Category: Environment

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Casts

Writing about my adventure with crutches, reminded me of an adventure with casts. A cat in a cast that is.

We had a tabby cat, one of many while I was growing up, and in those days, pets were free to explore the neighborhood and do whatever they pleased. Occasionally a dog might get loose too. No one was upset about it, usually.

Anyhow, our cat had an unfortunate encounter with a dog. Fortunately my Mom saw it and saved the cat. But the dog had broken the cats hind leg.

My Mom was only 4 feet 5 inches tall, but man, you did not mess with her. And when she wanted something, you were going to comply, or die.

The cat sported a cast for a long while, which kept us awake at nights. As we all know, cats love to torture their owners (they have a diabolical streak) and he would run up and down the stairs and across the kitchen floor, all night long. Thump, thump, thumpety, thump!

Now, back to Mom. She wasted no time finding out whose dog that was that committed this crime and the owners were going to pay the vet bill. And get a piece of her mind too.

The dog belonged to a world famous photographer that lived by the river near us.

With me in tow, we marched straight over there.

The woman, I presume it was the photographers wife, tried very, very hard not to part with any money for any vet bill. At first she invited us into her home and immediately regretted it, as Mom was not going to take any shit from her!

It was an awesome home. I’ll admit that.

I don’t know if Mom got the money but the cat got better. Eventually we all got some sleep.

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Crutches

Over the 2020 Christmas holidays I sprained my foot and had to dust off some crutches I got several years ago. Many times I thought I should get rid of those crutches, but was awfully glad I hadn’t.

It was a memorable Christmas, as was most of 2020, not in a totally good way, as my bathtub was also backed up from December 22nd into the New Year, as no one wants to come and deal with that during the holidays. Sigh. So I took a shower and afterwards, sat on the toilet and bailed my bath water from tub to sink. Picture that.

2020 had it all man.

Anyhow.

As I hobbled around my house, I remembered my ill fated introduction to these crutches.

They are beautiful, extremely light weight aluminum, as light as a feather. But crutches, I have discovered, could weigh 500 pounds, because it is not so much the weight of them to consider, as the effort required to use them to propel yourself.

In my infinite wisdom, I decided to use them one day at work, replacing the cane I normally employ for a hurt leg. Typical me, whatever works in a small situation is bound to work in a grander circumstance. So just shuffling from my office chair to the bathroom a couple of times convinced me I could do greater things.

I launched myself to the library at lunch, because when I was well I had no trouble going the few blocks there, a mere 5 to 10 minute walk. I swung merrily along like those mechanical monkeys on bars I’d seen as a kid.

When I got to the library, I had one of those moments where I was sure I was about to die.

I collapsed on the nearest bench in the foyer, sweat bursting from my every pore, my heart pounding like tribal drums. I desperately needed to lie down on the floor and wanted to moan, loudly, like those professional wailers at funerals. All I could do was put my face in my hands and cry.

Using crutches demands that you be in some kind of decent physical shape before you try to go miles with them. The physical exertion is unbelievable!

At least I forgot about my hurt leg for a while.

And, I still had to go back to work. How the hell was I going to carry library books anyhow? Duh! I was just so enthusiastic about going to the place I love.

I opted to drag my poor leg back to the office and carry the darn crutches.

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Bare Face

It has now been 10 months since I’ve worn makeup.

Not that I miss it.

When I was young, I wore makeup to enhance my looks. When I was older, I wore it to cover up my looks.

But now, who cares.

I’ve been out of work since we closed the office in mid March 2020, so I put away the mascara and blush and concealer and whatnot.

No more poisons on my face. Just look at the ingredients in those things! I tried at one time to make my own cosmetics from natural stuff and failed miserably.

My cat could care less what I look like, as long as the food dish is full and the litter box pooh free.

I have no idea how to do skype or zoom so no worries about what I look like. And I’m a senior, no matter what you plaster on my face. I don’t get asked for ID at the store on Seniors day. Mascara, concealer and blush ain’t gonna fool them 20 somethings at the cash.

