I checked out a self help book written by the son of an author I used to read a lot of, to see if he had anything new to say. I used to be the self help book Queen. I read them all.
Instead, it was a rehash of old principles that have circulated forever, and for the working masses, the majority of us, just don’t work.
Why?
Because self help is based on these lies: perfection is attainable, that we are defective, it is all our fault if things are not right, and we must do more, and more and more, work, work, work. There even might be some magic involved. And of course, spend lots of money to get help. Ugh.
Us drones are already on perpetual overwhelment. We don’t need to add more things to do to our days, to our brains. To be told we are faulty in some way and need to be corrected. This is too much like our bosses constantly beating us to improve, work harder, longer, so they get more and we get less. It is all a big, fat, lie.
There are not ten things you need to do every morning, another ten at night, and fifty more things to remember all the rest of the day with strategically placed sticky notes. Good grief!
We all need permission to do less. We all need to hear we are okay as we are. To have space and time that are ours only. Ours.
When have I experienced the most self improvement, the most inspiration, received wisdom and knowledge, answers, guidance? When I am still. When I sit outside and watch Mother Nature. When I’m not doing anything. When I can contemplate my life without harassment, judgement or hurry. Or to not think at all. Certainly not when I am being criticized, judged, brow beaten, shamed, guilted. If I feel I must work on faults that someone else says I have. That it is wrong to not be perfect. Yuck.
I don’t need another tyrannical boss in my life demanding I change to suit their needs. I am good enough as I am. Anything that needs fixing is God’s domain. If I am quiet with Him, not only do I get revelation, but I am changed, without post-it notes, affirmations, magic crystals or chanting. Or spending zillions of dollars on self help books, motivational seminars or products.
Remember this. There is a place for everyone. You do not have to be molded to fit a situation. You can shine where you are at, just as you are.
I am particularly distressed about a new trend that states you should think about work first thing in the morning so you are better prepared for your day. Stop it!! The mornings are the best time for quiet. The best time to do something for YOU and you only. Your time. Not your bosses! I cherish my morning time, there is no way my job or anyone can have that EVER. My job already steals all my joy and energy right through until the next morning. I bet for a lot of you, this is also true.
Best self help? Experience. Learn and grow from living. Do a lot of reading. Pay attention. Have fun. Work less at what you loathe.
Take a holiday, and don’t read any self help books when you do. They will make you crazy.
