Category: Joy

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Waiting For January 2nd

It is hard to not make New Years Resolutions.

The same force that compels us to have the Christmas spirit is the same that makes us want to promise all kinds of things for next year.  It is not our fault.  It is a very real energy.

When all that energy wears off however, usually by January 2nd, we wonder, what were we thinking?  We spent way too much money, ate till we near burst and we made resolutions that will inevitably just not happen.

The reasons why we don’t change, can’t change or won’t change is because it is no fun.  

I stopped making resolutions many years ago because I got tired of beating myself up.  They are very ego bruising.

We are pleasure seeking creatures, like most animals, we don’t excel with misery.  If resolutions mean work, well, that means misery and that means we are not going to do them, at least, not for long.

Therein are the secrets to keep resolutions, after the thrill is gone of making them. The first secret is to make them pleasurable.  We make everything tedious work.  Make it play and you will easily do whatever needs to be done – well, almost.  You may need a bit of discipline once in a while, after all, old habits die hard.  However, if you continually make it an effort, you are done, you won’t budge, you won’t do it.  The second secret is to be open and try many things.  There is always more than one way to an end.  And trying many things – guess what – is fun!

Exercise.  Ugh.  How many of us are going to make that promise?  Off to the gym we trudge like we are doomed.  Who says exercise has to be the gym?  There are hundreds of different ways to get physically fit.  You could try every single one of them and still have plenty of choices left for next year.  Perhaps one of them will click with you and you will – oh my goodness – enjoy it so much you’ll keep going!  You can walk, run, swim, do karate, ballet, boxing, rowing, tennis. . . or do everything if you have the energy!

Diet.  Oh, how many times have I been down this dead end.  And hated every single minute of it.  Instead, I learned how to cook healthy and found healthy foods I actually enjoy eating.  There are many ways to get into the spirit of good food – cooking classes, seminars given by nutritionists, beautiful healthy food cookbooks and magazines, the internet is bursting with thousands of recipes and ways to make your favourite foods with substitute ingredients for all the bad stuff.  And I also learned to like my body, lumps and bumps and all.  It is way better to feel good inside than to look like a model.  When I feel healthy and strong, well, I’ve met my goal!

Changing a personality trait or behaviour can also be fun as you try on new ways of being.  We are very flexible and adaptable creatures.  As always, I only support positive changes never destructive ones.  There are infinite ways of being a better person than you are now.  But perhaps, you are already good enough.  None of us are perfect.  Maybe you are trying to be who you are not – somebody else – and forgetting what a great person you already are.  Any destructive behaviour however, is worth making a resolution to change it for good and forever.  Not just for you, but for everyone.

My only thoughts for the New Year are to keep on doing what I love and do more of what matters to me.

No, I’m not going to make a resolution now.

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Animals Are Not Humans

I want people to know this when they bring home a pet this Christmas, or at any time.  Animals are not humans.

So many people expect their pets to behave as a human would.  Now sometimes they do.  Mostly, they do not.  I ask you to allow your pet to be who they are and enjoy their perspective on life.  Maybe even learn a thing or two from it.

Many animals are simply not meant to be domesticated.  Exotic pets are not pets, they are animals far removed from home, and this makes my heart very very sad.  How much better to leave them in the wild and enjoy them from a distance.  It is mans nature to want to own things and collect things and when this extends to wild animals I am uncomfortable with it.  Some animals have a truce with us, such as cats and dogs and the like.  But others do not belong in our human world.

If I had my way everyone would have to take a course on how to properly treat animals before they could have one.

All animals respond to love, and this is a trait shared with humans.  If you can only remember one thing, remember this.

If you treat your pet with love, you never tease or punish it, it will trust you and soon learn what is acceptable and not in your world.  Your job is to be a responsible person; to protect and provide for them.  In return you will have a companion like no other.

You have to adapt to their modus operandi to successfully blend your two worlds together so both of you are safe and loved.  Pets are meant to be companions, not slaves and forced to exhibit abnormal behaviours, to do tricks for you or wear costumes.  They need to be appreciated for who they are, and be certain, they will not change for you.

An animal can live well and be well adjusted if you understand and accommodate its needs.  You will be surprised at how well an animal can adapt to your environment when it is treated with respect and love.

Ditto, by the way, for humans.

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Tethered

Ahead of me a very old and tired looking man carries a big empty box with the word Stroller on it in large white letters.  He looks back, not at me, but at the woman and said stroller behind me, replete with screaming child, tethered securely in.

Strollers are a bad thing for children.  I realize, for many a busy, harried adult, they are a godsend.  But when these restrained children grow up, they are going to have plenty of leg, hip and back problems.

Strollers only compound a problem we already have with our youth, who sit for long periods of time in front of electronic devices.

