System is Broken

Prime Minister Trudeau said it, “The system is broken and the world is in crisis. Things are about to get much worse unless we change.”

Everything.

The corona virus has brought all that is wrong with our world right out front and center.

But let me just talk about work.

The way we work, is not working.

If the governments and corporations and every place in between say workers will get lazy and not work if we give them a basic income, something is horribly wrong. If they also say, if workers get paid sick leave they will take more leave, then something is wrong with our thinking. The problem is not people, the workers, the problem is deeply hidden in our way of doing things, in our perception of how things ought to be. There is something wrong with our employment if we don’t want to work, because people like to be productive and have value. We like to buy things and contribute to society. We like to have a good quality of life. The problem is with the system, of how we are made to work, and of the values there.

We are forcing humans to behave in non-human ways. Think about it. If we were working in a way that meshed with who we are, we would not be miserable. If we worked where our needs are being met, we would not be miserable. There are people who have accomplished this, and the ones who have, guess what, are the ones who are helping one another, who are cleaning up the environment, who are finding ways to improve our lives without cost to our planet or to their and our well being. People who are creative, who bring beauty to our world. People who are finding solutions. People who care about one another, where we live and the future.

People who do what they love are happy. They tend not to exploit others or our home.

Think about this. The people who sell us stuff often cannot afford to buy that stuff themselves. Nor can they afford the services they provide us with.

There are grocery clerks who can’t buy the very food they sell.

I worked for an optometrist and I could not easily afford the services we provided. It would cost me over two weeks salary to have an exam, tests and get glasses.

I once worked for a high end department store where I had to have one of their credit cards and buy a certain amount of items, and type of items in order to continue my employment. Items I could neither afford nor want, while being paid minimum wage and having to work whenever they determined. One of my fellow employees was already $70,000 in debt! And the worst part was, the company fully admitted that this is how they made their profits, from interest on credit card debt. So much so, they didn’t even worry about the tens of thousands of dollars they lost in theft each year! Theft not from employees, because we were instructed to watch each other and report on each other and there were cameras over every cash register, and not elsewhere in the store. Ask yourself some questions about this set up.

Doesn’t this spell misery?

Employees are monitored in ways that are not unlike a communist regime, or at the very least treated like irresponsible children. If employers think employees are just waiting to rip them off, ask yourself WHY would they be thinking that way? Is it perhaps because employers are ripping them off, or mistreating them? It is not a normal way for people to think or be. We do not normally wish other people misfortune unless we are made to stoop that low, because we are being taken advantage of or mistreated. If we are abused long enough we end up hurting others. This is not who we are. We are social animals who care about things. God said we are stewards and we are. Something has gone amiss.

We have a system called slavery.

This is how people are enslaved. Not paid enough to live on and kept forever in debt.

Something is wrong with this, don’t you think? The system is not in synch with who we are. It is forcing us to behave in ways against our nature. To work beyond our mental and physical capabilities. To be unable to help others because we can’t even help ourselves. To have to choose between eating, our life saving medications or having a roof over our heads. To have someone else control our life completely, whether we live or die.

If you read about how populations are forced to make a state (James C. Scott) you will see that these are extremely unstable entities that cause enormous amounts of suffering to benefit the few. And it is not, in my opinion, a natural way for people to be. I don’t think that most of us condone slavery, pollution, corruption. I think we embrace altruism, and we are being taught this is wrong. We are being educated to think socialism is wrong. Why? People don’t even know what it is but condemn it.

Just asking you to think about this.

If you look at situations where people are allowed to be themselves, you will see them do heroic acts of kindness and self sacrifice. Sure, there are exceptions, but in most cases I think you will see people embrace their true nature of kindness and caring when called upon to do so. We are always looking for ways to help others. We like to give more than receive.

We need to overhaul our work life to properly reflect the values that people are born with.

Along with virtually everything else in this world that man has touched.

Small Things

In my working, pre-covid days, each morning I would encounter the same people and have a brief chat before I caught the bus. A man waiting in the lobby for his ParaTranspo pick up, the man walking his big dog, the pony tailed young woman returning from her run, the retired bus driver out for his morning walk, the woman playing fetch with her corgi.

All these encounters and more, that I took for granted were a pleasant start to my day. If I didn’t see one of them, I would wonder about their welfare and ask the next time I saw them. Likewise they often enquired about me.

After several months away from this, I do miss it. I don’t go out very much, due to bad legs, a condition and age that ups my covid risk, and of course, I am now unemployed.

How greatly, in small ways, our lives can change in an instant.

Even when they told us to close our office in March, we never foresaw this. We thought, oh, a couple of weeks and all will return to normal. We had no idea.

