Tag: injury

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Crutches

Over the 2020 Christmas holidays I sprained my foot and had to dust off some crutches I got several years ago. Many times I thought I should get rid of those crutches, but was awfully glad I hadn’t.

It was a memorable Christmas, as was most of 2020, not in a totally good way, as my bathtub was also backed up from December 22nd into the New Year, as no one wants to come and deal with that during the holidays. Sigh. So I took a shower and afterwards, sat on the toilet and bailed my bath water from tub to sink. Picture that.

2020 had it all man.

Anyhow.

As I hobbled around my house, I remembered my ill fated introduction to these crutches.

They are beautiful, extremely light weight aluminum, as light as a feather. But crutches, I have discovered, could weigh 500 pounds, because it is not so much the weight of them to consider, as the effort required to use them to propel yourself.

In my infinite wisdom, I decided to use them one day at work, replacing the cane I normally employ for a hurt leg. Typical me, whatever works in a small situation is bound to work in a grander circumstance. So just shuffling from my office chair to the bathroom a couple of times convinced me I could do greater things.

I launched myself to the library at lunch, because when I was well I had no trouble going the few blocks there, a mere 5 to 10 minute walk. I swung merrily along like those mechanical monkeys on bars I’d seen as a kid.

When I got to the library, I had one of those moments where I was sure I was about to die.

I collapsed on the nearest bench in the foyer, sweat bursting from my every pore, my heart pounding like tribal drums. I desperately needed to lie down on the floor and wanted to moan, loudly, like those professional wailers at funerals. All I could do was put my face in my hands and cry.

Using crutches demands that you be in some kind of decent physical shape before you try to go miles with them. The physical exertion is unbelievable!

At least I forgot about my hurt leg for a while.

And, I still had to go back to work. How the hell was I going to carry library books anyhow? Duh! I was just so enthusiastic about going to the place I love.

I opted to drag my poor leg back to the office and carry the darn crutches.

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Pat Ltd.

Well, it finally happened.

That sore knee I’ve been experiencing since last summer locked solid at the worst possible time.  Our office was being renovated and that entailed a lot of heavy lifting, moving, cleaning and leg bending, only my leg wouldn’t bend.  At all.  And, oh, was it painful!

X-rays revealed nothing, so I dragged my leg, literally, to a physiotherapist.  Without going into details, in an hour I was walking and bending my knee.  Following his exercise instructions I am now 70% better in only 3 weeks.

The whole point of this story is not that I am stubborn, loathe going to doctors, and would like a bit of sympathy (although it is all true). I discovered something new about my favourite subject – taking action.  I harp on this topic and yet am so obviously guilty of not doing it at times, or at least, not doing the right action.

There is never any absolute certainty as to what is the right action to take until after the fact. Hindsight is always 20/20.

Some things call loudly for no action, let sleeping dogs lie, as it were.  I pretty much know when that happens, although sometimes I can’t stop myself.

My knee reminded me that I am guilty of assumptions and errors in judgement, and I have false, unfounded limiting beliefs.  Heavy stuff.  And, oh yeah, I’m just a human.

I accepted an unacceptable situation and did not take action because:

  • I’m getting old
  • This is normal for my age
  • I am paying for all the running, cycling, ballet, gymnastics etc. I did in my youth (and all other unmentionable, but fun activities)
  • I am gradually just going to totally seize up
  • I’ll never be able to do physical things again
  • Physiotherapists are not real doctors and can’t help me

Wrong on all counts!  Turns out my ‘real’ doctor had not a clue what was wrong with me, except to suggest physiotherapy.  The sports medicine Physiotherapist took one look at me, knew exactly what it was and how to fix.  There was some yelling involved.

I am grateful for the painful experience.

I did not realize I had so many limiting beliefs until they were tested.  Not only can I now walk, use stairs, and have graduated from the school of funny walks, but all the things I used to enjoy are once again, possibilities.  Sometimes it is good to be wrong about stuff.

When I get discouraged I can read about this experience and perhaps challenge myself to discover and overcome newly revealed limiting beliefs.  That is, take action.

Or not.

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Aging GraceLESSly

Someone is trotting down the stairs behind me.  Footsteps rapidly grow louder and gain momentum until the owner sweeps past the landing and encounters me.

“Oh” a young man pops out earbuds and looks at my feet “Can I help you?”

“I’m just slow” I reassure him “I have a sore knee”

He looks concerned but never looks me in the eye.  “Really, go ahead” I touch his arm which brings his eyes to mine.  I give him my best smile ever.

“Okay” he pushes his ear buds back in.  The first few steps away he hesitates, then he dances away.  I spend the next ten minutes navigating a one minute stairway.

I forgot I can’t do stairs for a while yet. I hurt my knee several weeks ago and it doesn’t like to bend anymore.

It makes me feel very old to be inflexible, it always did.  But now injuries take a long time to heal.

Of course this current injury is my doing.  It comes from a common fault of getting older.  Your brain and your body do not agree on your age.  The brain says I’m 19! Whoopee!  The body says nothing at first, but shows you your real age very shortly after.

When I was young the mind ruled.  My body followed.  I could bounce back from most of my punishments in record time.  If I wanted to lose weight it only took several trips to the gym, or a good run.

Now the body rules and the mind, well, is just stupid about this change in power and wisdom of the body.  It does not understand age – what is age?

We wage war with this.  We try to defeat age.  But age is not a phase you are going through or a disease that you get better from with the right exercise and diet.  There is no battle to fight.  Age is a process.  It is Mother Nature.

Science and consumerism give us promises of renewed youth; perfect eyesight, dancing until dawn, or sex all weekend, with chemicals and surgery.  We come from the Star Trek generation where lasers can fix anything or, simply make you vanish.

Not to say some of this isn’t useful.  But once you have your twentieth birthday you cannot go back.  Ever.  In any way.

Thank God.

I would not ever want to go back to those emotional years.  Things are SO much better emotionally. I will probably blab about that later.

It is good of course to be physically fit and as healthy as you can be.  You cannot let yourself go to seed at any age, this just adds problems and takes away the ability to have a good quality of life (and later on, you will pay).  But it is going to take a lot more effort after 50.  You’re gonna be tired.

I still have a lot to learn, but I do get this.  Slow – exercises must be done slowly and carefully until I am back in shape.  Consistency – No more run once in a while.  Exercise has to be daily to maintain a certain level.

For now, I try to find elevators.