Tag: joy

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Debates

When I was young we had, what probably no one has heard of today, debating societies.

In school we would have contests to see which side could give the most convincing argument either for or against a certain topic or idea.

It gave us a chance to see important points on both sides of the street, as it were. These debates never, as far as I knew, caused trouble.

There were no murders or personal or cultural cancellations. It gave young people a chance to explore other opinions and ideas without fear. It made people think about issues and formulate their own opinions.

The debates never involved personal attack. No one was belittled or condemned for a point of view. It was all about facts and presentation. You might not be swayed by one point of view, but it made you think more clearly about issues.

To shake things up, a teacher would assign you, regardless of your personal opinions, to present a case often against what you believed in. This forced you to use your brain, to do research, and to see that often things are not as black and white as you previously thought.

This is what a good education is suppose to do – give you critical thinking and expand your mind.

Sadly missing today. Today, everything is about emotion. Just react to everything without a thought. It’s all about ME ME ME.

I’ve had all the emotion I can handle for a life time, thank you. Can we please just have interesting debates instead of out and out fury?

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Navel Fuzz

To believe your life is no longer worth living is one of the saddest things.

Life will throw a lot of things at you, but if you chose to give up the fight, you have lost an important truth.

Life is a gift. It is precious.

I know this appears to be a trite statement. But I have found that these words are on a much higher level than I realized.

You don’t need to have a purpose, or meaning to your life, I certainly don’t.

You don’t even have to make a significant contribution, or have much realized impact on the world around you. I never have.

It is not about your title or position or what people say and think about you. I’ve found no matter how hard I strive, most of my efforts are ignored. I’ve spent most of my life feeling unworthy of any good thing.

Yet. I. LOVE. LIFE.

It seems like a contradiction to write that, but it is true.

I don’t love all of it, there are things that I hate, detest and make me very angry.

But I consider it ALL to be a process of my life. The good, the bad and the ugly are what makes me, me. This is what life is. You are not special because you suffer, we all suffer. Grant it some more than others. Life is NOT fair, ever. Count your blessings when it is fair to you.

Being alive is a blessing given to you.

This sounds yawn worthy, but there is a deeper message in that. Take your nose out of your navel and look around. See the big picture instead of your own navel fuzz.

Before you become bitter about life, consider what is worth staying around for.

You’ll find it has nothing to do with you at all.

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Christmas

I love Christmas!

There is a spirit that sweeps up even the most hard hearted. It has nothing to do with what you believe or what religion you are. Joy is universal at this time of year.

I love everything about Christmas. I love all the glitter, the lights, everything sparkling and bright. I love the music. Even the sad music. Especially my squeaky attempts at I’ll Be Home for Christmas on the flute. I even love all of the commercialism because I see how abundant we are, how giving we are, and all the happiness that buying and giving and receiving brings. Our hearts are full at Christmas.

I love all the fruitcake and shortbread. Turkey and cranberry. Chocolates. Yule logs. Yep, I put on some poundage starting as soon as these things arrive in the store.

But of course I speak from a privileged place. I’m not rich, but I am okay.

Yes, I know, not all of us are so fortunate. I cannot make sense of why this is. This world has more than enough of everything for everybody. It is disheartening that our abundance gets bottlenecked by just the few greedy rich. Our whole social system needs an enormous overhaul. If only we could take the spirit of Christmas into our doings all year long and make better decisions. Banish greed and corrupt behaviour and with it, poverty and crime.

I believe joy could win with the right attitude in the right places. At least I found that to be true in my own life.

I am glad every year ends with Christmas. It reminds me of what I am grateful for, and why I want to live forever.

Christmas wipes out all the bad and gives me hope.

May it do the same for you, and everyone.

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Mozart

I indulged myself in several hours of Mozart.

It was the therapy I needed to get me in the right mood for Christmas.

There is something so joyful and playful, and yet soothing about Mozart. It is not heavy stuff, but neither is it fluff.

If only I could play the flute like that! Sounds that are so smooth and sometimes flirty.

I won’t ever get beyond Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, but I am amazed I can even play that!

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Stretch!

Today is a good day to stretch. Stretch the body, stretch the mind.

Just a little bit.

Cats do it all the time. They are on to something.

Your body would like to stand up once in a while.

Your brain might like a different kind of subject to read about.

Your feet might like to walk.

Your mind might like to try a rest with meditation or maybe to watch the birds fly by.

A change is as good as a rest, it need not be elaborate. Even a change of scene is good enough.

We all need to start airing ourselves out after a winter of good grief, holy shit, unbelievable crap that has been happening in our world.

A day of appreciating what we have and what we have for free, think about those things for a while.

And take a deep breath – that’s a good stretch for both body and mind.

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Getting Unstuck

I don’t like to make new years resolutions as I will quickly abandon my best intentions and then feel like a failure. Who needs that? I have plenty of opportunities to feel like a failure in my normal every day life. Mostly because I am doing a whole lot of shit I don’t like doing. New Years resolutions don’t usually involve fun, and that is why they don’t work. I already have enough of not fun in my life.

