Category: Joy

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Free With a Price

I guess I must be strange, but when I go to a seminar, I actually want to hear what the speaker has to say.

I recently went to a free seminar on improving your retirement income. As a low income person, to have the opportunity to receive free financial advice from a seasoned professional is a blessing.

But as usual, that sentiment is not shared by many in an audience.

The man next to me loudly announced to a woman, who made the mistake of trying to chit chat to him about the topic before the talk started, that he had no intention or need to retire, that he LOVES what he does. So why are you here? To annoy everyone else I soon found out. He huffed and puffed, clicked his pen constantly throughout the talk, threw the free handouts we got on the chair next to him and sat defiantly with arms crossed.

There were many interruptions and of course, the self proclaimed experts in the audience that took liberties to answer questions for the speaker.

Sigh.

There are so few seminars I have gone to where no one is on their own agenda and respect the speaker and reserve their questions and thoughts until the end of the talk.

However, I did learn a few things, mostly that when it comes to financial advice, you really need a custom made plan as everyone’s life situation is different. And you need to get several opinions and ultimately, make your own plan. The people who could benefit the most are the low income persons, who can’t afford a financial adviser. However, there are free seminars!

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Living in a Sieve

John Cleese when asked why he went to the United States, replied, he had vowed that once he was able, to never be cold again.

I too have made that vow, but have not had the success of Cleese to do it.

Instead, I have an indoor winter coat.

It was once an outdoor winter coat, but being white, it looked terrific for about a month and then needed some serious cleaning.

So I retired it to where it would stay clean but still have purpose. To wear in my drafty apartment, where there are so many places the air gets in, it is like a sieve.

Living in a sieve is not so bad in the summer, I do not need air conditioning. I love my apartment because I have a big balcony and a very soothing view. But, damn, is it cold in here in the winter!

I have taken all the drastic measures to keep a north wind out; sealing the windows with plastic and tape, stuffing them with towels, blocking them with foam board and finally covering them with heavy duty curtains. I do what I can. The indoor temperature seldom gets above 70F, it hovers around 62-65 no matter what I do, usually for several months.

So I have my indoor winter coat.

You do what you have to do. I like where I am, but if I could afford better, I would – providing it has a nice balcony and view!

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Quiet Please

Sounds I like to hear.

A cat purring. Rain on a roof. Fall leaves rustling. Thunder. Wind through the pines. Waves lapping the shore. Birds singing in the morning. Crickets on a hot August afternoon.

Songs that remind me of better times. I can be stopped dead in a store by a song that comes on from the past.

A babbling brook. A train blowing his horn way off in the distance. A cats gentle meow. A lonely loon.

Silence. Yes, I like to hear nothing – it is a very rare thing to experience nowadays. Some nights there is a small window of time, maybe 20 minutes, where there is no noise at all.

If I had my way, we would have a mandatory noise free day once a month. People cannot mow their lawns, have radios on, fix their cars or homes. No traffic, no planes or trains, no sirens, no construction. Try to have a day that people can enjoy quiet.

But even the libraries are not quiet any more.

Having headphones on is not the same as open air quiet. Being outside in a quiet place is expansive.

Quiet please.

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Awe

Where I live I can watch airplanes coming in for a landing. When I was a little girl, my parents would take us to the airport to watch the big birds land. In those days, the airport was a strip of tarmac that ended abruptly in a field of long grass. This was of course where we parked our cars, with other on lookers and waited for the big event. Sometimes it was a long wait. Those were the days of no fences, not at airports, drive-ins or most anywhere else to keep us out.

We would be rewarded most times with that silver roaring bird passing over our heads with a great rush of wind, so close we thought we might touch it. Later we’d all head for Kelley’s Ice Cream shack, a place that seemed stuck out in the middle of nowhere, just like the airport.

Nowadays, you could never do these crazy things. It is a good thing. But something has also been lost in our safety first world. Awe.

Awe and wonder are the two things I remember most about my youth. The world was full of mystery. We had to experience things and try to figure things out ourselves.

Much as I love the ease of the internet (I was often frustrated trying to find information as a young girl, we only had small libraries, word of mouth, and teachers who had never been anywhere in their lives), I do miss the magic of discovery.

I do miss watching those airplanes come down over my head.

