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Punk It

When I was 15 or so, I was invited to a rather unusual birthday party. It was an impromptu, spur of the moment invite from a fellow I barely knew. But I was curious, so me and a couple of friends checked it out.

We heard music blasting a block away on a chilly spring evening and approached the ‘birthday house’ with trepidation. It was music I had never heard before, loud, angry and screaming!

We were escorted into a basement crammed with colourful characters. There were a few mohawk hairdo’s, body piercings, neon dyed hair, and strange attire.

This was Punk.

The birthday was a high energy, loud celebration that was fury, not joy.

I wondered what everyone was so mad and unhappy about, especially at a birthday party. But I couldn’t find out, I couldn’t talk to anybody, the music was louder than a rocket launch.

The fellow who invited us pleaded with me to stay at least until the cake was served.

Suddenly, the music was silenced and people burst into the traditional Happy Birthday song. I was relieved to hear the familiar tune, and happy to see smiling faces. But it was only a fleeting reprieve. A candle less cake arrived, coated in a sickly green icing with cigarette butts stuck in it – among other things.

After a polite refusal of cake, my friends and I hightailed it out of there, convinced that once the music started back up, police sirens would not be far behind.

Fast forward to today. I read a book about the 1980’s punk scene (We’re Not Here to Entertain)and according to the author, boy, was my perception wrong. To tell the truth, I really didn’t have much of any kind of opinion, other than punk was weird, unquestionably hostile and more than a bit scary, based on that single episode in my life. I never gave it much thought after that.

My teenage world was the total opposite of punk. I didn’t understand their rage. But it appears that they were disaffected youth, just like my somewhat hippie upbringing – mad at our leaders, disappointed with our government, upset with events in the world, terrified by the nuclear war threat, sickened by environmental issues, unloved by parents and peers, and feeling powerless. Punk rockers screamed their hostility, while I quietly squirrelled it away. They rebelled and I surrendered.

I could never be like punk rockers, I never fully embraced hippie rebellion either, but I have a new respect for their ‘in your face’ resistance to an unfair and often corrupt system in which we must live, navigate and ultimately, survive.

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A New Way of Thinking

Recently I completed an on-line course on Environmental Law, and once again, I am blown away. I am trying to pursue subjects that I had zero or little interest in for various reasons and I highly recommend you try also.

I had no understanding of the legal process and held uninformed opinions and prejudices about laws, lawyers, etc. I thought legalese was gobbley gook that only those who could endure years of study were able to understand. That part is true, it is gobbley gook and it does take years to fully grasp it, but for a good reason. Laws have to be very precise and have universal meaning, that is, to enable identical interpretation the world over and be effective. This is what good lawyers and policy makers do, they look for weak areas, to exploit or remedy. And good institutions work hard to ensure they can enforce what they are assigned to do, in this case, to legally protect the environment. Judges ensure that all players in the game are following the rules to the letter.

But there is so much more to law than mumbo jumbo. This was a fascinating course for two reasons. First, an understanding of how laws work, the institutions developed to uphold laws, what judges really do, and how all this is applied to real world cases. And it examined some shocking environmental issues and abuses. Interesting enough. But the second, and greater value from this course was developing a new way of thinking.

When I left the administrative secretarial work force and became a medical secretary, it was as if I left earth and landed on Pluto. Everything was entirely different. They spoke a strange language. Office procedures were entirely foreign. Oh sure, you still operated a computer, typed and answered phones, but this was a whole new and much higher level of being, doing and thinking. When you first work in the medical field, your head goes tilt-tilt-tilt.

And this is what this course did for me. It took me to a whole new way of thinking. I had to not only change gears, but change vehicles.

So if you really want to expand your present awareness, to learn how to understand, analyze and interpret the world around you, take a course, read a book, sign up for an experience.

It not only adds to your knowledge, but it’ll shake up your opinions and beliefs. It’ll expand your world view. When it comes to what you think you know about life, the universe and everything, you might just find you had it all wrong.

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It is a long time ago now, but I remember this photograph well.

