Do The Zen Thing

How’s your New Years Resolutions going?

Thought so.

You know why they don’t work? They suck. They are work. They are not fun.

Here is what happens.

Your mind is an impetuous little bastard that goes Oh! Gotta try this, gotta do that! Your mind goes all over the place and is instantly excited about most things. Excitement that melts away much faster than an ice cream cone. And it lies. More than Trump!

I am amazed at how fast my mind will convince me that this is it, this time it’ll work and blah, blah, blah. A lot of hot air, zeal and, well, hot air. This is where good ideas come from, and ultimately, where they go.

Things I have learned. Not to make New Year Resolutions. Not at any time of the year. Running after lofty goals because they look good is a mind thing that results in chasing clouds. Listening to your heart is a zen thing that will bring unexpected and long lasting change.

Your mind and heart play vastly different tunes on totally different instruments. My mind is a piccolo, my heart is a bass drum. When the mind goes off it plays a merry whimsical tune, and it is gone like a puff of air. My heart however speaks deep in my body, and whatever it wants is the truth and resonates throughout my whole being.

If you really want to change you have to do the zen. You have to sit with your cravings, your longings, your wantings, your challenges and find out what your heart has to say.

To do what the mind says, get your whip out.

Both take work. Ugh. And you have to do both.

Who needs more work? I already have nine to five shit five days a week. Who wants to do more work? Give me the money and die. Yeah, if only. Money can solve a lot of problems, but it can’t satisfy for long. Only the heart can give you what you really want. So ya gotta do the work.

Words without actions are just words. Actions without direction are just actions. Your heart will give you a lot of wisdom and direction when you sit with it and listen, but you need your mind to take action.

Stop chasing external things like losing weight, making a million dollars, finding the love of your life, and have a nice visit with yourself. Let your heart give you an internal feel good that you will know is the right thing to do. If you need a bit of extra sleep during the day, the heart can be reached through meditation. I wish it had a 1-800 number instead.

Blues and Blahs

There is only one way to overcome these nasty winter blues (or any depression for that matter). No it is not cookies, although I do admit, they help in a pinch.

Nope, the only way to beat the blahs is to try something new. Yep. Get out, even it is really cold out, go some place new.

Go for a walk, with your camera.

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is IMG_3771-768x1024.jpg

Go to the mall and try being really nice; talk to an elderly person sitting all alone. Purchase someones groceries for them, take someone out for lunch. Even if you get rejected it’ll be a new experience! Maybe even give you a laugh – later on. Maybe much later on . . . ahem. Just don’t take rejection personally. Some people are more nasty or depressed than you! At least you got out for a while.

If the great outdoors makes you shiver by just looking at your boots in the vestibule, and the thought of digging your car out of the snow, or worse, waiting for the bus (ugh, don’t get me started on that!) then do an indoor activity. If you can’t overcome the revulsion of being outside, cold and possibly wet too, then you have my permission to stay inside! But don’t just hang around and annoy the cat.

If you really want to do nothing, then meditate. You’ll probably fall asleep. I usually do.

But to break the self pity party scene you will have to do something that gets your nose out of your navel.

Take a free on-line course in something you never heard of before or know absolutely zip about.

Watch a movie or read a book that you thought would never interest you. Pick a subject that is new. Listen to music you never heard. Get out of your comfort zone.

Try a craft you have never done before. Make something for the animals in Australia.

Doodle. Draw or write something silly.

This is a good practice all the year.

Learn, experience and grow.

But cookies are still a good substitute when you really can’t get out.

Shortbread with a big pot of tea. With a good book. While the storm rages outside.

Getting Unstuck

I don’t like to make new years resolutions as I will quickly abandon my best intentions and then feel like a failure. Who needs that? I have plenty of opportunities to feel like a failure in my normal every day life. Mostly because I am doing a whole lot of shit I don’t like doing. New Years resolutions don’t usually involve fun, and that is why they don’t work. I already have enough of not fun in my life.

I suspect that many others have a lot of not fun too.

That is why so many determine to change their lives at this time of year.

But boy, life can sure try to keep you where you are at.

Why is that?

Despite our longing to be free, our supreme desire to be different, our yearning to follow our passions, we fail to get a breakthrough. It isn’t for lack of persistent trying. Many have pushed and pushed and come up empty. We never hear about the failures, only the success stories. I think hearing only one side of the equation makes people feel very very bad and sets them up for unrealistic expectations.