It isn’t just the big things that changed, like quitting my job of 15 years, but all the little things, like my daily routines and encounters that I didn’t pay much attention to.

I don’t long for the past by any means. I am still processing the shock of huge changes, adjusting to a new way of life I was not prepared for.

In a strange way however, not being ready has made this a grand adventure, where I have no idea of what the future holds. In the past, whenever I have made big changes I spent a long time planning and working them out. I am not a risk taker. This time, I had no plans, only vague ideas of what I might do with lots of time. And I certainly did not envision the changes in the daily small things.

Making this a grand adventure, from my own self inflicted house arrest keeps me from freaking out.

Things Are Not What They Seem

A bad scenario would be quitting your job without any idea of what to do next. But just as bad is knowing exactly what you want to do, and then weeks into it realize, nah, that’s not it.

I was doing what I loved while working, but in such small hard won amounts that I thought it would be fabulous to have all day to do whatever I enjoy. And I have many interests.

I had several dreams on the shelf. For decades I longed to make them real. At last, shake off the dust and let’s get rolling!

Well, that lasted a short while.

It’s not that I stopped wanting or enjoying what I do.

It’s. Just. Not. Quite. It.

This feels as frustrating as having a sink full of dirty dishes. You know you got to tackle it, but lack the energy.

Not that EVER, in a million, zillion, kabillion years would I ever go back to the job I left. I am so happy to be out of there!

I guess I waited too long to do my dreams and they changed and I didn’t notice. Maybe there is a better version of my dreams waiting to be realized and I just need to stay open to it.

Things are not what they seem.

Pay Your Employees

Once again, the uber rich 1% look for new and clever ways to rip off their employees. The very same employees who work hard to keep these bastards rich.

So they announce that employees who work remotely should be compensated according to where they work. The more expensive the area the more pay (which I severely doubt would ever happen anyways).

Where a person works has got NOTHING to do with what you pay.

You pay a person for the work they do. If a job is worth $50 an hour, you pay them $50 an hour, whether they live on the Arctic circle or downtown San Francisco.

I have seen this argued before based on a persons age, race, gender.

NO.

You pay a person what the job is worth.

And if you have a very valuable employee, you pay them MORE.

You cheap bastards.

No one ever paid me more because my rent was high! HA! HA!

But I have been paid less because I am single. I have been paid less because I am a woman.

I get paid nothing now, because I am a senior.

Silence

There is a lot of silence after quitting 15 years of work.

Good silence.

The kind of silence that gets in your head and makes you see the truth so plainly, that it is like a slap to the face, or a left hook.

That kind of reality check, that kind of clarity takes a lot of the fear away. It allows you to move past the past and into a brand new future.

Forced isolation, thanks to Covid-19 and lots of jobless time have made me see exactly what those 15 years were.

Nothing more than a puff of smoke, if even that.

Eckhart Tolle said our lives are like a dash on our tombstone. The only notable points are the date of birth, and the date of death. All that happened in between is summed up with a dash.

So to with my 15 years. June 2005 – June 2020. Ha! Ha!

This all sounds a bit depressing, but actually it is quite freeing. There is no longer any weight or meaning to those 15 years. There is nothing holding me anymore. I am untethered.

Some things try to pull me back, but I no longer have those heavy feelings of responsibility. It was a false responsibility to begin with. I was a fiercely loyal and caring employee, to a fault. This was never valued or appreciated, and that is okay. No regrets.

In truth, I believe that if I had of been the real me, then I would have been valued and appreciated. I wish I could have been more of a free spirit then.

I can now.

I am now.

No Plan, Much Guilt

There is never a perfect time, but, arguably, some times are better than others to quit your job.

Like a few other departures in my life, (ahem) this lacked a plan. It was something I might do someday, way off in the future. You know, when things are perfect for leaving. Never mind how much suffering is going on in the meantime. Life fortunately, did had a plan. So, suddenly, here I am, happily, yet fearfully, unemployed.

If you are lucky, and paying attention, you can make a plan to leave your work, your lover, spouse, parents, whatever, but I suspect a lot of the time it just happens. The moment suddenly appears. A window of opportunity opens up and you duck out. Or you reach a limit, a line gets crossed and you’re outta here!

Only much later you may realize how much you wanted out. Unconsciously, we have had enough.

I just reread the story The Book of Eve (Constance Beresford-Howe), where the woman leaves her husband, no plan, no nothing, one day she hurriedly packs a few things and just walks out. She learns to live and love again. It was interesting how this not only benefited her, but many other people too. There are many great messages here.