At the time this was taken, I was an avid photographer, to say the least. I took pictures of everything, and in return, people took many pictures of me, perhaps in revenge! I made photo albums, those horrid self stick pages, good grief! And I would add captions that proved to be, sometimes, unpopular.

The above, with that caption, set me up for mockery.

At the time I was stunned by the backlash, because I was in no way trying to be pretentious, at that age, I didn’t even know what that meant. I was just simply stating a fact. Sure, I had lots of creative interests that I wanted to pursue, but I was a writer first and foremost and I didn’t doubt myself at all. I never questioned it. It was an activity I did every single day. I wrote hundreds of stories. I thought everyone else knew who they were too and should just say so.

Yep. Pretty pretentious!

That was the day I started shrinking from who I am. Over time, my real self was nearly totally eroded by the well meaning and maybe not so well meaning direction of others. As a result, I was miserable most of my adult life. I never successfully integrated into any field of endeavour, failed at every employ and relationship I had, and was LOST.

If you can remember who you are, live it. It is not that it is never too late, but why spend any of your precious time and life trying to be something you are not. My adult life was just one big embarrassment because I was a jagged square peg trying to fit into round holes.

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Luck

In all the years I’ve been around, all the years I’ve struggled and been frustrated, I have come to the conclusion that luck is probably the most important ingredient in any success story.

Luck supersedes most everything else, because without it, all else you do is null and void.

You can work your ass off and never be recognized or rewarded. You can strive until hell freezes over and not be one iota closer to your goals. You can have limitless talent and go nowhere.

You can pray and say hail Mary’s, light candles and be a regular church and God devotee and your hopes and dreams may never materialize.

You can subscribe to all the courses, read all the books, make vision boards, meditate, buy lotto tickets, network, brown nose and smile till your face falls off and not be one single dot closer to your hopes and desires.

You can use lucky charms, have a Patron Saint medallion, rub your fingers smooth on rosary beads or in my case, have Jiminy Cricket sitting at my computer screen grinning, and all you have is more things to dust.

Why?

Because luck has not kissed you.

Some people do jack shit all their lives and because of luck, have everything.

Oh how I wish I could tell you otherwise!

But that is life.

Oh to be Ferris Bueller!

Yeah, I’m a bit bitter about this.

I can tell you truthfully, whenever something great has happened in my life, I marvel, because it came about in such incredible ways, that I really had not much to do with and can take no credit for. Needless to say, I haven’t had much of it, but the few notable examples cause me to be awed.

I believe things are this way to prevent us from taking credit for our success and being egotistical jackasses about it. And to just piss us off.

So what to do?

The only thing you can do is be happy. Oh groan, how trite! But I am telling you the truth. Do what makes you happy. Be yourself.

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Hogshead

I watched the movie Across the Universe again last night. If you love Beatles music, and are somewhat nostalgic for the 1960’s, and remember the turbulent times, this is a movie to see. It is lavishly produced with startling imagery, and of course awesome music. Over the years I have revisited this movie many times, I do enjoy it, but there is one small detail that has irked me since day one.

Isn’t it funny how one stupid thing can bug you?

So I’m going to say it here, and maybe it’ll stop bugging me.

I love Mr. Kite and the interesting visual effects of this part of the movie, but in reference to the song lyrics ‘…lastly through a hogshead of real fire…’ the movie has an actual pigs head. No! A hogshead is a large barrel, not a pigs head!

It has annoyed me for years.

There. Got it out.

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You Are NEVER Going to Feel Like It

Got something that needs to be done?

Something you want to do?

But you are waiting, waiting for the right moment. Or when you feel like it. Or for permission?

I tell you now. You are never going to feel like it. The only person who can give you permission is you. And the only right moment is now .

One afternoon while I waited to have an X-ray, two women sat across from me. They were an interesting contrast. One lady sat straight in the chair, looked to be about fifty. The other, her friend, slumped over her knees and was probably about thirty.

The slumped lady was confiding to her friend that she really wanted to go back to school and get a degree in psychology, and her friend was providing her with all the reasons why she couldn’t and shouldn’t.