Young children scream and squirm when in strollers because they need to walk, run and move around.  Sadly, I see many children who have now resigned to their fate and sit sadly in the stroller.  I have never seen a happy child in one.

As a child I walked everywhere with my Mom.  I loved stairs and would run up and down to my hearts content.  I am sure I wore my Mother out!  In later years she told me that it was the stair climbing that got to her the most.  She added however, that this is what parents are for – to look after their children, often at the expense of their own well being.   Her duty was to keep a watchful eye on me and keep me from harm, and to let me be a kid.  And kids are boundless energy.

Once she tried to put a harness on me and discovered I completely wound myself up in it the one second she looked away.  That was the end of that.  Instead both parents taught me to know restraint by using my brain, so I sat still on buses, and did not run off across the street.  They taught me to respect other people and their property so I restrained my curiosity and used my imagination instead.

I know that how I feel is an unpopular stance, but I think too often parents are only thinking of themselves and their own well being and forget what it means to be a child.  Let your children be free, and let them be children.  We restrain them in so many ways, not just with strollers.  They cannot explore or run, or even be on their own.  They miss all the magic and fun of growing up.

Let them be kids this Christmas.  I know for many it is too late.  They will spend all Christmas staring at blue light, instead of merrily ripping open pretty packages and delighting in toys and play.  Will there even be a Christmas tree?  Or music and laughter and dancing?  Will there be any activity other than fingers skipping madly over keys?

Throw away your strollers, open up the door and go out in the snow.  Have a snow ball fight, build a fort.  Decorate a Christmas tree.  Play with your children.  You might just find the kid in yourself once more.

Remember the true meaning of Christmas.  This is the time a saviour was born.  It is a time to celebrate, be joyous and active.  The spirit fills many of us with cheer because someone came to save us from ourselves.  Jesus loved little children and admonished those who would not let them be who they are.  Check it out for yourself.

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To Tell The Truth

I work fortunately, and unfortunately, a block from an art supply store.  Next to hardware stores and bookstores, this ranks as one of my financial undoings.

However, I am still somewhat frugal.  I amassed my supply of inks and pencils by buying a couple a week until I have the whole set.  It took a long time.

I applied the same thinking to buying my supply of winter socks.  Buy a pair every week until I had a adequate supply.  Ditto for food items I stock up.  I’m like a bear about to hibernate, or a squirrel I suppose.

Time goes by fast and next thing I know I have enough.  I don’t have to have everything all at once.  It is also kind of fun, collecting with an end goal in mind.

Some people can save up for things.  If I put money in the bank I find it way too hard to withdraw it.  It was so hard to earn in the first place.  So I budget how much I can spend per week on something, and then do it.  Unless a sale captures me!

The thing that put me in debt this year was my health.  That was a lot more dollars than a few colour pencils and ink.  If there is such a thing as good and bad debt, I suppose this is good.  But I’d rather have been in health and bought an SUV to tell the truth.

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Just Because

I am not a diamond girl, I am silver.

As a young woman, I would save up my money to buy sterling silver jewellery.  A long time ago (a long, long time ago!) I saved up gold bond stamps to get a sterling silver ring, and have used points cards.  I am frugal.

Nothing fancy, I like simple things.  I wore a plain silver ring with a few designs on it for a long time.  

Jewellery has not been my favourite form of silver however.  As I’ve gotten older I seldom if ever wear jewellery any more.

I once bought my Mother a silver bar for Mother’s Day that had a rose etched on it.  I like silver that is also art.  Stuff I could look at instead of wear.

Every year I by a maple leaf coin from our mint.  Nice classic design on a large coin.  As you know, maples hold a special place in my heart.

For my birthday I bought myself a silver coin I’ve been wanting for a year.  I could not afford it, but I did it anyways. (Black Friday madness – but I did save some $).  It has beautiful pictures of our countries flora and fauna on it.  It is a big coin – I like big!

I feel a bit guilty, as this is a luxury gift.  I appreciate the beauty of it however, and can gaze at a good work of art for hours.  It beats the heck out of the usual gift to myself of sock and underwear.  Definitely an upgrade from that!

So why ramble on to you about this?  Well, Christmas is coming (this coin is a dual purpose gift) and I want you to get yourself a ‘just because’ gift.  It doesn’t have to be extravagant, or practical or useful.  It is a gift to yourself because you are worth it.  

And perhaps if someone is asking what you would like as a gift, you will actually tell them what you want, and get your ‘just because’ gift.

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Come Play With Me!

Every day when I attempt to do my exercises, Sam my cat comes to help.  I am doing various poses for frozen hips and legs, something Sam does not suffer from.  At first I thought he just lacks understanding as to what I am trying to do, but I’ve changed my mind.  He is a lot smarter than me.

He reminds me that we adult humans turn every task into work.  We need to play.

