess what, are the ones who are helping one another, who are cleaning up the environment, who are finding ways to improve our lives without cost to our planet or to their and our well being. People who are creative, who bring beauty to our world. People who are finding solutions. People who care about one another, where we live and the future.

People who do what they love are happy. They tend not to exploit others or our home.

Think about this. The people who sell us stuff often cannot afford to buy that stuff themselves. Nor can they afford the services they provide us with.

There are grocery clerks who can’t buy the very food they sell.

I worked for an optometrist and I could not easily afford the services we provided. It would cost me over two weeks salary to have an exam, tests and get glasses.

I once worked for a high end department store where I had to have one of their credit cards and buy a certain amount of items, and type of items in order to continue my employment. Items I could neither afford nor want, while being paid minimum wage and having to work whenever they determined. One of my fellow employees was already $70,000 in debt! And the worst part was, the company fully admitted that this is how they made their profits, from interest on credit card debt. So much so, they didn’t even worry about the tens of thousands of dollars they lost in theft each year! Theft not from employees, because we were instructed to watch each other and report on each other and there were cameras over every cash register, and not elsewhere in the store. Ask yourself some questions about this set up.

Doesn’t this spell misery?

Employees are monitored in ways that are not unlike a communist regime, or at the very least treated like irresponsible children. If employers think employees are just waiting to rip them off, ask yourself WHY would they be thinking that way? Is it perhaps because employers are ripping them off, or mistreating them? It is not a normal way for people to think or be. We do not normally wish other people misfortune unless we are made to stoop that low, because we are being taken advantage of or mistreated. If we are abused long enough we end up hurting others. This is not who we are. We are social animals who care about things. God said we are stewards and we are. Something has gone amiss.

We have a system called slavery.

This is how people are enslaved. Not paid enough to live on and kept forever in debt.

Something is wrong with this, don’t you think? The system is not in synch with who we are. It is forcing us to behave in ways against our nature. To work beyond our mental and physical capabilities. To be unable to help others because we can’t even help ourselves. To have to choose between eating, our life saving medications or having a roof over our heads. To have someone else control our life completely, whether we live or die.

If you read about how populations are forced to make a state (James C. Scott) you will see that these are extremely unstable entities that cause enormous amounts of suffering to benefit the few. And it is not, in my opinion, a natural way for people to be. I don’t think that most of us condone slavery, pollution, corruption. I think we embrace altruism, and we are being taught this is wrong. We are being educated to think socialism is wrong. Why? People don’t even know what it is but condemn it.

Just asking you to think about this.

If you look at situations where people are allowed to be themselves, you will see them do heroic acts of kindness and self sacrifice. Sure, there are exceptions, but in most cases I think you will see people embrace their true nature of kindness and caring when called upon to do so. We are always looking for ways to help others. We like to give more than receive.

We need to overhaul our work life to properly reflect the values that people are born with.

Along with virtually everything else in this world that man has touched.

Do The Zen Thing

How’s your New Years Resolutions going?

Thought so.

You know why they don’t work? They suck. They are work. They are not fun.

Here is what happens.

Your mind is an impetuous little bastard that goes Oh! Gotta try this, gotta do that! Your mind goes all over the place and is instantly excited about most things. Excitement that melts away much faster than an ice cream cone. And it lies. More than Trump!

I am amazed at how fast my mind will convince me that this is it, this time it’ll work and blah, blah, blah. A lot of hot air, zeal and, well, hot air. This is where good ideas come from, and ultimately, where they go.

Things I have learned. Not to make New Year Resolutions. Not at any time of the year. Running after lofty goals because they look good is a mind thing that results in chasing clouds. Listening to your heart is a zen thing that will bring unexpected and long lasting change.

Your mind and heart play vastly different tunes on totally different instruments. My mind is a piccolo, my heart is a bass drum. When the mind goes off it plays a merry whimsical tune, and it is gone like a puff of air. My heart however speaks deep in my body, and whatever it wants is the truth and resonates throughout my whole being.

If you really want to change you have to do the zen. You have to sit with your cravings, your longings, your wantings, your challenges and find out what your heart has to say.

To do what the mind says, get your whip out.

Both take work. Ugh. And you have to do both.

Who needs more work? I already have nine to five shit five days a week. Who wants to do more work? Give me the money and die. Yeah, if only. Money can solve a lot of problems, but it can’t satisfy for long. Only the heart can give you what you really want. So ya gotta do the work.

Words without actions are just words. Actions without direction are just actions. Your heart will give you a lot of wisdom and direction when you sit with it and listen, but you need your mind to take action.

Stop chasing external things like losing weight, making a million dollars, finding the love of your life, and have a nice visit with yourself. Let your heart give you an internal feel good that you will know is the right thing to do. If you need a bit of extra sleep during the day, the heart can be reached through meditation. I wish it had a 1-800 number instead.

