Author: samandoat

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What You Do Best

A couple of years ago I attended a Comiccon to visit the artists gallery, mistakenly believing that would be one of the main attractions at such an event.  Instead there were two rows of tables and booths shoved at the very back of the huge venue, sort of an after thought.

As I walked up and down the rows several times, I was greatly disappointed.  Not that the art wasn’t good, some artists are awesome, but there was nothing truly unique.

One young woman however, at a tiny booth wedged between some heavy weights, had some truly beautiful cat drawings.  Okay, I am partial to all things cat, but she captured the essence of a cat, its unique personality, not just the poses.  This is a special talent, to be able to pull out character from a drawing, so it speaks to you.  She displayed them rather apologetically, crowding them out with Zombies, several comic books she was developing.  I bought one of her cat prints, and she insisted I take several Zombie prints free, to promote her comic book.  I told her Zombies have zero appeal to me, but her cat illustrations are awesome.  She was disappointed.

She was ignoring her real talent in hopes of making it big in the comics world.  Agreed, there is huge money making potential in comics and graphic art novels.  The competition is fierce but many are making it.  However, her artistic ability was way elsewhere.

Now some artists want to make it big, in any way they can.  This is okay.  But some artists want to be other than they are.  I read that Noble, who did the backgrounds for Wile E. Coyote and Marvin the Martian always wanted to be a fine artist, even though we are wowed by his futuristic landscapes.

I believe in being true to yourself, that the world ultimately recognizes authenticity.  Does not mean it’ll like it, or reward  you for it.  Ones style however is unique.

I am guilty of wanting to be other than I am, and have, in my youth, and in age, naively gone off on wild tangents other than concentrating on my strengths.  It is good to learn new things, but if it makes you frustrated with your style then something is wrong.

Is it better to be a starving authentic artist or a wealthy fake?  Ha, ha.

It is way better to concentrate on developing your strengths than it is to try and fix weaknesses.  This applies to all things in life, not just creative pursuits.  We spend way too much time worrying about our faults, when we all have quite interesting abilities.  And our own style.

In such a critical, fault finding world, I applaud those who wish to shine at what they do best.  For true happiness is found there.

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Stop Looking Backwards

I read an article this morning that helped me to understand what is happening in the United States today.

Automobile makers have been freed of emissions regulations and as a result have resorted back to producing big, heavy, gas guzzling, pollution spewing trucks and abandoning the production of cars.

It occurred to me then that Americans are pining for the past, the glory days of the 50’s and 60’s, when everything was big from hairdo’s to cars.   Middle class was rising and becoming wealthy.  The space age began.  There were big dreams and the economy was booming.  The world was large.

But that is the highlight reel.

Out of all the white middle class suburbia and glory came gory.

Racism.  Pollution.  Abuse.  To name only a few.

As we became aware of such things, and realized they were not good, we took steps to fix our messes and evolved to today.   I think a lot of stuff in the past was done in ignorance and innocence.  We were children then, but now we are adults.  No longer innocent or ignorant of our footprint on this world or our impact on the global stage.  We pay a huge price for our ways.  There are consequences to every action we take.

Todays world is a global community with no options for being isolationist any more.  We must learn how to get along and work towards common goals.  There is no room for dictators with selfish ambitions, we will all perish under such rulers.  Those days should be long behind us.

If we don’t pay attention to our carbon footprint on the environment we are out of time.  Where can we go if this world dies?

Forget Star Trek fantasies of the 60’s.  The universe is a hostile place and ginormous.  There are no planets with handsome men and bodacious women, breathable air and luxuries abounding.  You think we are going to flee to Mars or live in satellites where every day is a fight to stay alive?  We live on a beautiful planet, our only home.  There is no place else to go.  We can build huge rocket ships, but to go where exactly?  And who gets to go?  It only happens in science fiction novels.  It is not reality.  Forget escaping, we need responsibility.  We need to grow up.

The exception to our current giant steps backward is the MeToo movement, a huge step forward for women.  That is why I pin my hopes on women to save the world.  If we preserve our nurturing, loving nature and combine it with our new found confidence we could end racism, poverty, abuse, pollution and all ills of the world.

It is the bad things in life that make us aware of what we want the world to look like.  I am optimistic (though it wavers) – we usually, eventually, take responsibility to make things right again.  I did read a hopeful article that said the U.S. has survived many bad things and leaders and picked itself up and moved forward, and this gave me hope.  Yes, we can evolve but we have to stop looking backwards.  We can look at the crap and decide we’re not going there again.

Likewise, on a personal note, I too have to stop pining for the past and create a whole new me and life.

I think we all should.

