Tag: Christmas

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Christmas

I love Christmas!

There is a spirit that sweeps up even the most hard hearted. It has nothing to do with what you believe or what religion you are. Joy is universal at this time of year.

I love everything about Christmas. I love all the glitter, the lights, everything sparkling and bright. I love the music. Even the sad music. Especially my squeaky attempts at I’ll Be Home for Christmas on the flute. I even love all of the commercialism because I see how abundant we are, how giving we are, and all the happiness that buying and giving and receiving brings. Our hearts are full at Christmas.

I love all the fruitcake and shortbread. Turkey and cranberry. Chocolates. Yule logs. Yep, I put on some poundage starting as soon as these things arrive in the store.

But of course I speak from a privileged place. I’m not rich, but I am okay.

Yes, I know, not all of us are so fortunate. I cannot make sense of why this is. This world has more than enough of everything for everybody. It is disheartening that our abundance gets bottlenecked by just the few greedy rich. Our whole social system needs an enormous overhaul. If only we could take the spirit of Christmas into our doings all year long and make better decisions. Banish greed and corrupt behaviour and with it, poverty and crime.

I believe joy could win with the right attitude in the right places. At least I found that to be true in my own life.

I am glad every year ends with Christmas. It reminds me of what I am grateful for, and why I want to live forever.

Christmas wipes out all the bad and gives me hope.

May it do the same for you, and everyone.

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The Spirit of Christmas

Some people really lack all understanding of what Christmas means, and the spirit can’t even get close to them. Instead they gripe and complain about things I would consider awesome, like fancy meals, decorations, having friends and family visit, and most of all, presents.

I am shocked when I hear parents denying their children presents for their own selfish adult reasons. Reasons which translated to a child mean they are being punished for something. Children live in a world of reward and punishment on which their very survival depends. They always have to try to figure out which is what in order to be cared for. They don’t understand your adult shit .

Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, giving and receiving and eating way too much. It is to be a time of laughter and fun. What the fuck happened to that? Oh yeah, stupid adults.

Stupid adults on their own stupid agendas at a time of year when all agendas need to be cancelled, voided, nulled and thrown out! Oh we gave to the poor, or worse, make their children give up presents of their own for total strangers. Stop it!

I am not saying do not give to the poor – I am saying do both, stupid!

Show your children how they can do both too without punishing them. They will see your generosity, your Christmas spirit (hopefully all year long) and when they are adults themselves and understand that kind of shit, will follow suit. Show them by your actions, and don’t make them sacrifice their joy, their presents, what kind of shits are you? Miserable sots that you are, shame, double shame on you for being such miserable sots.

I am not saying you need to indulge every childish whim and desire, but for goodness sake, get them things that will make them squeal with delight. Things you have to wrap up and put under the tree – if you even can bring yourself to have a tree. Make Christmas happen people – for your children at least. Maybe even you might find some delight in it.

Also, the worst Christmas thing I ever witnessed was when my Mother and I went out for a fancy Christmas dinner at a restaurant, and next to us was a man and his young daughter. She was maybe 4 or 5 and was holding her toy bunny and listening to this asshole father explain to her that Mom and Dad were no longer going to be together and she would have to now visit them separately. Kept asking her if she understood this. Of course not you moron. She’s a little girl with her toy rabbit! And it’s fucking Christmas dick! Shame on you! Adults are miserable, selfish sots!

I am so glad I had the parents I did, and had Christmas that was full of presents, joy, and laughter without conditions and things I would never have understood in a million years. Thank God that although things were not perfect, my parents made the effort to make our lives worth living and never ever made us try to live in an adult world before our time. They let us be kids.

Amen to that!

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Christmas Spirit

It started happening a couple of weeks ago, that feeling of joy in the air. People are becoming more friendly, grateful and cheerful. Ah, the Christmas spirit. No one is immune to it.

A heaviness is lifted, scowls are turned to smiles, impatience with enduring, and forgiveness instead of fault finding.

After a year of our leaders nit picking, outrageous crimes and blatant lies, and worst of all name calling, smear campaigns and all sorts of juvenile, reprehensible, disgusting, vile behaviour, the Christmas spirit is a most welcome reprieve.

I was most impressed with Tom Hanks starting a trend of tweeting good things said, I hope that continues. We need to have fresh air. The antics of our leaders have made everything stale and most foul. I am heartily tired of it.