I wanted to speak up but I didn’t. I went back to school after nearly ten years and got my degree in biology, so I wanted to tell her to go for it. And I have since regretted I didn’t go further and pursue more courses.

This woman wanted permission. Oh how I can relate to that! Most women are taught to seek approval before we act.

So if you want to do something. Do it. Because you are never ever going to feel like it. It’s never going to be the right time. Few are going to be on your side. You have to just shut up and do it.

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Do You Want to Change?

For a good portion of my life I was the self-help Queen – I read every self-help book there was, took lots of courses, attended many seminars. All that motivational, improve yourself stuff only helped me marginally, and that is being generous. Mostly, it emptied my pocket and made others rich.

Do you want to change?

Here is how.

Get rid of all your self help books.

Go to ground zero. Accept yourself right now, as you are, warts and all. The books are wrong. Motivational speakers are wrong. There is nothing wrong with you that the following can’t fix.

Education: Instead of reading self help junk, read about subjects you don’t know anything about; history, aeronautics, architecture, psychology, mechanics, biology, the list is endless. Read biographies. Read all kinds of fiction. Watch documentaries. Check out your library – so much for free! Take courses on-line with EdX and Coursera (from Universities all over the world, for free!!) Fill your mind with all kinds of interesting stuff.

Experience: Get out there and try things. See things. Go to museums and art galleries. Visit different lands, experience unique cultures and talk to people. Go to university lectures and seminars. Go to concerts. Symphonies. Theatre.

Listen: When people talk, hear what they are saying. You will learn some unexpected things!

Be open: Say YES to life and enjoy all it has to offer. Keep an open mind. Be optimistic. Find the good in the bad. Let go of your opinions and judgements.

All of this will magically do a zillion times more than any self help book.

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Adopt a Granny

Did you know that in Canada there are over two million senior citizens living on $18,000 or less per year? That is, 15% of all seniors live in poverty.

Can you live on 18K or less a year?

A large percentage of these people are single and women.

If ten million dollars can be raised to support an illegal protest, then surely people could spare a hundred dollars or so a month to help a senior.

I have said it before. A small amount of money can make a huge difference in someone’s life. And it is often the lack of a bit of currency that denies people a decent life and robs them of their dreams.

I know seniors are not as cute as a puppy or as endearing as a child, but they are just as in need of housing, food, medicine, care and companionship.

You are probably not aware of a seniors needs. Adults tend to hide their poverty.

So if you know of someone, and it could be your own granny or grandpa, that could really benefit by you buying their medicine once in a while, pay their rent for a couple of months, buy their groceries for a few weeks, or just give them some extra cash to do with as they please, it’d really be appreciated.

Adopt a Granny today.

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Laundry

Laundry.

Ugh.

Ranks right up there with dishes, housework and throwing out the garbage. A hateful task.

But boy, can it pile up fast if you’re not paying attention. Suddenly you’re groping around for a pair of underware in your drawer and realizing, there ain’t none.

However, like all good laundry procrastinators, my excuse is, the pile has to age properly first.

I know.

Just shut up and do it!

I think what is much worse however, are the people who do their laundry and then let it sit in the laundry room overnight or, days, and never collect it. So inevitably someone else needs a washer or dryer and heaps the stuff on the counters. UGH.

I never go to our laundry room on Mondays, because after a weekend of such abuses, it is not a pretty place.

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Just Shut Up and Do It!

One of my motto’s for years has been Just shut up and do it!

I apply it to most anything I hate doing, am lazy about doing, have tantrums about doing and also, to things I love doing, but procrastinate.

It takes me much longer to think about doing something, than to actually do it.

I can waste days thinking about cleaning up a mess that when tackled, took only five or ten minutes to rectify.

I can let dishes pile up, when really, it only takes maybe twenty minutes to wash.

Sometimes, I admit, I like to torture myself and not do things. I have no idea why, except it feels a thousand times more wonderful when I finally just stop my whining and do it. Sort of like in romantic relationships where making up was worth the breaking up part.