Okay, I am going to be tough about this subject. Brutal.
I have in my life been depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but never to the point of planning my own demise.
But I have been the victim of others suicide and I mean, VICTIM. The innocent person who suffered the repercussions of others death wish.
Let me tell any of you that are planning such an act, why it is the most stupid, selfish, uncaring thing to do to others, and, to YOURSELF!
If you think suicide solves any problems, you are wrong, wrong, wrong.
If you think you are a burden to friends and family while you are alive, it ain’t NOTHING compared to when you take your own life. You burden not only all the people who loved and cared for you, but complete strangers. It is like you are pebble thrown into an infinity pond. You sink and are gone, but the ripple effects are wide and far reaching and extremely destructive, and last FOREVER. Forever is a long f’in time for those still living, as in, for the rest of their entire lives.
Not only is your death a shock, it is expensive. You burden your family with unexpected costs of funeral, and other surprise payments, such as paying back any benefits you received after your death, like GST. You may have taken away a much needed source of income and leave your family destitute. There are travel costs. Bills and debts to pay. Even if you have the best laid plans, with an up to date will and power of attorney, there is a hell of a mess to go through. The will has to be probated. Lawyers paid. You would not believe what and who come out of the woodwork after you are gone.
Beyond the financial hell, the lawyers, the funeral directors and a whole host of others you never knew existed, there is the shock, the PTSD to deal with. And deal with it, your friends and family and complete strangers will, EVERY single damn day of their lives. You will break friendships. Your relatives will have to explain your demise over and over. They will try to make sense of what you did. They will blame themselves and others will blame them! And they will never come to terms with it, never find closure. And sometimes, the grief will cause others to take their own lives. What about those who find your body? All the persons who have to clean you up? You cannot unsee those things, ever.
And what if you live and are disabled? Think about that!
The ONLY time I support suicide is if a person is facing a terminal illness with a bleak future in store, or is currently suffering a terminal illness, is in extreme physical pain with no hope of recovery, and because of that has no joy in living. Then I agree with assisted suicide. This gives everyone involved a chance to say goodbye, to get things in order. To have closure. To celebrate a persons life instead of being angry because they were never given any input into the decision.
Taking your own life is giving those around you the bird. It is the big F you. I’m in pain and to hell with the rest of you.
Don’t freeze people out of your life if you are suffering. Suicide is a long term and certainly not the best solution to problems. We are given obstacles to overcome, not to succumb to. It gives us resilience. It makes our lives and those we love so much better when we embrace our troubles and make the most of the hand we are given. Then we are an inspiration.
If you are religious then consider: I have set before you life and death. Choose life.
You think there is nothing to live for? Not your children? Your spouse? Your brother or sister or relatives? Your dog? Your best friend? Your houseplants? Your collections? Your stuff? Your guitar lessons? Cookies?
Take stock of what brings you joy. Imagine how much future you are going to miss by not being there.
There is a great deal of nothing for you after death. You cease to exist. Think about what that means exactly. You never get to experience anything, ever again. Anything. And living is about experiencing things. There is so much to do in this world, in this life!
I know that when you are caught in suicidal thoughts you become very self centered and it is hard to think outside of yourself. BUT YOU MUST. These thoughts WILL pass. Get help. When you are gone it is FOREVER. There is no coming back. There is no nothing for you any more.
Turn your thoughts to something you love and how much you would miss that. My cats always brought me back from bad thoughts. I’ll never pet them again. Hear their purr. Enjoy their funny personalities and quirks. And most terrifying of all – What would happen to them after I am gone?
I’d never get to see a sunset again. Or do gardening. Take a walk. Talk to my friends. Do art. Read. Make noise with my flute!
Look at what brings you life, then live it. Bad things are temporary. Believe me. I have lived through many bad things that I thought would never stop. How could you not want to experience another sunset. Another walk on the beach. Another kiss from your lover. Another new book to read.
Things look bad in the moment but –
My Mother always said, “Things will look different in the morning.”
Words to LIVE by.
Amen to that!