It seems as if avarice has infiltrated every sector of society. I am so disheartened to learn just how far these tentacles have reached, into everything and anything that might make someone rich, famous and powerful. I am sickened that many support this, especially women. Ugh.

I have nothing against being rich, famous and powerful – only the means by which this is attained, and the aftermath of it, how it is used. From what I’ve seen, I’m not greatly encouraged. Not more cars, telephones and f’in rocketship space junk puhleese!

However, Christmas is coming and with it, the joy I see in peoples faces. The weariness of day to day living is lifting and we are remembering what life should be all about.

As an aside, I am also very happy to see a resurgence of the craft industry, people making things, taking up knitting and stuff. Seeing people make things that have value and meaning and are fun! I was excited to see that toy trains are experiencing a renewal.

As I am rambling in this blog (and it is my blog to ramble in) what I would absolutely love to have is my own workshop, replete with lathes, drill press, scroll saw and lots of tools so I can make stuff like I used to in my Dad’s workshop.

I guess at Christmas I revert back to my childhood when life was a whole lot more creative and fun than it is now.

But, I have the Christmas spirit and I am happy.

Bring on the fruit cake, yule logs, shortbread cookies and lots of smiles!

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Just Because Again

At this time of year I usually recommend that you buy yourself something, a just because gift.

I got my just because gifts this week, to cover my birthday and Christmas as they come so close together.

Now before you run off and call me selfish, it is first of all, okay to be a bit selfish once in a while – hence the ‘just because’ gift. We spend so much time taking care of everyone else and forget that we are worthy of rewarding ourselves. The gift should be something you really want – not something you need necessarily, but something very interesting, unusual and you. It does not have to be practical. It can be silly. It can be anything that your heart truly longs for.

This gift you do not justify to anyone else; no need to explain why you got it, or how much money it cost, or offer all kinds of excuses for getting it or anything else to make yourself look small. Get the gift. Don’t tell anyone. It is yours.

It took me a long while to realize how important this is. It does not mean I don’t give to others, that somehow someone else I love is deprived. Good grief. But if I continually deprive myself of good things, things that make my heart sing, if only for a short while, I am giving myself a very clear message that I am not worthy, that I am less than others. Bah, humbug.

Too many years of this already.

Your gift can be anything that means something to you. An experience. A course. A seminar. A retreat. Vacation. Jewellery. Clothing. Dust collector. Book. Something you’ve wanted for ages ‘just because’ you like it, you want it.

Of course, don’t be silly and rush out and buy a Corvette unless you can afford it! But if a Corvette is what you want – then give yourself the gift of permission to have it, and then make plans to save, work, enter contests, whatever (nothing illegal here please) to get it.

I am a very frugal person, so it used to be very hard to buy anything new for myself without trying to find it already used or on sale, or to substitute a lesser value/quality item and tell myself it is good enough. Especially something I don’t need. Don’t you do that! The first time I bought something new, of high quality, at full price, I felt faint! It felt sneaky, but exhilarating. But, boy, did that change my outlook, and my confidence. So now I do the just because every year. It shows me I love myself. That I can do things. I can be someone. Someone worthy.

Let me tell you, owning nice things does a lot for your soul. Even getting one small item that is your hearts desire is worth it. Even if it is something you just look at once in a while. No it is not crazy.

If it doesn’t do the same for you, make you feel awesome, you are doing it wrong. Treat yourself like you would treat someone you are madly in love with and long to please and make happy, just to see them light up with joy and jump up and down and cry a little. Make yourself the giver and the recipient and see what happens.

If you want to get married but are alone, propose to yourself, get yourself a ring, marry yourself! (It has already been done by the way). If you love roses but think buying a dozen is an extravagant waste – buy yourself a dozen long stem beauties and enclose a sexy, make your heart sing love card. And put those lovelies in a big, bold, beautiful vase. Send yourself a Christmas card! You have to love and honour yourself – put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others. When you cherish yourself, watch what happens to your life.

You are worth it.

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Waiting For January 2nd

It is hard to not make New Years Resolutions.

The same force that compels us to have the Christmas spirit is the same that makes us want to promise all kinds of things for next year.  It is not our fault.  It is a very real energy.