But I am definitely not saying don’t try, to give up before you even start, because you might be one of those success stories. At the very least, you will have learned something and got some valuable experiences. It is sad however, that most of us never get the lasting changes, the highs we want.

I know I often talk about failures, only because I think to fail is more realistic an outlook than success.

I do know that even when you do try, you still have regrets. I hate it when people say to me “Well, at least you tried. At least you did it”, implying that having just pursued a dream is good enough. It is not. Anyone who has pursued their dreams and failed know this. You still have regrets, maybe even more regrets because you failed. Your dreams are a big part of who you are, so they leave deep wounds. It touches your identity. It can make you lose hope.

The best advice I can give myself is to look for joy. Joy can be found anywhere in most everything. It can be extremely small and yet fill your heart with warmth. It may not change your world, but it will change the moment. If you can find joy in the moments it can help get you through all the rest of the shit you must endure to stay alive.

Getting unstuck from bad situations can take a long time, and I think we get disheartened because it takes so long. We are quick fix creatures, so we need a lot of Zen to make things happen.

I think you need to know what it is that you really want. Not the external stuff like houses, cars, money. But the inside deal – freedom, peace, love, that kind of stuff. If you know what it is you truly want, then maybe you can match your experiences to that, and find it, and keep it and change your world.

So don’t set any resolutions. Just try new stuff, new experiences and look for joy and endure another year. Maybe you are closer to success than you realize.

At least, that is what I keep telling myself.

70 is NOT the new 65

Anyone who says 70 is the new 65 is not even close to being 65 yet.

My health started to give me attitude in my late 50’s despite me being athletic, active, eating healthy and all the rest.

It is called aging.

I think we are developing a dangerous skewered view of aging that is similar to the warped view of entrepreneurship when you are old.

The media highlights the success stories, which gives us the idea that all you need to do is work at it and you can stay healthy and young forever.

I agree that ‘working at it’ increases the odds in your favor to be healthy as you grow older, but it is not a guarantee. Yes, you should do all you can – but when you get older, your body WILL have other ideas, no matter what you do. It slows down, it loses ability and agility, it gets ill, it dies. I have seen so many people in denial about this who torture themselves to cheat death.

Society has bought into this New Age crap about mind over matter, positive thinking and all that shit, and it is causing us to be more youth orientated than ever. We have a very flippant and unforgiving attitude towards aging that is doing serious harm to the elderly.

It is an unfortunate lie to presume that aging is all in your head – that it is just a number. It is not. Your body wears out. You cannot do what you could at 20, 30 or even 40.

Look at the real world, how many seniors can you truthfully say are younger in body than in age? We only hear about the exceptions, the ones who defy aging – they are in the minority. The truth is not so rosy.

The dangerous part of this thinking is that it could set in motion policies designed to cut out or delay necessary help for the aged, namely medicare, pensions, government assistance. Saying that 70 is the new 65 implies that all seniors are able to keep on working and take care of themselves, this is so far, far from the truth.

Equally so is the fallacy that when you are old you can just start over when you are cast out of your job and deemed redundant. Many do not have the resources to do this, nor the energy or health. It costs a lot of money, time and energy to start your own gig, and if it fails, like most of them do, seniors have no way of recovering what they have lost. Even to keep working 8 hours or more a day, 5 days a week takes a hell of a toll on an older person. They can’t keep it up.

The truth about aging is this: Our bodies deteriorate, no matter what. We cannot do as much as we used to. Our ability to recover from loss; mentally, physically, financially is almost ZERO.

Before I got sick, I used to think the same way, that aging was all in your head. That I could keep on forever working hard, playing hard and doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. But it is a lie.

Aging is not a disease. It is not something you can outsmart, overcome or out do. And you will need help, of some kind, in your later years because you cannot function as you did when you were younger.

My Mother always warned me that I should save enough money because I will get tired. Of course I did not believe her. And anyone in good health younger than 60 reading this will not believe her either. Nowadays you could never save enough money anyways.

Take a good look at those older folks who are celebrities, or successful. Are they doing it on their own? NO. They have staff that does a lot of things for them, that is how they can stay active doing what they love. When they get sick, they get instant attention and the best care. Do most seniors have that luxury?