I suspect that many others have a lot of not fun too.

That is why so many determine to change their lives at this time of year.

But boy, life can sure try to keep you where you are at.

Why is that?

Despite our longing to be free, our supreme desire to be different, our yearning to follow our passions, we fail to get a breakthrough. It isn’t for lack of persistent trying. Many have pushed and pushed and come up empty. We never hear about the failures, only the success stories. I think hearing only one side of the equation makes people feel very very bad and sets them up for unrealistic expectations.

But I am definitely not saying don’t try, to give up before you even start, because you might be one of those success stories. At the very least, you will have learned something and got some valuable experiences. It is sad however, that most of us never get the lasting changes, the highs we want.

I know I often talk about failures, only because I think to fail is more realistic an outlook than success.

I do know that even when you do try, you still have regrets. I hate it when people say to me “Well, at least you tried. At least you did it”, implying that having just pursued a dream is good enough. It is not. Anyone who has pursued their dreams and failed know this. You still have regrets, maybe even more regrets because you failed. Your dreams are a big part of who you are, so they leave deep wounds. It touches your identity. It can make you lose hope.

The best advice I can give myself is to look for joy. Joy can be found anywhere in most everything. It can be extremely small and yet fill your heart with warmth. It may not change your world, but it will change the moment. If you can find joy in the moments it can help get you through all the rest of the shit you must endure to stay alive.

Getting unstuck from bad situations can take a long time, and I think we get disheartened because it takes so long. We are quick fix creatures, so we need a lot of Zen to make things happen.

I think you need to know what it is that you really want. Not the external stuff like houses, cars, money. But the inside deal – freedom, peace, love, that kind of stuff. If you know what it is you truly want, then maybe you can match your experiences to that, and find it, and keep it and change your world.

So don’t set any resolutions. Just try new stuff, new experiences and look for joy and endure another year. Maybe you are closer to success than you realize.

At least, that is what I keep telling myself.

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The Spirit of Christmas

Some people really lack all understanding of what Christmas means, and the spirit can’t even get close to them. Instead they gripe and complain about things I would consider awesome, like fancy meals, decorations, having friends and family visit, and most of all, presents.

I am shocked when I hear parents denying their children presents for their own selfish adult reasons. Reasons which translated to a child mean they are being punished for something. Children live in a world of reward and punishment on which their very survival depends. They always have to try to figure out which is what in order to be cared for. They don’t understand your adult shit .

Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, giving and receiving and eating way too much. It is to be a time of laughter and fun. What the fuck happened to that? Oh yeah, stupid adults.

Stupid adults on their own stupid agendas at a time of year when all agendas need to be cancelled, voided, nulled and thrown out! Oh we gave to the poor, or worse, make their children give up presents of their own for total strangers. Stop it!

I am not saying do not give to the poor – I am saying do both, stupid!

Show your children how they can do both too without punishing them. They will see your generosity, your Christmas spirit (hopefully all year long) and when they are adults themselves and understand that kind of shit, will follow suit. Show them by your actions, and don’t make them sacrifice their joy, their presents, what kind of shits are you? Miserable sots that you are, shame, double shame on you for being such miserable sots.

I am not saying you need to indulge every childish whim and desire, but for goodness sake, get them things that will make them squeal with delight. Things you have to wrap up and put under the tree – if you even can bring yourself to have a tree. Make Christmas happen people – for your children at least. Maybe even you might find some delight in it.

Also, the worst Christmas thing I ever witnessed was when my Mother and I went out for a fancy Christmas dinner at a restaurant, and next to us was a man and his young daughter. She was maybe 4 or 5 and was holding her toy bunny and listening to this asshole father explain to her that Mom and Dad were no longer going to be together and she would have to now visit them separately. Kept asking her if she understood this. Of course not you moron. She’s a little girl with her toy rabbit! And it’s fucking Christmas dick! Shame on you! Adults are miserable, selfish sots!

I am so glad I had the parents I did, and had Christmas that was full of presents, joy, and laughter without conditions and things I would never have understood in a million years. Thank God that although things were not perfect, my parents made the effort to make our lives worth living and never ever made us try to live in an adult world before our time. They let us be kids.

Amen to that!

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Christmas Spirit

It started happening a couple of weeks ago, that feeling of joy in the air. People are becoming more friendly, grateful and cheerful. Ah, the Christmas spirit. No one is immune to it.

A heaviness is lifted, scowls are turned to smiles, impatience with enduring, and forgiveness instead of fault finding.

After a year of our leaders nit picking, outrageous crimes and blatant lies, and worst of all name calling, smear campaigns and all sorts of juvenile, reprehensible, disgusting, vile behaviour, the Christmas spirit is a most welcome reprieve.

