Category: Joy

Posted on

A New Way of Thinking

Recently I completed an on-line course on Environmental Law, and once again, I am blown away. I am trying to pursue subjects that I had zero or little interest in for various reasons and I highly recommend you try also.

I had no understanding of the legal process and held uninformed opinions and prejudices about laws, lawyers, etc. I thought legalese was gobbley gook that only those who could endure years of study were able to understand. That part is true, it is gobbley gook and it does take years to fully grasp it, but for a good reason. Laws have to be very precise and have universal meaning, that is, to enable identical interpretation the world over and be effective. This is what good lawyers and policy makers do, they look for weak areas, to exploit or remedy. And good institutions work hard to ensure they can enforce what they are assigned to do, in this case, to legally protect the environment. Judges ensure that all players in the game are following the rules to the letter.

But there is so much more to law than mumbo jumbo. This was a fascinating course for two reasons. First, an understanding of how laws work, the institutions developed to uphold laws, what judges really do, and how all this is applied to real world cases. And it examined some shocking environmental issues and abuses. Interesting enough. But the second, and greater value from this course was developing a new way of thinking.

When I left the administrative secretarial work force and became a medical secretary, it was as if I left earth and landed on Pluto. Everything was entirely different. They spoke a strange language. Office procedures were entirely foreign. Oh sure, you still operated a computer, typed and answered phones, but this was a whole new and much higher level of being, doing and thinking. When you first work in the medical field, your head goes tilt-tilt-tilt.

And this is what this course did for me. It took me to a whole new way of thinking. I had to not only change gears, but change vehicles.

So if you really want to expand your present awareness, to learn how to understand, analyze and interpret the world around you, take a course, read a book, sign up for an experience.

It not only adds to your knowledge, but it’ll shake up your opinions and beliefs. It’ll expand your world view. When it comes to what you think you know about life, the universe and everything, you might just find you had it all wrong.

Posted on

Author

Author

It is a long time ago now, but I remember this photograph well.

At the time this was taken, I was an avid photographer, to say the least. I took pictures of everything, and in return, people took many pictures of me, perhaps in revenge! I made photo albums, those horrid self stick pages, good grief! And I would add captions that proved to be, sometimes, unpopular.

The above, with that caption, set me up for mockery.

At the time I was stunned by the backlash, because I was in no way trying to be pretentious, at that age, I didn’t even know what that meant. I was just simply stating a fact. Sure, I had lots of creative interests that I wanted to pursue, but I was a writer first and foremost and I didn’t doubt myself at all. I never questioned it. It was an activity I did every single day. I wrote hundreds of stories. I thought everyone else knew who they were too and should just say so.

Yep. Pretty pretentious!

That was the day I started shrinking from who I am. Over time, my real self was nearly totally eroded by the well meaning and maybe not so well meaning direction of others. As a result, I was miserable most of my adult life. I never successfully integrated into any field of endeavour, failed at every employ and relationship I had, and was LOST.

If you can remember who you are, live it. It is not that it is never too late, but why spend any of your precious time and life trying to be something you are not. My adult life was just one big embarrassment because I was a jagged square peg trying to fit into round holes.

Posted on

Luck

In all the years I’ve been around, all the years I’ve struggled and been frustrated, I have come to the conclusion that luck is probably the most important ingredient in any success story.

Luck supersedes most everything else, because without it, all else you do is null and void.

You can work your ass off and never be recognized or rewarded. You can strive until hell freezes over and not be one iota closer to your goals. You can have limitless talent and go nowhere.

You can pray and say hail Mary’s, light candles and be a regular church and God devotee and your hopes and dreams may never materialize.

You can subscribe to all the courses, read all the books, make vision boards, meditate, buy lotto tickets, network, brown nose and smile till your face falls off and not be one single dot closer to your hopes and desires.

You can use lucky charms, have a Patron Saint medallion, rub your fingers smooth on rosary beads or in my case, have Jiminy Cricket sitting at my computer screen grinning, and all you have is more things to dust.

Why?

Because luck has not kissed you.

Some people do jack shit all their lives and because of luck, have everything.

Oh how I wish I could tell you otherwise!

But that is life.

Oh to be Ferris Bueller!

Yeah, I’m a bit bitter about this.

I can tell you truthfully, whenever something great has happened in my life, I marvel, because it came about in such incredible ways, that I really had not much to do with and can take no credit for. Needless to say, I haven’t had much of it, but the few notable examples cause me to be awed.

I believe things are this way to prevent us from taking credit for our success and being egotistical jackasses about it. And to just piss us off.

So what to do?