When all that energy wears off however, usually by January 2nd, we wonder, what were we thinking?  We spent way too much money, ate till we near burst and we made resolutions that will inevitably just not happen.

The reasons why we don’t change, can’t change or won’t change is because it is no fun.  

I stopped making resolutions many years ago because I got tired of beating myself up.  They are very ego bruising.

We are pleasure seeking creatures, like most animals, we don’t excel with misery.  If resolutions mean work, well, that means misery and that means we are not going to do them, at least, not for long.

Therein are the secrets to keep resolutions, after the thrill is gone of making them. The first secret is to make them pleasurable.  We make everything tedious work.  Make it play and you will easily do whatever needs to be done – well, almost.  You may need a bit of discipline once in a while, after all, old habits die hard.  However, if you continually make it an effort, you are done, you won’t budge, you won’t do it.  The second secret is to be open and try many things.  There is always more than one way to an end.  And trying many things – guess what – is fun!

Exercise.  Ugh.  How many of us are going to make that promise?  Off to the gym we trudge like we are doomed.  Who says exercise has to be the gym?  There are hundreds of different ways to get physically fit.  You could try every single one of them and still have plenty of choices left for next year.  Perhaps one of them will click with you and you will – oh my goodness – enjoy it so much you’ll keep going!  You can walk, run, swim, do karate, ballet, boxing, rowing, tennis. . . or do everything if you have the energy!

Diet.  Oh, how many times have I been down this dead end.  And hated every single minute of it.  Instead, I learned how to cook healthy and found healthy foods I actually enjoy eating.  There are many ways to get into the spirit of good food – cooking classes, seminars given by nutritionists, beautiful healthy food cookbooks and magazines, the internet is bursting with thousands of recipes and ways to make your favourite foods with substitute ingredients for all the bad stuff.  And I also learned to like my body, lumps and bumps and all.  It is way better to feel good inside than to look like a model.  When I feel healthy and strong, well, I’ve met my goal!

Changing a personality trait or behaviour can also be fun as you try on new ways of being.  We are very flexible and adaptable creatures.  As always, I only support positive changes never destructive ones.  There are infinite ways of being a better person than you are now.  But perhaps, you are already good enough.  None of us are perfect.  Maybe you are trying to be who you are not – somebody else – and forgetting what a great person you already are.  Any destructive behaviour however, is worth making a resolution to change it for good and forever.  Not just for you, but for everyone.

My only thoughts for the New Year are to keep on doing what I love and do more of what matters to me.

No, I’m not going to make a resolution now.

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Animals Are Not Humans

I want people to know this when they bring home a pet this Christmas, or at any time.  Animals are not humans.

So many people expect their pets to behave as a human would.  Now sometimes they do.  Mostly, they do not.  I ask you to allow your pet to be who they are and enjoy their perspective on life.  Maybe even learn a thing or two from it.

Many animals are simply not meant to be domesticated.  Exotic pets are not pets, they are animals far removed from home, and this makes my heart very very sad.  How much better to leave them in the wild and enjoy them from a distance.  It is mans nature to want to own things and collect things and when this extends to wild animals I am uncomfortable with it.  Some animals have a truce with us, such as cats and dogs and the like.  But others do not belong in our human world.

If I had my way everyone would have to take a course on how to properly treat animals before they could have one.

All animals respond to love, and this is a trait shared with humans.  If you can only remember one thing, remember this.

If you treat your pet with love, you never tease or punish it, it will trust you and soon learn what is acceptable and not in your world.  Your job is to be a responsible person; to protect and provide for them.  In return you will have a companion like no other.

You have to adapt to their modus operandi to successfully blend your two worlds together so both of you are safe and loved.  Pets are meant to be companions, not slaves and forced to exhibit abnormal behaviours, to do tricks for you or wear costumes.  They need to be appreciated for who they are, and be certain, they will not change for you.

An animal can live well and be well adjusted if you understand and accommodate its needs.  You will be surprised at how well an animal can adapt to your environment when it is treated with respect and love.

Ditto, by the way, for humans.

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Tethered

Ahead of me a very old and tired looking man carries a big empty box with the word Stroller on it in large white letters.  He looks back, not at me, but at the woman and said stroller behind me, replete with screaming child, tethered securely in.

Strollers are a bad thing for children.  I realize, for many a busy, harried adult, they are a godsend.  But when these restrained children grow up, they are going to have plenty of leg, hip and back problems.