I was most impressed with Tom Hanks starting a trend of tweeting good things said, I hope that continues. We need to have fresh air. The antics of our leaders have made everything stale and most foul. I am heartily tired of it.

It seems as if avarice has infiltrated every sector of society. I am so disheartened to learn just how far these tentacles have reached, into everything and anything that might make someone rich, famous and powerful. I am sickened that many support this, especially women. Ugh.

I have nothing against being rich, famous and powerful – only the means by which this is attained, and the aftermath of it, how it is used. From what I’ve seen, I’m not greatly encouraged. Not more cars, telephones and f’in rocketship space junk puhleese!

However, Christmas is coming and with it, the joy I see in peoples faces. The weariness of day to day living is lifting and we are remembering what life should be all about.

As an aside, I am also very happy to see a resurgence of the craft industry, people making things, taking up knitting and stuff. Seeing people make things that have value and meaning and are fun! I was excited to see that toy trains are experiencing a renewal.

As I am rambling in this blog (and it is my blog to ramble in) what I would absolutely love to have is my own workshop, replete with lathes, drill press, scroll saw and lots of tools so I can make stuff like I used to in my Dad’s workshop.

I guess at Christmas I revert back to my childhood when life was a whole lot more creative and fun than it is now.

But, I have the Christmas spirit and I am happy.

Bring on the fruit cake, yule logs, shortbread cookies and lots of smiles!

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Plants

“It’s a jungle in here!”

I smiled, yes I do like plants. I signed the courier form and handed it back to him. The delivery man took a step back, then leaned forward, “I really like your apartment, I love plants!”

At the time I had a lot more plants than now, I was younger then. Over the years I’ve gradually reduced the number of my green friends, but I still couldn’t imagine not having any.

I’ve always had a dim view of people who do not like plants or animals. I like to surround myself with life.

My working and living spaces have always been like greenhouses. Plants are my meditation. Whenever I need a break I just sit and look at them. They are so still and yet so alive.

Unfortunately, once I was forced to get rid of all my plants at an office when a new Executive Director arrived. She also had our beautiful rooftop garden destroyed that volunteers and staff so lovingly tended. What kind of person does this? It broke a lot of hearts.

Of course my cat also likes plants, but for different reasons. He does fancy himself to be a jungle cat and hides in the foliage. What can be closer to heaven than sleeping in the dappled sunlight among plants and flowers, or nibbling on some fresh shoots of grass?

I need not get scientific to expound all the benefits of having plants in your environment. There is plenty of literature on that. For me, the benefit is joy. And joy is the only thing worth having.

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Best Self Help

I checked out a self help book written by the son of an author I used to read a lot of, to see if he had anything new to say. I used to be the self help book Queen. I read them all.

Instead, it was a rehash of old principles that have circulated forever, and for the working masses, the majority of us, just don’t work.

Why?

Because self help is based on these lies: perfection is attainable, that we are defective, it is all our fault if things are not right, and we must do more, and more and more, work, work, work. There even might be some magic involved. And of course, spend lots of money to get help. Ugh.

Us drones are already on perpetual overwhelment. We don’t need to add more things to do to our days, to our brains. To be told we are faulty in some way and need to be corrected. This is too much like our bosses constantly beating us to improve, work harder, longer, so they get more and we get less. It is all a big, fat, lie.

There are not ten things you need to do every morning, another ten at night, and fifty more things to remember all the rest of the day with strategically placed sticky notes. Good grief!

We all need permission to do less. We all need to hear we are okay as we are. To have space and time that are ours only. Ours.

When have I experienced the most self improvement, the most inspiration, received wisdom and knowledge, answers, guidance? When I am still. When I sit outside and watch Mother Nature. When I’m not doing anything. When I can contemplate my life without harassment, judgement or hurry. Or to not think at all. Certainly not when I am being criticized, judged, brow beaten, shamed, guilted. If I feel I must work on faults that someone else says I have. That it is wrong to not be perfect. Yuck.

I don’t need another tyrannical boss in my life demanding I change to suit their needs. I am good enough as I am. Anything that needs fixing is God’s domain. If I am quiet with Him, not only do I get revelation, but I am changed, without post-it notes, affirmations, magic crystals or chanting. Or spending zillions of dollars on self help books, motivational seminars or products.

Remember this. There is a place for everyone. You do not have to be molded to fit a situation. You can shine where you are at, just as you are.

I am particularly distressed about a new trend that states you should think about work first thing in the morning so you are better prepared for your day. Stop it!! The mornings are the best time for quiet. The best time to do something for YOU and you only. Your time. Not your bosses! I cherish my morning time, there is no way my job or anyone can have that EVER. My job already steals all my joy and energy right through until the next morning. I bet for a lot of you, this is also true.

Best self help? Experience. Learn and grow from living. Do a lot of reading. Pay attention. Have fun. Work less at what you loathe.

Take a holiday, and don’t read any self help books when you do. They will make you crazy.