And the homemade ice cream!

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What If

I read an article on how journalists have to ask the President questions on the lawn while his helicopter is still whirring loudly in the background, and how this makes the press look disorganized and unprofessional.

So I ask. What if the press just didn’t show up. What if old POTUS lands and no one is there? What if we ignore him?!

Ha. Ha. I like the game of what if.

I think there is a whole lot of other people and things and stuff we should just ignore.

Not that they’ll go away, but just to show we don’t give a F any more what they say or do, or what their opinions are. Especially if they profess to be the chosen one.

We are now going to pay attention to the things that do matter. Pollution. Poverty. Animal welfare. The environment. Human rights. Big important stuff. Let’s get back to making positive changes in this world that benefit everyone and everything, regardless of who or what they are. Stop paying attention to nonsense because it is entertainment. There are people in the world doing good, let’s go listen. Let’s take action ourselves.

What if we did that?

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Plants

“It’s a jungle in here!”

I smiled, yes I do like plants. I signed the courier form and handed it back to him. The delivery man took a step back, then leaned forward, “I really like your apartment, I love plants!”

At the time I had a lot more plants than now, I was younger then. Over the years I’ve gradually reduced the number of my green friends, but I still couldn’t imagine not having any.

I’ve always had a dim view of people who do not like plants or animals. I like to surround myself with life.

My working and living spaces have always been like greenhouses. Plants are my meditation. Whenever I need a break I just sit and look at them. They are so still and yet so alive.

Unfortunately, once I was forced to get rid of all my plants at an office when a new Executive Director arrived. She also had our beautiful rooftop garden destroyed that volunteers and staff so lovingly tended. What kind of person does this? It broke a lot of hearts.

Of course my cat also likes plants, but for different reasons. He does fancy himself to be a jungle cat and hides in the foliage. What can be closer to heaven than sleeping in the dappled sunlight among plants and flowers, or nibbling on some fresh shoots of grass?

I need not get scientific to expound all the benefits of having plants in your environment. There is plenty of literature on that. For me, the benefit is joy. And joy is the only thing worth having.

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Open to Life

I just read Olivia Newton Johns’ book Don’t Stop Believin’.

She has an incredible life. If there is a key to an awesome life, she holds it. That key goes beyond the talent and good looks she possesses. What came through her story is she always says YES to life. Whatever comes her way, she embraces it, never resists what is.

She is Zen!

Many of us are selectively open to some things in life, but actively resist most everything else. Resistance causes a lot of suffering. Resisting what is, is a sure way to get more of it!

Embracing life means you’ll get more life.

Simple. Profound. And so hard to do.

Now you know how I feel about people going off to woo woo land and unfortunately that is where Olivia is now, but it works for her and she is happy.

All I take from her book is to be more open to life, and say YES to it whenever I can, embrace what is now and stop resisting what is.

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On Hold

Bruce Lee said “Choose a path with heart.” Very wise.

I recently read a book by a well meaning person, on how to become a millionaire by the time you are 30 or so, and then pursue your dreams. This sounds feasible to a young mind when you are healthy and energetic. Oh, but how quickly life can snatch away your life and abilities. At any age.

I suppose if you don’t have a passion or an interest, then by all means, go for the money. Just do good with it however.

Though I don’t disagree that life is not so great when you lack money, I do disagree with putting your passions on hold, or watering them down until you are rich enough to do them full time.

For one thing, there is no guarantee in life that you will live long, be able or be rich, no matter what you do.

For another, one persons get rich methods don’t always work for others. There is no one solution that fits all. And luck always plays a role in what happens. Always.

You should pursue your dreams when you are young. This is when you are most physically and mentally able and hopefully have many years ahead of you to learn, grow, perfect your craft, and evolve into other new and exciting passions. It is so much easier to do this when you are young and fresh. It makes life an adventure and a whole lot more interesting.

Some careers cannot be put on hold. You cannot become a surgeon after you are 35, and you certainly can’t pursue that part time.

I would never ever tell someone to pursue a meaningless, boring, soul sucking career just to maybe be rich enough to quit it by middle age. UGH. Are you kidding me?

You cannot determine what you want to do with your life based on money alone. We are already in a crisis with passionless people who did just this and are now our non compassionate doctors, greedy seedy lawyers and the lot.