Makeup won’t catch me a 20 year old for a fling. It’d kill me anyways.

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Oh Danny Boy!

I am teaching myself to play piano and am now learning the song Danny Boy, and it instantly reminded me of a incident that was quite hilarious. Whenever I play or hear this song, I have a partner in my head. An old lady at the library.

At lunch when I was working, I would often go to the library. I usually had quite a few books on hold to pick up and an equal amount to return.

One day as I entered the library I spotted a woman I used to know from a previous job at a senior’s center. She had been a member there.

So I approached her to say hello.

It was noon, so the library entrance was filled with patrons and staff.

This lady remembered me, I think, but she had other things on her mind. She asked me if I knew where she could get the lyrics and music score for the song Danny Boy. I pointed to the information desk and suggested she ask them.

She grabbed my arm and said, “Do you know the song Danny Boy?”

Before I could say a word, she launched into singing Danny Boy, at the top of her lungs to a very surprised crowd and a very shocked me.

Everyone stopped what they were doing. I think time stopped. She dug her fingers into my arm so I could not escape.

There were baffled looks. Amused looks. Angry looks. So many looks directed at us.

She sang the WHOLE damn song, full blast, TWICE.

And then she just walked away from me, my bruised arm and audience like it never happened.

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Iron Steam

Because my Dad was an Engineer, inventor, handy man and all round creative person, we often had some interesting things in our home.

We had a basement that was really a workshop, an inventors palace. Oh, how I miss that!

One item housed there was a white metal monster, an iron steam roller. Not the kind to flatten your laneway. This flattened your clothes. It was a steam press. It was BIG.

Isn’t it strangely comforting that such weird things as an unwieldly machine can evoke such sweet memories of our youth and home?

It was awesome.

I loved using that machine. I hate ironing, so this thing was a teenagers dream (in those days pressed clothes were a BIG deal), My Mom pressed everything however, and that was a bit overwhelming. Like me, many of my childhood friends had mothers who ironed their underware, some even their shoelaces! Well, my Mom just ran them through the white behemoth in the basement while others slaved and sweated over hot irons.

These beasts still exist, and work! If I were ever to take up domestic engineering (no future plans for that!) I would get a modern steam press. But there is something wonderful lost in the new ones. I’d miss the big cotton cloth roller, the gleaming metal press, those long metal bars to hang your clothes on. The joy of seeing your clothes disappear under the steel cover as they were rolled away to reappear underneath all beautifully pressed.

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One Thing

2020 has been a hell of a year.

But one thing will not change.

The Christmas spirit.

Even though we cannot be together this year to celebrate and spend too much and eat too much, the spirit of Christmas remains. It is not dependent on religion, commercialism, the date or even the cat. It comes from our hearts and it never fails. Well, maybe the cat too.

I started to get the Christmas spirit a few weeks ago, and it wasn’t because the stores are playing Christmas music and have special holiday themed gifts to buy. It isn’t because of lawn ornaments and decorations and lights. I am quite sure I could be in the middle of nowhere and still experience this wonderful feeling.

Thank God I have it, because the rest of the year wreaked havoc on us all.

A little bit of table top Christmas cheer.

The tree top star was appropriately absconded by cat. Perfect ending for 2020.

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In Praise of Farts

You can count on one thing when you get old; your farts will not be contained.

They will be heard, and heard loudly. They will smell, and smell badly. They love to have an audience, are sneaky, and can guarantee you will have plenty of space in Aisle 13 at Walmart.

I praise farts because they feel so good. Why some of our less desirable bodily functions feel so good I do not know, but they do. And why humans have to be so noisy and smelly is a mystery, but some animals can out do us on both counts. All animals react the same way to encountering a fart as humans; pleasure for the farter, disgust from the rest of us.

My cat Sam doesn’t fart. He fluffs. Cats are dignified about such matters.

Farts are like having a trumpet at your rear end. They are smelly music. They make us laugh and cry.

So I will end this shitty year with a signature fart, it is befitting for all the crap we’ve endured in 2020.