So even when it looks like a big mistake, it isn’t. If your heart is in it, then you’ve done the right thing. Everything logical may tell you that you are a fucking idiot, but your heart just sits back, sips a margarita and chills. It’ll all work out. God will use whatever road you are on.

I feel immense guilt for writing about my decision to quit at this time, because many people had no choice, it was swift and without mercy, and now all their money is gone and they are facing enormous hardship.

I am very fortunate to have been able to make a choice and I realize that. So many others have been left destitute because of Covid-19. So I do know that although this pandemic forced me to make the change I longed to make I am extremely lucky.

At least, until my savings run out too. And, they will.

I may develop a taste for cat food.

You Are Here

Remember the good old days when we went to shopping malls?

There would be, somewhere in the facility, after a lengthy search of going in circles until exhausted with no place to sit, a directory, and it would say “You are Here.”

You’d look at that map and wonder where the fuck you are. It would then take a half hour of titling your head from side to side, to practically doing a headstand to figure out where here is. Once you did establish it, you’d spend another half hour trying to find the store you want, then orientating yourself as to, do you go right, left, up, down, back where you came from? Or worse, discovering the store is no longer. Get us to the food court please, surely to God there will be some much needed bathrooms there!

Airport directories are way worse.

Welcome to the abyss. This is where I am now. At that infamous directory saying “You are Here”. Only in the abyss, there is just sky, clouds, the odd bird. I don’t want to look down. It might give me an idea of how far up I am, and, hmm, is that ground getting closer?

I am referring of course to my recent decision to quit a 15 year soul sucking job.

It was a huge leap into the abyss, especially during a pandemic, into a future unknown. However, I will tell you this, it is way better to have a future unknown than the future known. The future that repeats the past, day in and day out of misery and predictable boredom.

So even if the ground is fast approaching, maybe I’ll figure out where here is and where I can go before the final splat.

Good Timing

When would be the worst possible time to quit your job.

Let’s see:

When there is a global pandemic.

When the world is facing a global economic depression never seen before.

When tens of millions of people are unemployed.

When you are a senior.

When you are in debt.

Hmmm.

Okay.

I quit.

Yep, I quit my job.

And I did exactly the right thing.

I suspect a lot of other people have too.

I have had to face my reality head on while at home. I’ve been forced to reassess my life. Away from the office I was outside of my situation and problems, enabling me to see with a new perspective and a fresh outlook. When you are in the problem, you cannot see clearly.

And at the worst possible moment in all of history, I make a life changing decision. To make my life, my own.

Here we go!

Just Do It.

Covid is not a political hoax.

It is a disease. A highly infectious disease.

It only knows how to infect, disable and kill.

It is blindly objective.

So for God’s sake wear a mask when you go out.

Do it for love, of yourself, others and all of the world.

Get a new understanding. It doesn’t care anything about you, your beliefs, your country, your history. This is a global pandemic. GLOBAL. Think about it.

We can debate and discuss and accuse and whatever later. None of that matters now.

What matters is what you do. Are you going to be part of the problem? Or part of the solution?

Do your part. Social distancing. Wear a mask. Wash your hands.

Simple.

It won’t be forever. Just a short while out of your whole entire life. Months out of decades. And you want your whole entire life to be many more years, do you not?

There are no guarantees that you will be safe, but we can greatly reduce our chances of getting and spreading this disease if we follow protocol. We can put the odds in our favour of staying healthy. Just do it.

Whine, Whine, Whine

Okay, I have to get this off my chest.

I am SO sick of trump whining, whining, whining. Poor little baby. Mistreated by the press (he gets what he deserves), misunderstood, whining about hoaxes, conspiracy theories. Everybody out to get him. No one gives him the respect and credit he deserves. The boy fucking genius who thinks shooting up lysol can cure a disease. Someone stick a soother in his mouth to shut him up. Oh, he is so hard done by. Poor, poor little baby. Time to change your diapers little baby.

Tweeting racism and hatred and misogyny. Insulting and bashing and belittling good people. Revering criminals and dictators. Crying, crying, crying all the fucking time. That is all he does is cry and whine. Oh, and in between plays a round of golf.

Worries about his ratings while thousands of people die. Points the finger at anyone and everyone that they are all to blame for his messes.

Won’t take any responsibility for being the leader.

He is just like a very bad boss. This is not your company, idiot. This is your country. The Government is not a corporation. Each state is not a franchise that you can close down because someone hurt your feelings. Oh boo hoo. No PPE for you!

He is a toddler that has tantrums because he doesn’t get his way.

What a whimp.

It is Mother’s day. Momma come and get this spoiled brat. We need a leader!

Is there a MAN in the house? Better yet, we need a WOMAN.