Strollers only compound a problem we already have with our youth, who sit for long periods of time in front of electronic devices.

Young children scream and squirm when in strollers because they need to walk, run and move around.  Sadly, I see many children who have now resigned to their fate and sit sadly in the stroller.  I have never seen a happy child in one.

As a child I walked everywhere with my Mom.  I loved stairs and would run up and down to my hearts content.  I am sure I wore my Mother out!  In later years she told me that it was the stair climbing that got to her the most.  She added however, that this is what parents are for – to look after their children, often at the expense of their own well being.   Her duty was to keep a watchful eye on me and keep me from harm, and to let me be a kid.  And kids are boundless energy.

Once she tried to put a harness on me and discovered I completely wound myself up in it the one second she looked away.  That was the end of that.  Instead both parents taught me to know restraint by using my brain, so I sat still on buses, and did not run off across the street.  They taught me to respect other people and their property so I restrained my curiosity and used my imagination instead.

I know that how I feel is an unpopular stance, but I think too often parents are only thinking of themselves and their own well being and forget what it means to be a child.  Let your children be free, and let them be children.  We restrain them in so many ways, not just with strollers.  They cannot explore or run, or even be on their own.  They miss all the magic and fun of growing up.

Let them be kids this Christmas.  I know for many it is too late.  They will spend all Christmas staring at blue light, instead of merrily ripping open pretty packages and delighting in toys and play.  Will there even be a Christmas tree?  Or music and laughter and dancing?  Will there be any activity other than fingers skipping madly over keys?

Throw away your strollers, open up the door and go out in the snow.  Have a snow ball fight, build a fort.  Decorate a Christmas tree.  Play with your children.  You might just find the kid in yourself once more.

Remember the true meaning of Christmas.  This is the time a saviour was born.  It is a time to celebrate, be joyous and active.  The spirit fills many of us with cheer because someone came to save us from ourselves.  Jesus loved little children and admonished those who would not let them be who they are.  Check it out for yourself.

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Just Because

I am not a diamond girl, I am silver.

As a young woman, I would save up my money to buy sterling silver jewellery.  A long time ago (a long, long time ago!) I saved up gold bond stamps to get a sterling silver ring, and have used points cards.  I am frugal.

Nothing fancy, I like simple things.  I wore a plain silver ring with a few designs on it for a long time.  

Jewellery has not been my favourite form of silver however.  As I’ve gotten older I seldom if ever wear jewellery any more.

I once bought my Mother a silver bar for Mother’s Day that had a rose etched on it.  I like silver that is also art.  Stuff I could look at instead of wear.

Every year I by a maple leaf coin from our mint.  Nice classic design on a large coin.  As you know, maples hold a special place in my heart.

For my birthday I bought myself a silver coin I’ve been wanting for a year.  I could not afford it, but I did it anyways. (Black Friday madness – but I did save some $).  It has beautiful pictures of our countries flora and fauna on it.  It is a big coin – I like big!

I feel a bit guilty, as this is a luxury gift.  I appreciate the beauty of it however, and can gaze at a good work of art for hours.  It beats the heck out of the usual gift to myself of sock and underwear.  Definitely an upgrade from that!

So why ramble on to you about this?  Well, Christmas is coming (this coin is a dual purpose gift) and I want you to get yourself a ‘just because’ gift.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant, or practical or useful.  It is a gift to yourself because you are worth it.  

And perhaps if someone is asking what you would like as a gift, you will actually tell them what you want, and get your ‘just because’ gift.

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The Gift

I dusted off the case and opened it; the 3 sections of silver flute glistened from the backdrop of black velvet.  Ah.  At last.  I assemble the instrument and anticipate the moment beautiful sounds fill my ears.

For 8 long weeks I could not play the flute.  To do so resulted in coughing up my lungs for an hour.  I suffered a bad virus which incapacitated me in many ways beyond flute playing.  But it was the flute playing I missed the most.

Playing an instrument is therapeutic.  Even to play it badly, which is frequently my norm, is still relaxing.  I relied on it to dissipate frustrating days and to mellow my working mind to an evening of peaceful reflection.