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Why “NO”

I made this comment on LinkedIn about the legalization of marijuana use in Canada:

“I am so against the legalization of any recreational drug.  It gives the message that being impaired is okay.  We still have problems with alcohol.”

I received some backlash on this, so I wish to elaborate on where I am coming from and why I say NO.

First of all, this is not my cause.  If it were I would have made an effort to halt this happening instead of making a comment after the fact.  It is just my opinion.  Opinion based on faulty logic, as it is with everyone.  Logic comes from our life experiences and how many years we’ve been at it.  I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s so I know something about the matter, though my experiences may be quite different than others of the same generation.

This legislation was passed on a vote of 52-29.  That’s 81 people.  Hardly representative of an entire nation.  It is also a government decision, and they look at money first.  If you are naive enough to think all that revenue will go to build roads, schools, hospitals and the like, I suggest you ask where all the money from alcohol, cigarettes and gambling is now going.

Where we had one law, we will now have to spend lots of money to implement many more laws to regulate the use of this substance.  When it was illegal, there was one law and one exception – medicinal use.

I am not against the use and legalization of drugs for pain and disease.  I am against legalizing it for pleasure.

Mary Jane is a drug and it is addictive.  Anything that gives you pleasure you can become addicted to, require more of and eventually be unable to be happy without.  This applies for everything from sugar to sex to alcohol and cigarettes and anything else you can think of.  We are a species prone to addiction to pleasure.

It impairs your ability to think clearly and function.  It makes some think they are brilliant, funny and leaders.  Have you ever worked with a stoned person?  Driven with them?  Would you want to?  How about repair your house, operate heavy equipment, doctor you, fix your teeth…?

How is being impaired with marijuana better than alcohol if you kill someone while driving?  How is being impaired while driving better than not?

I know some people my age who have always been pot heads.  Their lives are a mess, but they are not so aware of it.  They make ridiculous (and sometimes costly) decisions and some cannot have sex with their partner without it.  One smoked pot all his life to prevent glaucoma.  Guess what.

Like attracts like.  Do you want to hang around with fellow alcoholics, smokers, tokers?  Or do you want to hang with people doing something constructive with their lives?  Going places?

I am not against recreational use of anything, except I know where it can lead.  We as humans are not terribly good at moderation.  What starts as fun can soon become a necessity.

Making something illegal does not solve problems, but neither does making it legal, because legislation is the wrong approach to begin with.  It does not decrease crime, it merely ‘relocates’ it to something else.

What we need is education – how to have a life, make good choices, help the world, have relationships, handle money, be happy.  We fail our young by not teaching them life skills.

My cause is not making substances illegal.  My concern is with people wasting their lives and everyone elses.

There are better ways to enjoy your life, to relax and to have fun.  Alcohol, cigarettes, marijuana and the like are substitutes for genuine joy.

It is not okay.

Make the effort to find real joy in your life.

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Water Therapy

Everything is right with the universe once more.

Nothing cures my work day week blues and blahs like being out on the water for an hour.  $15 buys a lot of sanity.

I always was a water baby.  From my first time as a toddler in a wading pool in our back yard (I remember it seemed enormous!) fully immersed up to my knees, to summers slumming in pools, rivers and on beaches, to vacations where every motel had to have a pool (or I just was not staying!) and on to camping, motorboats, canoes, kayaks, sailboats and now paddleboards,  I just had to be near water.  Even if that meant sitting on a rock, feet dangling in the water, minnows nibbling my toes.  I spent one glorious summer doing just that, sitting next to the river on the rocks watching the water go slowly past me.  Oh to do that again!

I’ve held a fascination for water as long as I can remember, the smallest trickle of water will get my attention;  rain, melting snow, water in a ditch, spring runoff over rocks, a puddle on the street, lawn sprinklers (oh the rainbows!).  I waited hours to watch a geyser finally erupt, and can be mesmerized by waterfalls.

I love boats (the quiet type!), where I glide over an underwater world unfolding beneath me; undulating weeds, smooth multicoloured rocks, soft glittering sand, silver flashes of minnow schools and the occasional crayfish.  On the surface there is a dance of water striders and whirligigs.  When I discover a stranded non-water bug, I am happy to scoop him up, let him dry on the end of my paddleboard and return him to land.

Today as I sat on the paddleboard I was greeted by a curious snapping turtle and an elegant black swan.  They checked me out, I said hello and continued on.  A busy muskrat let me know not to come to close to her nest as she swam by, slapping her tail at me as she dove.

I was investigated by dragonflies, mayflies and deer flies.  Swooped over by barn swallows,  Honked at by geese and ignored by ducks.