As I do static exercises; hold a pose, much like Yoga, to coax my body back into alignment, Sam is busy undoing my best efforts.  He jumps up on my back, bites my toes, fiddles with my legs, nibbles on my fingers, licks my face.

He wants to play.  That is how he stays in alignment.  Constant free flowing movement, ridiculous positions, contortions of upper and lower body going in opposite directions.  Stretches that enable him to do the limbo under 2 inches into cupboards and under furniture.  Energy that propels him up in a couple of bounds to the highest perch and back down in one.

Sam knows how to have fun!

He is trying to tell me something when he perches on my back during a thoracic stretch.  When he bites my toes while trying to do a foot stretch.  Nibbles on my fingers while trying to do the corpse pose.

I get visions of jungle gyms, monkey bars, ropes hanging invitingly over swimming holes.  The mad splash from jumping into puddles.  The thrill of scaling fences and climbing trees.  Hop Scotch and skipping rope.  Sam says, yeah!  Be a kid again!

At the moment I barely survive static exercises.  My hips and legs don’t yield much yet.  For sure, I am not having any fun at this.

Meanwhile, purring madly, Sam is a pure delight of energy and fun, ready to mess up my best efforts of anything I claim as work.  He has a radar for the mundane, the boring, so whenever I get immersed in it, he is quick to thwart it.  Whether it be exercise, writing a report, washing dishes or studying, he soon disrupts it.

Come play with me!  He grabs my pen and off he goes!  A merry chase ensues that soon has me breathless and laughing (but not yet to the point of rolling on the floor – it takes me some time to get down there).  When the game is over, he head butts me and purrs deep into my soul.

Oh to be agile like him – well, for a few moments of chase when I forget myself – that is the adult serious self, I am.  Perhaps he is right, all my day should be full of merry chases and a little less of making everything a chore.

If you don’t own a pet, check out videos on You Tube of cats and dogs helping their owners do exercises to convince them they are not doing it right.  They seem to know better than us!

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Slow Hands

The times I really enjoy myself are when I am creating something; writing, drawing or photography because at those times I can work slowly and do something of quality instead of quantity.

The working world focuses on quantity at the expense of quality.  I think it is time, and wise, to get back to work based on quality.

We over produce.  Every day grocery stores throw out enough food to feed several cities.  There are huge automobile graveyards filled with brand new cars that no one can use.  Doctors allot 15 minutes or less to each patient.  There is no time to focus on one task and do it well, nor to take time.  There are unreasonable quotas and deadlines and for what?  Do we need to produce 10,000 Teslas in a week that there is no demand for?  Do we need to poison our land with chemicals to produce food we throw out?

We need to produce less.  Perhaps even take a lesson from some book publishers – create on demand.  That is, you order something and it is made for you, it does not exist until there is a demand for it. Talk about saving resources!  Do you know what happens to books that don’t sell in a bookstore?  They throw them out!  In the garbage!

We manufacture appliances and equipment so that they wear out in a short space of time so we have to buy new.  There is hype over the latest and greatest, new telephones and tablets every year – seriously – do we need that?  How many gizmos and gadgets do we use on those wasteful items?  Why such a big deal over electronic devices?  Devices that are difficult to recycle.  Telephones and cars and appliances were built to last not so long ago and were not over produced.

I read an article claiming we need more agricultural land and grow more crops because our population is growing.  We don’t need more agricultural land – we need to make better use of the crops we have – as in don’t grow so much and better distribute what we have – oh I know – politics!  Look what happened when Bob Geldof tried to feed the starving Ethiopians.  You should read his autobiography sometime (Is That It?)

Not so long ago the slow food movement began, advocating eating our meals more slowly, and actually enjoying the experience.  Well, I say we need a slow hands movement (I am not talking dirty, take your mind out of the gutter please).  I am advocating working for quality and not quantity.  Spending time talking to people and creating things of value that last.  Taking our time.  Not over producing for those fat cats called shareholders who demand more and more money.  Abolish quotas and deadlines.  Manufacture on demand.  Recycle everything.  Use our brains and talents, skills and experience, education and brilliance for saving our world and ourselves, and stop making more damn telephones, crap cars and junk.

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A Nice Idea

My cat Sam has a favourite toy which he has secretly stashed at least 50 of them somewhere in the apartment.  Every couple of weeks I buy him another one or two, and they also disappear in a short space of time.

He also has a good supply of pens, pencils and erasers, specially selected from my studio.

Like cats, we humans are collectors, we develop a fondness for an item and then have to have every possible form of it.  There are collectors of toy pigs, cat figurines, spoons, books, match boxes, Santa Claus dolls, you name it, people will collect it.

But collections can begin because we forget.  There in the store is an object that would be great to have, you buy it, and discover you already have it, maybe 2 or 3 times over already.