70 is NOT the new 65

Anyone who says 70 is the new 65 is not even close to being 65 yet.

My health started to give me attitude in my late 50’s despite me being athletic, active, eating healthy and all the rest.

It is called aging.

I think we are developing a dangerous skewered view of aging that is similar to the warped view of entrepreneurship when you are old.

The media highlights the success stories, which gives us the idea that all you need to do is work at it and you can stay healthy and young forever.

I agree that ‘working at it’ increases the odds in your favor to be healthy as you grow older, but it is not a guarantee. Yes, you should do all you can – but when you get older, your body WILL have other ideas, no matter what you do. It slows down, it loses ability and agility, it gets ill, it dies. I have seen so many people in denial about this who torture themselves to cheat death.

Society has bought into this New Age crap about mind over matter, positive thinking and all that shit, and it is causing us to be more youth orientated than ever. We have a very flippant and unforgiving attitude towards aging that is doing serious harm to the elderly.

It is an unfortunate lie to presume that aging is all in your head – that it is just a number. It is not. Your body wears out. You cannot do what you could at 20, 30 or even 40.

Look at the real world, how many seniors can you truthfully say are younger in body than in age? We only hear about the exceptions, the ones who defy aging – they are in the minority. The truth is not so rosy.

The dangerous part of this thinking is that it could set in motion policies designed to cut out or delay necessary help for the aged, namely medicare, pensions, government assistance. Saying that 70 is the new 65 implies that all seniors are able to keep on working and take care of themselves, this is so far, far from the truth.

Equally so is the fallacy that when you are old you can just start over when you are cast out of your job and deemed redundant. Many do not have the resources to do this, nor the energy or health. It costs a lot of money, time and energy to start your own gig, and if it fails, like most of them do, seniors have no way of recovering what they have lost. Even to keep working 8 hours or more a day, 5 days a week takes a hell of a toll on an older person. They can’t keep it up.

The truth about aging is this: Our bodies deteriorate, no matter what. We cannot do as much as we used to. Our ability to recover from loss; mentally, physically, financially is almost ZERO.

Before I got sick, I used to think the same way, that aging was all in your head. That I could keep on forever working hard, playing hard and doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But it is a lie.

Aging is not a disease. It is not something you can outsmart, overcome or out do. And you will need help, of some kind, in your later years because you cannot function as you did when you were younger.

My Mother always warned me that I should save enough money because I will get tired. Of course I did not believe her. And anyone in good health younger than 60 reading this will not believe her either. Nowadays you could never save enough money anyways.

Take a good look at those older folks who are celebrities, or successful. Are they doing it on their own? NO. They have staff that does a lot of things for them, that is how they can stay active doing what they love. When they get sick, they get instant attention and the best care. Do most seniors have that luxury?

My Mother got to live in her own place well into her nineties, but this was not because her body was healthy like a 40 year old. It was because she had an awful lot of help. This is reality. Ask anyone who is currently taking care of an aging relative.

It is not right or fair to ask or expect an older person to continue doing what they did when younger. We must ensure that our aging population is taken care of. It is not their fault that they get old, sick and die. It is mother nature.

So stop waving the flag that 70 is the new 65. It is total bullshit.

Cure the Introvert

I am an introvert. Can you please just leave me alone about it?!

Stop trying to make me an extrovert.

The latest is, us introverts ‘suffer’ from social anxiety disorder. Puh-leese!

First of all, I abhor labels. Labels belong on products like carrots, hairspray and toilet paper. Human beings are so much more than a character trait, and we can change hourly. One minute we are a snivelling, wretched mess, the next superman/woman. I refuse to be identified by a singular characteristic. What makes extroverts normal and healthy and the rest of us dysfunctional? It is bullshit.

Animals are sometimes solitary (and aggressively defend such times) and other times social. Feral cats spend evenings with their buddies, the day is mostly on their own. I watch seagulls who quite happily fly around all day where ever they please and then also quite happily congregate in huge numbers for an afternoon siesta. Animals choose how they spend their time and who with. We are no different.

Sometimes I am an extrovert, I like to socialize, the difference being, I can only do short periods of it, not 3 days of constant partying. I spend 90% of my time alone. So whereas my periods of socializing are anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours a few times a month, extroverts have the opposite schedule.

The differences between us are a matter of scale and preference. Neither is wrong or right, we are just different.

Calling introversion a social anxiety disorder puts an urgency on a trait that is quite normal for a great deal of people, and sets in motion the idea that we need to be treated and cured. It is NOT a disorder. We are NOT sick. Stop it!

Instead of beating us up, why not focus on our strengths, cut us some slack (i.e. stop making us go to office parties, do presentations, schmooze, share office space and the like). Let us decide if we want to participate. Making us be you is bullying.