The only thing you can do is be happy. Oh groan, how trite! But I am telling you the truth. Do what makes you happy. Be yourself.

Posted on

Hogshead

I watched the movie Across the Universe again last night. If you love Beatles music, and are somewhat nostalgic for the 1960’s, and remember the turbulent times, this is a movie to see. It is lavishly produced with startling imagery, and of course awesome music. Over the years I have revisited this movie many times, I do enjoy it, but there is one small detail that has irked me since day one.

Isn’t it funny how one stupid thing can bug you?

So I’m going to say it here, and maybe it’ll stop bugging me.

I love Mr. Kite and the interesting visual effects of this part of the movie, but in reference to the song lyrics ‘…lastly through a hogshead of real fire…’ the movie has an actual pigs head. No! A hogshead is a large barrel, not a pigs head!

It has annoyed me for years.

There. Got it out.

Posted on

Do You Want to Change?

For a good portion of my life I was the self-help Queen – I read every self-help book there was, took lots of courses, attended many seminars. All that motivational, improve yourself stuff only helped me marginally, and that is being generous. Mostly, it emptied my pocket and made others rich.

Do you want to change?

Here is how.

Get rid of all your self help books.

Go to ground zero. Accept yourself right now, as you are, warts and all. The books are wrong. Motivational speakers are wrong. There is nothing wrong with you that the following can’t fix.

Education: Instead of reading self help junk, read about subjects you don’t know anything about; history, aeronautics, architecture, psychology, mechanics, biology, the list is endless. Read biographies. Read all kinds of fiction. Watch documentaries. Check out your library – so much for free! Take courses on-line with EdX and Coursera (from Universities all over the world, for free!!) Fill your mind with all kinds of interesting stuff.

Experience: Get out there and try things. See things. Go to museums and art galleries. Visit different lands, experience unique cultures and talk to people. Go to university lectures and seminars. Go to concerts. Symphonies. Theatre.

Listen: When people talk, hear what they are saying. You will learn some unexpected things!

Be open: Say YES to life and enjoy all it has to offer. Keep an open mind. Be optimistic. Find the good in the bad. Let go of your opinions and judgements.

All of this will magically do a zillion times more than any self help book.

Posted on

Temptations

Ah, it is January and you’ve made New Year resolutions once again.

My condolences.

Temptations are going to happen.

But here is what I learned about temptations.

They are showing you that you have a repressed emotion. It is the emotion you need to address, not the temptation. Not the cupcakes, the potato chips, ice cream. Not the cigarettes. Not the distractions. Not your procrastination or so called weak will. These are stories that point to an emotion not acknowledged. These things make you feel something. It is not the craving or the longing or the resistance that you need to fight, it is the underlying emotion that you need to recognize, accept and love.

Temptations purpose is to show you something. Not defeat you.

They cause an emotion, and emotions never, ever, ever, ever, respond to logic.

Emotions need to be felt, and this is the tricky part. To allow your emotion, to accept it, on its own, without judgement, detached from the story of why you have it.

If you rehearse the story of why, and judge yourself, you are forever trapped in your emotions and temptation will defeat your best efforts. You will stay forever angry, or sad, or whatever you are feeling. The feelings are not wrong. Emotions are not wrong. They are energy that needs to be felt and released. It is only your judgement of them that makes them wrong.

Forget why you feel something.

To resolve your issue you must sit with it, by yourself. Quiet. Feel it. You will find that your emotion evolves, it may start out as anger but becomes sadness. I found the issue I had with overeating had many different emotions attached to it; anger, self loathing, worthlessness, boredom, feeling deprived etc. But if you focus on the ‘why’ stories attached to those you never get out of it.

However, a good cry does wonders. Just be careful you don’t stay at the self pity party too long. That is a story of why and is self defeating to say the least. Whenever you act out an emotion you need be very careful you don’t rehearse the story of why you feel it.

I learned that when I did bag boxing. Boxing is a fabulous stress reliever, providing you focus on the blows you inflict to the bag, and not the problem you are beating up. You are not punching your boss, you are releasing the hurt you feel. This is not about your boss, this is about your sadness. Keep your mind off the story and on what you feel. It is tricky to do. But like all things, practice makes it so. The punching bag also got a lot of hugs while I cried.

Rocky has no worries with this one.

So I learned it is better to sit quiet and locate the emotion in your body. Is it in your throat? Stomach? Legs? Where ever it is, focus on that and feel it until it gradually disappears. This has to be done every time you are triggered, and it does not matter if you succumb to the temptation confronting you the first few tries. Eventually you will no longer have the desire to fulfill the craving or longing, or to resist. It goes away.