When you are young you can remember everything you possess, even the cans of food in your cupboard and paperclips on your desk.  Not when you age a bit.  Now I understand why I found 5 of any given item in my Mom’s house.  Why I find the same in mine.

I went through phases of deliberate collecting of favourite things, like most people do at some point in their lives.  Eventually you find a like minded collector and happily hand it all over to them.  My collections now happen because I forget, or I am winter stock piling.

When you get older, winter stock piling is not just a quirk, it is a necessity.  There are power outages, ice storms, illnesses that can prevent you accessing even the simplest of things.  Stocking up on heavy items before the snow falls is a good idea, like kitty litter, and necessities like toilet paper.  You have to be older to understand this.  I used to think my Mom was nuts doing that.  Sorry Mom!

The accidental collections are what bring me a good laugh.  When I get home with that prized kitchen gadget, tool, art supply or toy and discover I already have it, I laugh.  If it was an expensive item I can force a chuckle.

Fortunately I always find an eager recipient to relieve me of overstock, or I donate it to goodwill.  As money gets tighter I do far less of what I call ‘excited shopping’ and try to stick to my list.

In all fairness to my forgetfulness, I remember items I use frequently.  I think you only need to worry if you start buying toasters and refrigerators, things you use every day.  Or bring home a new spouse or another kitty because you forgot you already have them, and thought it would be a nice idea.

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Fall Memories

I am blessed to live in a city that if you have feet, car, bicycle, or any other mobile device, you can be in some natural wilderness area in a short space of time.

At this time of year I look out from my balcony and see a patchwork quilt of oranges, reds and yellows with a touch of green rolling across the hills of popular large park, as trees change their colours and prepare for winter.  Aside from the occasional walk in the park next door, I never went to the big park in autumn, mostly because of traffic.

Instead, every year my Mom and I would rent a car on Thanksgiving weekend and go to the Highlands to photograph the fall spectacular.  The Highlands are a lot farther from home but are free of the tourists and crowds our nearby parks endure.

Everyone raves about the park I see from my balcony, only about a 20 minute drive, so one year I did do the prerequisite thing and visit a place near home.  The man I was dating at the time offered to drive me there and check it out.

At least a mile to the park entrance, we encountered a traffic jam.   An hour later we crawled through the park in a long stream of glittering metal.  It was not very enjoyable, so my friend decided to exit this.  He attempted to turn the car around, hit the curb and boom, a flat tire.  It was a memorable fall day.

I miss the days with Mom, now a long time in the past.  We always took a little lunch to eat, usually consumed quickly while shivering at a picnic table, or uncomfortably balancing cups and plates on the dash of the parked car while keeping the heater on.  When the weather cooperated I got some great photo’s of leaves, wildlife and scenery and I felt totally replenished by the time I trudged back to work at the end of three days holiday.

I have great memories of childhood autumns as we never raked up leaves and threw them away (my Dad was an environmentalist long before the green revolution). Our yard was carpeted in beautiful colours and every summer we had the greenest grass and the most flowers in the neighbourhood.

There were interesting creatures under that carpet of leaves and we were very respectful of  them.  Dad said they were doing their job and it was our job to leave them alone!  But we could look at them if we wished.  Each leaf put back exactly where we picked it up.

I guess that is why I now look at the way nature places things and see a work of art.

From my book Joy available from Amazon.com
From my book Joy available from Amazon.com
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Pumpkin Pie

The store a few blocks from where I work sells organic produce and homemade baked goods.  Every Thanksgiving there are several chemical free, homemade, personal sized pumpkin pies for sale that usually get snatched up quickly.  So I keep an eye out for them the week before turkey day.  Finally I am rewarded on Friday, but it was a close call.  The last pie was being thoroughly examined and pondered over by a woman next to me.  She’d never seen these cute little 4 inch pies before.  She made a good decision and set it back on the shelf.  In the blink of an eye, it was mine.

What is Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie?

My Mom used to make them from scratch, the poor soul.  We’d carve up the pumpkins and she’d do the rest from the goop we scooped out.  It was a happy day when canned pumpkin pie filling arrived in the stores.

I’m not that interested in cooking, as I watched my Mother slave in the kitchen day after day to feed us, and then clean up afterwards.  But  I do want to eat healthy so I eat mostly raw fruit and veggies.  I am ever watchful for chemicals in my food.  There is absolutely nothing natural about natural flavour.  I see this little phrase appearing more frequently in more types of food.

However, every once in a while I have a chemical day and indulge in cheesies.

My little pumpkin pie pales in comparison to my Mothers gigantic ones (and she made several), but it reminds me of home, my childhood and all that was right in the world.

It makes me grateful, and thankful for the good and nutritious and the bad and fun.  For my family, friends, my little life and Sam my cat.

Happy Thanksgiving.  May you have as many blessed memories as I do.