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Bug on My Shoe

While out for a walk, this fellow hitched a ride on my shoe for a spell, so I gently escorted him to finer places; to a bit of grass and shade on a beautiful fall day.

These bugs have been plentiful this autumn, out on my balcony sunning themselves. They lumber around at a leisurely pace, and seem to have some difficulty flying, but once they are air borne manage quite well.

I believe they are Assassin Bugs. My biology education fails me, but it doesn’t matter. I’d rather not know to tell the truth. I prefer things to be a mystery. Once you name them and find out about them they lose some appeal. Especially when you discover their not so nice qualities.

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On the Beach

I was reminded of an incident that happened so long ago I am not sure if it happened where I think it happened, but does that matter? Nope.

This is one of my favourite pictures of Mom and I, from who knows when, certainly when I was a lot younger. A lot younger.

However, I do remember it was taken at the New Jersey Boardwalk. We were visiting my very generous brother, who was always giving us vacations to places in the United States. I am very grateful. Thank you!

Apart from the fabulous salt water taffy, the million and one things to see and do at the Jersey shore, there is, of course, the ocean.

I am a certified water baby, so my main delight is in H2O, thus I liked to be near the ocean or in it. I can’t remember if this was my first encounter with the ocean, not my last for sure.

I think it was here that I was wandering along the edge of the water, ankle deep, and then gradually, got more interested in going deeper, and deeper and . . .

I got sucked up by a wave that was quite a bit bigger than myself, and pulled under. I got caught in the undertow and violently spun over like a jelly roll and spit out, like some bad tasting fish, hurled up on the beach, and deposited, while absolutely no one took notice. In fact, people walked around me, quite possibly, even over me.

I was quite battered and it took days to expel all the salt out of my ears, and elsewhere.

I was admonished to turn into the next wave that over powered me, but to tell the truth, I never went back in the ocean again. I’ll walk on the beach, maybe get my toes wet. That is enough.

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Sigh of Relief

For the past 4 years we have been brutally reminded, on a daily basis, of all that is wrong with us and our world. It has been exhaustive, as someone said, like living with an abusive partner. Today we feel tremendous relief having that burden lifted, being freed from oppression and tyranny.

I am talking of course about the authoritarian rule of trump.

On a personal level, this era has exposed the darkness of my own heart. My prejudices, bigotry, narrow mindedness, false beliefs all laid bare. The search for truth in a world awash in lies has changed my perceptions and opinions.

I am grateful.

I hope others have had a similar experience. They have searched themselves and made changes.

I’ve escaped abusive relationships and situations. Narrowly sometimes. Life threatening other times. I’ve been trapped in a cult like relationship to a cruel trump like boss. Each time my heart has opened a bit wider, my understanding expands. My compassion grows. Wisdom replaces folly.

But I was never fully attuned to global afflictions before trump. My small world of introspection is replaced with a global perspective, realizing that my own personal experiences are also a global one. Often the difference is only a matter of scale.

At the end of this reign of terror, what I find most surprising is what was hidden. The entire world has been holding its breath these 4 years. Where we expected widespread violence from trump supporters, we instead find celebration by the oppressed. It proves to me that good outweighs the bad and this gives me hope.

Just as trump unleashed all the crazies in the entire world, giving them riotous license to pillage, destroy, kill and maim, we now see a global about face and dictators and their minions are being called out.

At the forefront of this is the undeniable fact that the USA influences, often determines, what happens to the rest of the world. This is heady stuff. America forgot this. They had amnesia.

I think during the trump reign, America was comatose.

This is something that the USA should really take note of. The effect their decisions have on the rest of the world and the resulting responsibility this entails. They should pay attention to that fact and not abuse it. More than ever they should prove they deserve to be a global leader by being mature and doing the right things for all of us. They are, whether they like it or not, the example to the rest of us on how we should conduct our affairs and lives.

America has narrowly dodged a bullet of dictatorship and totalitarianism and thus spared the entire world a similar fate.

I hope they fully understand this.