The gift this Christmas was opening that box.  My neighbours probably were not so pleased.  I found it difficult to play at first and I’d forgotten some notes and fingerings. Slowly it all started to come back and by today I am at least where I was 8 weeks ago.  It is hard to advance much with just 25 minutes practice a day – but I am respectful of fellow tenants and limit my joy.  Otherwise, I’d probably be hours at it.

During the hiatus I satisfied myself watching You Tube flute instructional videos.  There are hundreds but I have my favorite and I was delighted to watch a lot of those.  I also watched videos comparing all manner of flutes from student to 3 times my annual salary and had my ears heightened to the differences in tone quality (and hence my budget considerations for a flute purchase just increased).

I look at my student rental and determine to make it sound like it is 20K.  Admittedly, I have difficultly making it sound as it should.  No matter, in my mind I hear hypnotic melodies, sometimes even symphonies.

I am enamored with music in much the same way as I once was with mathematics.  They are elegant languages, representations of things we cannot adequately put into words.  The symbols allow us to replicate complicated ideas, to interpret them in our own style, embellish them, expand on them.  I delight in the design and patterns formed by symbols and digits across a page.  There are ground rules, but from there you can soar.  From there is birthed art!

I sometimes regret not having studied music in my youth, but perhaps it would have gone the same route as mathematics.  Two things conspired to make me abandon that subject; women didn’t do math in the 1960’s and they made math so boring.   Thus I was highly discouraged to continue but this was not such a hardship, as the way they taught math made it exceedingly mind deadening.  I was curious and creative and that does not fit rote and memorization.  I found this to be a bit true when I took music lessons, and I got a little discouraged by that.  I am not well suited to sit and shut up and just memorize.  I want to make it mine!  I want to take it places!

I put my flute away and face another week of work, very grateful that I have had these few days to rest and do the things I love.  My cat takes one last swat at the metronome and all is quiet.

 

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Your Calling

I was asked recently “How do you receive your calling?”, to which I glibly replied that God no longer calls, He texts.

It has some truth to it.

I think it is very rare that a person has an a-ha moment.  I always wanted one.  The fire of God just hits me and POW I know who I want to be and what I should be doing.  The truth however is a lot less dramatic.  I walked around with my mouth half open, looking pretty stupid and not having much direction at all.  I did a lot of hoping, wishing and praying.  Only to find that the a-ha has been right in my face all along.  I should have seen it too – I am very nearsighted!

Since most of us have no clue what a true version of ourselves is, we need to let God work that out.  And when it is you are likely to remark “I knew that!”, and maybe feel a little stupid afterwards.  Sometimes your calling doesn’t exist yet in the world, and you have to wait for it to appear.  Maybe you are already living it and don’t realize it.  You are tired of it and want something new.  Or maybe you simply can’t believe it, or think it should be something else, something better.  Perhaps others tell you what it should be.  Many times, a calling is not a grand affair, but it has a great impact on the world, perhaps many years later in the future.  A calling is not what you think it is.  But it all works for God.

My life story is not an arrow, it is a convoluted, messed up, child’s crayon squiggles across a ripped up, yellowing piece of construction paper.  That is my journey.  Step forward.  Steps backward.  Lessons learned and most forgot.  There is no point A and point B.  I’ve been all over the map.

For me, my whole miserable adult life was a journey back to childhood.  I knew who I was then.  I just forgot and had to make a 40+ year trip to get back there.  Sound familiar?

But this trip is not about years or age.  It is about mind.  The constant renewing of my mind.  There is no “Hello, this is God, do this”.  I have had an ongoing dialogue of which God knows the direction of, the things to be addressed and how long it will take, taking into account how stubborn I am.  No doubt I delayed the process by being a mule at times.  Shutting myself off to new ideas and experiences, just plain getting tired of it, clinging to the past, living for the future, and having my own ideas (UGH!).

Life is an ever present unfolding, an evolution, a constant movement of things in and out.  All these things offer delights; a lesson, a message, an emotion, an experience.  They are all gifts to be embraced and enjoyed.  Some will teach, some will reach, and others are just for fun.  God uses all of it to bring you to your highest self, and that just might be full circle back to where you started.

It is my wish this Christmas that you embrace your life and live it fully.  Allow God to guide you in your journey to your highest self.  Guidance and messages can appear anywhere.  Keep your eyes and ears and heart open.  Your calling is coming by text.  It says “Let joy be your reason”.  Follow joy in all your decisions and you’ll start to get on track.