Imagine if everyone quit their jobs at 35 and just sat around. Is this even feasible?

Or if people only did careers that brought them the best bang for their tuition.

When people enjoy their jobs, they enjoy their life and make the world a happier place. Have you ever dealt with someone who hated their job – like a surly waitress, and unkind clerk, an uncaring receptionist, a non helpful manager?

I am not saying being rich is bad. Never. I would like to be rich! But I want to be doing something I love, something that is honest, true to me, so I am happy. When I am happy, automatically I benefit the world.

Don’t put your life on hold. Life can be way too short – or way too long – before you do what you want.

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Laws

I watched an interview with Oprah about intention and the Law – it is all bullshit.

I love Oprah very much, she has done much good in this world, but I am sick of all this woo woo stuff, coming from anyone.

So called laws of the universe just don’t hold true for the vast majority of us, excepting maybe gravity. If the so called Law of Attraction and Intention worked, then most, if not all of us would have our fondest dreams. But life is NOT like this.

Laws in science often are over turned. There are no laws – only what our limited knowledge tells us now is the truth. It is often our own personal truth as opposed to universal truths. There are exceptions to every single thing we regard as truth.

These ways of being and doing work for some. Just like some diet fads work for some, or some fitness routines. One size does not fit all. Believing that it works for all, is setting yourself up for a lot of frustration.

I get very angry at evangelists expounding these ideas, they are NOT laws. These same people will beat you up when you fail – it is your fault if nothing happens because you did not believe enough. This is the same ploy religion uses and I hate it. It is not because you didn’t believe enough. It is not because you are hopelessly flawed and they are somehow better than you. Just stop that shit. It is just LIFE. Life is unpredictable. It goes where it wants. You have little or no control or say over it.

I have no idea why life is as it is. I have no answers or solutions or formulas. I only have what works for me. And I mostly know what doesn’t work for me, because I have never been able to find the magic bullet to fulfill my dreams. It seems as if life has me where it wants me.

Oh, I have been guilty of dreaming too that life is easy if you just have the right formula. It is bullshit.

The only thing I can say is that action will get you something more than doing nothing, and I believe strongly in that, because at least you did something and weren’t merely wishing. Experience as much as you can. Learn as much as you can. Stay away from woo woo land, and just wishing and hoping, it is all hype and will disappoint you. There are NO guarantees in life whatsoever no matter what you do. You can work your ass off and nothing happens. I do not know why. It just is.

Here is what I also know, since joy seems to be our main objective in life – just be yourself and don’t let others determine your path. Pursue your own interests and joys. There is no guarantee that your dreams will come true, there is no way to tell what the future holds. You can only live right now, and do what you can right now. Stop beating yourself up. If you are true to yourself at least you may have some joy, but maybe not. This is just life.

There is no happy money, no magic vibes, no matrix. I do not know what life is or why, but I know it does what it wants and we are not ever going to be privy to it.

Some ideas need to die. The Law of Attraction and Intention is one of them. It causes a lot of suffering.

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Two Holidays

As I get close to my annual holidays I feel like an old ship that has been out to sea a very long time and has been battling hurricanes non stop. Now without any power left, I coast into shore with only the currents and wind to guide me.

Every year the distance between annual holidays seems to get farther, longer, and a lot more painful.

To think, the younger version of myself often skipped annual vacations and took the pay instead!

We have just passed the first day of summer and now I long to be sitting in the long grass, watching the bugs and birds and whatever. Summer days can be mesmerizing and brings out the laziest parts of me.

As I look forward to a rest, I want to remind everyone to do the same. Take a break. Listen to the birds. Watch the clouds. See the big picture.

If you’re a planner like me, stop. Don’t plan anything and just let one day become the next. It will do you so much good to stop being your own worst enemy, and possibly everyone else’s too!

You don’t have to be anywhere, or do anything, or be anyone for a few short little weeks of the year. You don’t have to make big decisions (and shouldn’t), be zen or learn a new skill, develop yourself or seek a new career. You don’t have to be zip lining, cycling 100 km a day, or organizing an event. Turn yourself off.

I believe everyone should have 2 major holidays a year. One as described above, where you turn it all off and a second one where you turn yourself on – experience something new, go somewhere, try something. We need both in order to be healthy.