Trees swept over my head along the shoreline.  I caught glimpses of bright yellow finches in the foliage and drifted uneasily under a dead tree heavy with black cormorants.  A hummingbird made a brief appearance and disappeared into the daisies.

Isn’t this a beautiful place?

I am so lucky.  I am so blessed.

Today did me a lot of good.

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Do Your Best Work

I once knew a lady artist who often did cards and the like for fellow employees in our office.  Her work was pretty, but not outstanding, and she used cheap cardboard.  Still, we enjoyed any gift of art we received from her, for any occasion, birthdays, anniversaries, retirement.

One day I went to her home to help her with a computer issue I was familiar with.  She lived in a large condominium that was jammed packed with her art materials.  The dining room table was overflowing with completed art work, mostly cards, in her traditional style, except for one glaring difference.

These cards were beautiful!  They were professionally done, on high quality paper with expensive materials.  They were really good.  They were awesome!

My head could not get around the discrepancy between what I saw at work and what I witnessed here.  In answer to my unspoken bewilderment she said “These are for my paying customers”.

My young naive self was shocked.  As an artist it never occurred to me to do less than my best for any reason.

Does it make sense on any level to do substandard work when it is for free?  I felt kind of insulted that the cards I got were crap.  They didn’t seem so special any more.

It is a lesson that has stuck with me many years.  I am not going to give out crap because it is free.  I am not saving my best for only those who will pay for it.  I create for JOY.  And if someone else gets joy from it, glory!  Yes, I do sell my work, it costs money to create my books, photography and art.  But freebies to my friends and family are of the same quality and effort.

I feel the same way about work.  Whether you volunteer or are paid, give your best effort (although it is sometimes true that volunteers give more than paid workers).

I guess I am just naive.

Do your best work at all times.  Not just for money.

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Peppermint Poison

I ran out of my regular green tea, and had an unopened box of peppermint tea, so I decided to give it a try.

Being a tea-aholic, I consumed this new and delicious tea at a rate of 2 to 4 cups (or more!) every single evening for 2 solid weeks.

Fortunately, I was tired of it.

Unfortunately, too late.

Several days after I stopped consuming peppermint tea I began to feel unwell.  Nothing specific, just nausea.

Then I got a terrible yeast infection, and that same evening, FIRE!

My feet burned like hot coals were inside my cells.  Then my hands.   Shooting flames up and down my arms and the inside of my legs!

It spread to my face and my ears.  I was a red hot chili pepper!  I looked like a flaming tomato!

I had all kinds of blood work done, my body was in distress, blood pressure skyrocketed.  It seemed as if I had consumed something toxic.  But what?

I wracked my brains until I remembered the peppermint tea.  Tea??

Sure enough, when I consulted Doctor Google, there it was, peppermint is bad stuff in high doses.  It’s the menthol in it.  Mint is cool.  Pepper, damn hot!

It has now garnered me the nickname of Peppermint Patty.

Could be a lot worse.

I’ll recover.

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Just Sit

I usually get up at 4 a.m. so I can do my creative projects and some physical exercise before going to work.  But every once in a while, I just sit.

That’s right.  Just sit.

Hands wrapped around a big mug of tea, the cat in my lap, I will stay put until it is time to get ready for work.  That is 3 hours of sit.  I am amazed at how fast that goes by!

And how necessary it is.

How wonderful to disengage.  Sometimes it is inspiring.  Sometimes I get new ideas.  Most of the time I just rest.  Three hours of not expecting anything, planning anything, trying to figure stuff out, worrying, ruminating, processing information.  Rushing.

Nice also to have 3 hours where I am silent.  Seldom do I speak a word, not even to cat.  Likewise, it is good not to listen either.  The next 8 to 10 hours at work are filled with non-stop chatter, where I must communicate clearly and listen intently.

In the early morning hours, not much activity in the world outside my doors.  Birds may be singing to the sunrise, or rain pattering on my window.  Sometimes the howl of wind.  No cars, voices, vehicles, sirens, telephones, people and the like – yet.

Most weekends and holidays in summer I spend hours of sit outside.  Next door is a splendid park, complete with thundering waterfall.  In these surroundings if I sit still long enough, nature gets curious about or bored with me and reveals herself.  Creatures appear and check me out or resume their daily business.  Nature is calm and soothing yet brimming with life and activity.  A still-busyness. Work is noisy, demanding and always, always busy.  No still there.

So now as I just sit and let the world carry on without me, my cat stretches full length down to my ankles and yawns.  The clock is telling me the hour has come.  Already ten minutes past the hour.  Think I’ll just sit a bit more . . .

