I tend to go through phases of this, where I am intensely worried about stuff and then, what was I so upset about?
Like most people I suppose, I live a life of quiet desperation, keeping my worries to myself and being a mole, burying it underground so no one can see.
Sharing misery with others does not help the situation anyways. They’ll tell you you are worrying for nothing, or your fears are inflated. All the while, they have some deep seated fears, perhaps even the same fears they are being moles about.
The only cure for worry, like most things, is action. Not distraction necessarily, but confronting your fears head on.
What works for me is planning, though I hate planning or scheduling in near nauseating proportions.
If I have a clear idea what the problem is, then I can look for solutions, and several different plans to tackle it. If the thing I worry about comes to pass, I can put those initiatives into action.
Sometimes we don’t know what the problem is; we have a health issue but no diagnosis, we have a financial problem but we don’t know where the money is going, we have a relationship problem but don’t know why. So first the problem needs clarification, going for tests, tracking your money, communicating with your loved ones. It takes some research, some courage, and acceptance. No small feats to be sure. Once you know the problem, it makes it a whole lot easier to find solutions. However, you need a lot of solutions in order to find one that works for you.
Ugh, it all means work.
Or you can just needlessly worry, and let life take care of the problem for you. Sometimes you have to do that too. But, I am a fighter. I’ve been passive too but only on things I knew were hopeless, or not worth pursuing. Things I could not correct, only make worse by mucking around with it. It is good to let a lover go sometimes, or a job and look for the silver lining and new opportunities. Never easy, but certainly inevitable at some time in life.
I take great strength from people who have been through worse and survived, or better, thrived!
It does not mean things will go according to plan, but at least I will have thought about it and have some idea what to do. And if something comes out at me from left field, at least I know that in the past I have solved problems and knew what to do. It builds resilience.
And yet, I still worry. I lose sleep. I am human.
I think worry shows you the reality of life, that you cannot always control your destiny. But it only shows you the dark side of things. What if things improved immeasurably by something supposedly bad happening? I can tell you truthfully, this is often the case. Either what I worried about never came to pass, or in hindsight, it was the best thing to ever happen.
