A Most Valuable Resource

Yesterday a tornado touched down in our city, only a few miles from where I live.  For a lot of people in the world, this is nothing, but this is an extremely rare, if ever, occurrence in my part of the world.

The result was a near city wide power outage.

Now, this has happened before, we’ve had power outages that were extremely long under dire circumstances, such as the ice storm, that was a matter of life and death for many people.  I was an able bodied person then and technology was not quite as booming as it is today.  Although during one hot August power outage I saw many people wandering around staring disbelievingly at blank phone screens, not knowing what to do.

But being disabled now, such power outages have a whole new meaning.

I stood at the elevators in my apartment complex with several other tenants, one a young woman on crutches, and none of us knew what to do.  I had also done grocery shopping and was burdened with my cart, as well as my cane.

The young girl suggested we all go over to the take out place across the street and eat.  We just looked at her and she persisted “But I have money!”

We take electricity so for granted that we don’t realize that it isn’t just a convenience, it is our entire way of living.  Without it, everything is wiped out.

After walking up 14 flights of stairs part way with my cart (then a nice young man took that up the rest of the way for me), I was now in an apartment, in the dark, with no running water, no way to cook a meal, nor warm my place.  I put my food into a warming refrigerator and realized all that food would soon perish.  I have canned food – but an electric can opener.  I have no water.  All the stores in the neighborhood are closed, nothing is functioning at all.

I was totally unprepared.  My cell phone was at less than 30% charged.  Even fully charged would it outlast a major power outage?

If I go anywhere, I would have to walk down the stairs and take a bus somewhere to buy water, if buses were still running, and then climb back all those stairs hauling a couple of heavy bottles.  All very fine if your legs are working properly.

I sit and wait.

Electricity has become our second most valuable resource (water probably tops this) and I wonder if we do enough to protect it.  Without electricity, virtually everything comes to a standstill, our entire way of living vanishes, we are lost.  You can’t buy anything.  You can’t get gas for your car.  You can’t charge your phone. It is a very frightening scenario, especially if you are laid low physically.  

The power station hit very close to me is just a structure so vulnerable to all the elements, completed exposed.  And this small place on a corner of 2 busy streets paralyzed 60% of the city.  This makes me a little more nervous.

I don’t profess to know much about how all this works, but I wonder if we could do something to protect this resource a wee bit more as it seems to be a sitting duck.

Meanwhile, the electricity came back on a little over 24 hours later and I have myself a big pot of tea.  All is well again.

Right At My Feet

When I first got inklings to write about joy I had no idea God would put me so thoroughly to the test.

However, the stiffer He has made my legs, the more joy I have found.  My sense of humour has returned.  I make jokes about myself because I am quite comical to watch.  And when you move at less than one mile per hour, you notice a lot of things.

There right at my feet, as I got off the bus, a shiny silver quarter (it took some doing to pick that up since I don’t bend!  Ah, the right motivation can accomplish great things.)  And next to it, struggling in a soil barren crack, a tiny plant tries to get a foothold. I spot a large purple daisy with a busy nectar finding bee.  A shadow of an overhead butterfly zig zags across the sidewalk,  challenging me to spot it.  I look up, and a rooftop seagull looks down at me.

I am amused by the smallest of things; a sparkly elevator floor, a workman’s footprints on our carpet, a fallen flower from my orchid.

Everything has become a photographic opportunity.

My existence like that episode of Star Trek (Wink of an Eye) where there are two versions of time. One is accelerated and buzzing around me like bees.  Fellow pedestrians zoom past me like mean flies, angry scowls on their faces.  I smile up at the sky.  I have become a simpleton.  I can no longer strive to do anything.  I no longer hurry to get anywhere.  No longer care about things of no interest to me.  Out of the rat race.

For a while I took a short hike into the badlands, got lost in myself and my problems, but today am returning to joy.

Life is a journey of inwards and outwards, like breathing.  For a spell I am self absorbed and ruminating, the next out in the sun with a friend talking about Trump.

Good and bad are options constantly available.  So look for and see the good, even when you’re in the midst of some heavy duty bad.  Some joy might be right at your feet!

Too Smug

“So how long does it take you to get dressed in the morning?” my friend asked me today.

“About a half hour of struggle.” I reply.

