Shame

Recently I had what I thought was a mouth infection. Having worked for an optometrist, I equate it with conjunctivitis for the mouth. It wasn’t fun.

Now I went almost immediately for dental care, a bit of a wait as I was also about to receive my second covid shot. So I toughed it out for a couple of weeks to make sure the vaccine was in my system before I went to the dentist.

I reflected during that time on other medical emergencies and why I always hesitated to go for care.

Fear was only a small part of it.

Shame was the real reason.

How many of you have been shamed for being sick?

That is the reason I hate going to a doctor. Many of them have shamed me in the past.

This little gum affair – which turned out to be something entirely different, taught me this. Disease is NOT your fault. It is part of life. Everything on this planet eats everything else, and everything decays and dies. That is the unpleasant reality we live in. There is nothing you can do to prevent it. Eventually something will get you. Every living creature is subject to the same rule. It is NOT your fault.

We don’t deliberately go out into this world to get sick. It befalls us. We can live spotless lives and still get sick and yes, die. So for anyone (hello Mothers out there as well) to shame us for our physical misfortunes, they’d better watch out for karma.

My doctor and dentist do not shame me. I am fortunate. I have had specialists however shame me plenty, and treat me inferior for being a female, and now for being old.

It is wrong to shame anyone for misfortunes. Diseases befall us. Life and shit happen in equal measure. Just take a look at poor Job in the Bible. Yikes. He learned the same lesson. The terrible things he endured were NOT his fault, and his friends tried to shame him!

Be kind to yourself next time you are sick. It is just life happening. It is not your fault.

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