You cannot change us. My Mother (God rest) tried to convert me into a social butterfly princess and caused me intense suffering, along with many well meaning work places and people who knew what was best for me.

So accept the fact introverts like to be alone most of the time. There is nothing to cure.

Hippie Wisdom

Three older women dressed as hippies; headbands, peace symbols, suede fringed vests and flowered bell bottoms, were having a blast doing a photo shoot in the mall yesterday at one of those specialty photo booths, where for a price you can be anyone and get a photo to prove it.

I stopped to watch because my head has been in the 60’s and 70’s lately.

I am on vacation and doing a lot of reflecting back on my life, and I had a moment of hippie sappiness.

My life up to this point is meaningless and pointless, a common realization to most who have lived past the age of 50 or so. But the hippie sappiness came when I remembered that the only thing that gives life meaning is love.

I know, break out the Beatles records!

Work is tedium, boring and meaningless. I am just a worker bee, like countless millions of others, serving the machine, making the select few rich. Most of us work for the ‘machine’ which enslaves us with debt and never rewards us for being good or working hard at anything. It promises us if we behave and conform and do more then maybe we can be more. A promise that fails to deliver.

The only parts of my life that were not a continual grey are those times I experienced love. It is love that brings colour to our existence.

Being in love is like taking a deep breath of fresh spring air. You expand and grow. Love is the only thing worth living for.

If you focus on anything else, your world will become very small, you will contract into a very tight ball.

I once met the happiest man in the world. He drove a tow truck, worked in a garage, not much money, hard hard work, long hours. His life had a lot of drama. However, he positively beamed when he talked about his wife and kids. He told me then, a long time ago where I should put my heart. He had his priorities right. I should have listened.

Love is everything. Family. Friends.

All else is nothing.

Best Self Help

I checked out a self help book written by the son of an author I used to read a lot of, to see if he had anything new to say. I used to be the self help book Queen. I read them all.

Instead, it was a rehash of old principles that have circulated forever, and for the working masses, the majority of us, just don’t work.

Why?

Because self help is based on these lies: perfection is attainable, that we are defective, it is all our fault if things are not right, and we must do more, and more and more, work, work, work. There even might be some magic involved. And of course, spend lots of money to get help. Ugh.

Us drones are already on perpetual overwhelment. We don’t need to add more things to do to our days, to our brains. To be told we are faulty in some way and need to be corrected. This is too much like our bosses constantly beating us to improve, work harder, longer, so they get more and we get less. It is all a big, fat, lie.

There are not ten things you need to do every morning, another ten at night, and fifty more things to remember all the rest of the day with strategically placed sticky notes. Good grief!

We all need permission to do less. We all need to hear we are okay as we are. To have space and time that are ours only. Ours.

When have I experienced the most self improvement, the most inspiration, received wisdom and knowledge, answers, guidance? When I am still. When I sit outside and watch Mother Nature. When I’m not doing anything. When I can contemplate my life without harassment, judgement or hurry. Or to not think at all. Certainly not when I am being criticized, judged, brow beaten, shamed, guilted. If I feel I must work on faults that someone else says I have. That it is wrong to not be perfect. Yuck.

I don’t need another tyrannical boss in my life demanding I change to suit their needs. I am good enough as I am. Anything that needs fixing is God’s domain. If I am quiet with Him, not only do I get revelation, but I am changed, without post-it notes, affirmations, magic crystals or chanting. Or spending zillions of dollars on self help books, motivational seminars or products.

Remember this. There is a place for everyone. You do not have to be molded to fit a situation. You can shine where you are at, just as you are.

I am particularly distressed about a new trend that states you should think about work first thing in the morning so you are better prepared for your day. Stop it!! The mornings are the best time for quiet. The best time to do something for YOU and you only. Your time. Not your bosses! I cherish my morning time, there is no way my job or anyone can have that EVER. My job already steals all my joy and energy right through until the next morning. I bet for a lot of you, this is also true.

Best self help? Experience. Learn and grow from living. Do a lot of reading. Pay attention. Have fun. Work less at what you loathe.

Take a holiday, and don’t read any self help books when you do. They will make you crazy.

One Problem Twenty Problems

Why is it some things go bad right from the beginning and the harder you try to fix them, the badder they get.

At work we call it the ‘One Problem Twenty Problems’ syndrome.

The more urgent and important the thing is, the more likely we will encounter problems. But definitely, if it starts wrong it tends to spiral into madness, and the original one problem quickly becomes twenty new ones.

Eventually all gets solved, but it sure leaves some scars, and some lessons learned.

Some things are predictable – we just know it is going to go badly. Even then we seem powerless to stop what we know is coming.

It is a very strange phenomena.

It has been one of those weeks.