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There Is Still Hope

A beautiful antique Singer sewing machine came up for sale while I was scrolling mindlessly through items on my cell phone a few days ago.  It was exactly like the one my Mother used, and was in immaculate condition.  This set in motion a longing in me to have it, but at $450 and with too small of an apartment I could only gaze at the picture and sigh.

This gave me pause for thought.  As I get older I pine more for the past which causes quite a bit of frustration.  I see items all the time I had as a young girl and that time of my life was a whole lot better than my adulthood.

But I was thinking.  I am very very fortunate to have had all those lovely things at one time in my life.  Although I cannot have them now, I once did have them.  Also, all the things I wish I could do, I once did.  I long to re-experience them, but it is not that I never had them.  So I am very grateful.  I know what it is like to have, and now to want.  Others never have and only ever experience want.

I came from an upper middle class family that afforded us many nice things and experiences.  So for almost 20 years of my life I had those things.  My frustration lies in not being able to go back.  My childhood was a dream time, full of fantasy and creativity.  My adult life, for the most part, sucks shit, and seems to lack the same zeal, and certainly, the appeal.

However, seeing things from the perspective of gratitude for what once was, is helpful.  There is still time to grab hold of some of the past, should my fortunes change and money materialize.  The challenge is to create a better today, and a more hopeful future.  So while I am fortunate to have a generous past to look back at, I may have a more generous future waiting for me.  There is still hope.

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Some Mystery Left

Warm summer nights would find a younger version of myself out in the backyard, alone, gazing at the stars.  For hours in mosquito laden nights I would ponder the universe.  My parents, perhaps to satisfy my curiosity, but more likely to keep me close to home and a little less itchy, bought me a telescope, a long white metal tube on a tripod.  Now the night skies were accessible in the comfort of my mosquito free bedroom, and also afforded year round viewing.

When I first saw a magnified moon it frightened me.  Awesome!!  Such a beautiful landscape.  Pristine.

Mom brought me home from a camping trip to watch the lunar landing on TV.  I cried that night.  I was sad the moon bore the footprints of man and was no longer so mysterious.

The Science and Technology Museum offered an astronomy course when I was in my late teens, which I attended every night.  Sometimes there were 4 or 5 of us, but most of the time, it was just me.  We were entertained with documentaries on the universe, solar system and the like until the skies were dark enough for viewing.  Shivering equally from cold and awe, I saw Saturn for the first time through a 15 inch refracting telescope.

I briefly joined the local astronomy club, but they had a strict policy that you could not believe in God and be an astronomer at the same time.  Hmmm.

My engineer Dad harboured a secret desire to work for NASA and I happily accompanied him to Florida to tour the facilities.  It was an overwhelming experience.  Sadly my Dad never applied to work there.  Imagine what might have been.

Along came the series Cosmos and I devoured it all.  Carl Sagan’s unhurried personal tour of the universe and science gave me time to think about what he said.  When a record album of the music of Cosmos was offered by PBS television for a donation, I was glued to the phone.  So for $20, I got the record, and for a few minutes, to talk to the President of PBS.  I still have that record today.  I revisited Cosmos just last month and it has not lost its appeal for me.

Nowadays I am lucky to see one star besides the moon in our bright city skies, so my telescope is covered over and collecting dust.  But there is plenty of viewing on the internet.  The universe is largely untouched.  Some mystery is left.

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No Prizes for Mankind

No Nobel Prize for literature this year?  Well, doesn’t that speak volumes on how far our society has deteriorated.

Life, and all we know of  is like a graph of oscillating functions.  There are peaks and then . . . well, currently we are in the trough where all the pigs eat.

I am hopeful that such upheavals mean we are on the upswing.  Although the peaks are pretty bad also.

In humankind we are all too human.  We need more kind.

Money, power and sex have ruled our societies long enough.  It is time for new ways of being.  However, I am doubtful we can change.  There is a threshold we can so easily cross, which shrinks what little brain we actually use, giving us tunnel vision.  That tunnel vision is greed.

Our leaders are elected solely for their talent in acquiring money, irrespective of the methods.  Their only purpose for being in power is to get more money for themselves.  They are barely given a slap on the wrist for their gross mistreatment of virtually everyone.  Where would you and I be if we behaved so badly?

The uber rich receive awards for creating jobs (yet treat their employees as slaves).  The result is they have so much money they don’t know what to do with it (say what?!).  Some of these arrogant snobs could end world poverty, but launch rockets into space instead (the ultimate phallic symbol) claiming this will help and even save mankind.  Puhleese.

No prizes for mankind this year.

But guess what?  I want to be rich!  Because I want to retire and do the things I love all day.  I don’t want to launch rockets, or have slaves or run countries.  Money is freedom to me.  I want to live well, and live quietly.

Even with my loud voice!