This is very hard to do. It requires a lot more effort than just lacing up your running shoes and going to the gym. But the effect is a lasting one, and makes going to the gym for the long term that much easier. It is a whole lot better than padlocking your frig. A whole lot better than beating yourself up with guilt and shame.

And the side effect of this is, you will then make the right choices in your life. They will be love based choices, not fear based. You will respond and not react to situations.

Later you may learn why you feel certain things; for instance a past hurt, a rejection, homesickness, loneliness, worthlessness, and a whole host of victimhood stories from your past. But if you dwell on these stories and not allow yourself to feel your pain, without judgement, you will never be free.

It is called self love.

I have said this often before. If you use any of the above wisdom to do or justify something evil, to act out your rage on others, to harm anyone or anything else, you are not understanding and I will not condone your behaviour on any level.

Oswald Chambers said something very wise and I paraphrase: “The devil does not tempt us just to make us do wrong things, but on the premise of shifting our point of view.” Then we will be trapped in sin and not see the damage of it.

Worth thinking about the next time you are faced with temptation and where that might lead.

Posted on

Nat King Cole

My friend and I sat at a long curved table, that cupped a window with backwards lettering announcing it is a ‘Piano Bar.’ Unassuming, it was a tiny bar, tucked in between two imposing Federal Government office buildings. A long haired man, thirtyish, played a keyboard at our side. His singing was a bit nauseating, but after a few beers no one was really listening anymore.

Across from us was an older couple, maybe in their fifties. They looked like they didn’t have much money. They sat nursing one beer between the two of them.

The piano man asked if anyone would like to sing.

I could never be drunk enough to volunteer to do that, but the man sitting across from us stood up and we cringed. Yes, he’d like to sing. Sing for his beloved, he pointed to the woman he was with, who smiled a grin that was missing a few teeth. He wanted to sing Unforgettable. My friend and I looked at each other. This was going to be unforgettable for sure. We prepared to plug our ears.

The musician fumbled with his music scores, found it and started playing, while the man casually, easily picked up the microphone. He stood in the center of the room and looked fondly at his mate.

Then he opened his mouth to sing, on cue.

The voice that came from that craggy face, emanated from those bar worn lungs neath a shabby windbreaker was from Nat King Cole himself. My mouth dropped open, and the man smiled at me, knowingly.

He sang that one song and refused to sing any more. His girlfriend smiled affectionately at him as he sat down beside her.

He wouldn’t even take a beer from us.

What an unforgettable evening.

Posted on

Strange Sounds

In an apartment building you get to hear sounds not heard anywhere else in the world.

Lucky us.

Sometimes it sounds like someone is building an airport in their rooms. I have no idea what they are doing. I don’t want to know.

Many years ago, several times a week, a loud metallic banging echoed through our apartments. A few boisterous clangs and it would stop. This went on for over a year. No one could figure out where it was coming from, or what it was.

Eventually, the superintendent, with the aid of several office workers found the culprit.

Culprits.

A married couple were banging on the heating registers with metal pipes. No, not to clear air out of them. This is not the 1930’s. And they were doing it when it was 90 degrees out.

WHY?

God only knows. For fun I guess.

Life is very strange.

Posted on

No Speed

My zen practice today is my internet.

It is a good thing my computer is not part of a security base where I am responsible to notify people the bomb is being dropped.

By the time my computer warmed up, found the site, downloaded or uploaded or whatever the F it does for ten minutes while I wait and chant OM, the bomb would be old news, and they’d be paving our burial site with a new super highway. The year would be 2026.

The slowness of life cannot be matched with the sluggishness of a modern computer.

It’s a good thing we still make pens and lined paper, otherwise I wouldn’t have a single book written.

I don’t wait well. Many places and many times I have been sure to reach old age, possibly even death before what I’m waiting for arrives. Computers, buses, miracles. I wait until there is a layer of dust on me.

Yet, sometimes I am late too. And this drives me more nuts than me waiting!

Posted on

Joyful Pee

My cat loves his litterbox.

He enjoys going toilet more than most anyone or any creature I know.

Going for a pee or pooh is a theatrical production starring Sam.

He announces the upcoming performance with meows, then launches into a tear around the house at fifty miles per hour, skidding over floor, scattering rugs, upending anything standing, artwork and paperwork strewed.

He lands in the litterbox and rolls in it. He digs and digs. Rolls some more. Goes out for another run around the apartment. Rolls and digs some more.

And then finally, finally, relief!

Finished off of course with more digging (fortunately no more rolling!) and a finale of running around the house and rearranging all that you put back in place.

He has a lot more fun going to the bathroom than I do.

But I’m not about to run around the house and splash in the pool (my litterbox).