“I guess you’re not finding your joy these mornings.”

A startling statement!  True.  In fact, all my concentration has been on my poor hurting legs and all the effort I must now put forth to function.  Made me realize how quickly I have abandoned my dreams.  Perhaps I was too naive to casually tell people to ‘just make a half hour’ for your dreams.  This is all fine when you are fit; mentally and physically able.  But what if you are not?  What if you have constant pain?  What if the simplest things are monumental struggles?

There can be some huge obstacles standing in your way.  When faced with overwhelming challenges, not all of us have the ability to pursue our dreams. 

To be sure life is not fair or even kind at times.  Circumstances will favour you and then stab you in the back.  External things you can’t control for long, if ever.  Internal things, like your emotions can wreak havoc, and you might not ever harness your internal world and make it work for you.

Yes, it is way too smug to say all those cliches.  Just go do it.  If you want it bad enough you will find a way.  Nothing can stop you and yada, yada.  It is not always true.  Life can stop you cold.

We read about people who have overcome incredible challenges and succeed, because they are a rarity.  I don’t think everyone else is lazy or deficient.  I think it is way more complicated than that. 

If you have a challenge one of two things can happen.  It’ll either turn you away from your dreams or drive you harder into them.  And which way you go is dependent on so many factors that are unique to you and your life story.

If you learn of others who achieved their dreams despite themselves, you will find many different ways this was accomplished.  Some had family support, friends, money.  Others have incredible mental fortitude.  Some had a life changing moment, or they just made a decision.  Synchronicity and luck play roles.  Some learned how to change, how to adapt, how to find creative solutions.  Technology aided them. No two people are alike, and what may be nothing to one may be a huge problem to another.

It is too glib to say “Just go do it”.  Too smug.

Because not everyone has the ability.  Those tired cliches can burn holes in a good persons soul and make them feel inadequate, deficient, unworthy.

I am sorry I may have contributed to that mindset.

Having said all this however, I remain an optimist.  Perhaps a challenged person cannot make their dreams come true by themselves, but a global community of creative thinkers and doers can find innovative solutions to make those dreams come true in unconventional ways.  So put your dreams out there and ask for help.  You never know who has the answer.

What Are Vacations For?

From your employers point of view they have to pay you money to not work so they don’t find much value in vacations.  The only exception being that you come back refreshed so you can work harder.

However, if you look at this picture, this is pretty much what will happen to you if you don’t take a vacation.

You’ll seize up.

Okay – I seized up about 5 weeks before my vacation.  Poor planning on my behalf.

So now I use my vacation to get better.

Now I know what vacations are really for.  Healing.

Most vacations it takes about 2 weeks for me to totally de-stress, and then I can try to remember who I really am and what I truly enjoy doing and then go do it.  Fortunately, as I am older, I have insisted on 4 weeks vacation, so I have 2 weeks, usually, to enjoy myself.  Maybe not so much this year.

I had not anticipated a holiday in which I am trying to get well enough to go back to work – but I suspect that this is exactly what most people do in one way or another.

Since I am now the Tin Lady, not unlike the Tin Man who made the mistake of being out in the rain, I’m a wee bit stiff, and a hell of a lot slower.

My physiotherapist can appreciate this picture.

As my friend said, he can do the hundred yard dash in 3 days.

Which is probably a day less than me.

I am getting better, but I also may have a new reality.

My vacation has a new meaning – but I must admit, a better meaning.  I have learned so much from being disabled, way more than when I was an able bodied, and active person.  Valuable lessons I could not have gotten any other way.  I discovered also there are some very genuine caring people in this world who have given their time to help me, despite my pride and stubborn self!  And some have inspired me in new ways.

I have learned the true definition of resilience, and it is not what you think.  Courage is not being Wonder Woman 24/7.  It means you get out and do what you have to do while your brain is whining all the time, you’re totally despairing, you’ve lost all hope,  ready to curl up and die, you’re having pity parties, screaming in pain or yelling at your spouse or any other hapless creature in your way.  You grumble, you plod and you are miserable but you keep pressing forward.  You put yourself on auto pilot and never stop.

I am grateful for the experience and the education, but next time, I think an exotic locale with 5 star hotels might be a better choice!  My lessons will go with me even there, and enrich all my future adventures.