My Mother got to live in her own place well into her nineties, but this was not because her body was healthy like a 40 year old. It was because she had an awful lot of help. This is reality. Ask anyone who is currently taking care of an aging relative.

It is not right or fair to ask or expect an older person to continue doing what they did when younger. We must ensure that our aging population is taken care of. It is not their fault that they get old, sick and die. It is mother nature.

So stop waving the flag that 70 is the new 65. It is total bullshit.

Track Your Package

7:31 a.m. Package out for delivery.

YAY!

Look at all you can get done waiting for your package to arrive!

Let’s see:

Washed all the dishes. Made the bed. Read an entire book. Did some of my art work. Cleaned the bathroom. Did my laundry. Played with the cat. Wrote some on my stories. Read some magazines. Stared out the window. Talked to the cat. Read some more. Dusted some ornaments. Straightened my desk. Ate some junk. Played with cat again. Cat talked to me. Vacuumed a bit. Ate some more junk. Did some exercises. Checked on my package, no further developments. Made supper. Ate supper. Hmm. Past 5 p.m. Checked package updates.

Delivered!

Sorry? What?!

I’ve been home all day! No one came.

Spent next day trying to get parcel.

But I got a lot done.

Got parcel next day.

3 Books

This is a very dangerous time, and most people are oblivious.

There are 3 books you should read, and soon.

1984 by George Orwell. Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

Oh yeah, depressing books for Christmas reading, but our society is on the brink of becoming a mix of these futuristic scenarios. Democracy is on the verge of becoming a dictatorship.

Think not?

I think you’d better start paying attention to what is going on in the world, and at home. I mean, really paying attention – that is THINKING. Thinking means analyzing what you are hearing, reading and seeing. Too many are just parroting back what others tell them. Tsk. Tsk. You shall pay big for this. You will lose your freedom of movement, of speech, of being.

Check out people like John Oliver, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, and their commentaries on the state of our leaders and world on youtube. You will laugh, you will cry, you might actually pay attention and think and see the truth and not be caught up in the flow of magic thinking.

You know how I feel about magic thinking, aka, New Age hocus pocus. An excellent book on how we got into this lame brain wishful thinking, and how it has resulted in Trump, is a book by Gary Lachman, Dark Star Rising.

You can never read enough. The people who need to read, do not, the people who need to be informed are not. People are walking around with what I call non-opinions. They don’t know why they think or feel like they do. They just say what someone else has told them. They accept everything at face value. This is the stuff of immature, juvenile minds, who cannot think and analyze for themselves. Time to grow up. Our leaders are imbeciles, dangerous juvenile delinquents. If we don’t smarten up ourselves, it will not matter any more. We will live under a dictatorship where we are told what to think and do – or die. These are harsh words at Christmas, but I am fed up with seeing people blinded by charismatic leaders who talk absolute gibberish bullshit. Leaders whose only goal is world dominance and to line their own pockets and establish an empire. This is dictatorship and it is ugly, savage and corrupt. It will destroy everything and everyone you know and love.

Dictators will sacrifice your life for themselves. They kill any perceived traitor, even their own families. Haven’t you already heard and seen veiled threats, the speeches that incite violence against fellow human beings, against creatures, against the environment, and ultimately, the world? Their finger is always on the trigger and they make others do their dirty work. How many people take the fall for their crimes? They rewrite history. They invent non existing things and scenarios. They proclaim their own brilliance. All for their own glory! They don’t give a rats ass about anyone else. They just want to look fabulous! They slander and smear everyone else, but even the tiniest criticism of them results in a huge revengeful backlash. Everyone is silenced. There is no truth or justice. They commit horrendous crimes and no one can question it. Dictators are not accountable to anyone or anything. They are above any and all laws.

Think this couldn’t happen here? It is happening!

How does this way compare to what you normally think of as being a democracy? What does freedom mean to you? To society?

Tune into the wise men of youtube and hear what they have to say.

I strongly suggest you watch John Oliver explain to you how dictators fool you with words; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZAPwfrtAFY You will learn about the 3 tricks; delegitimizing the media, whataboutism and trolling.

I hope watching this will encourage you to check out more. Yes, they say it like it is – with profanity at times, but we need these wake up calls.

Like Bill Maher on illiteracy https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&p=bill+maher+youtube#id=124&vid=6206a6f3adde32bd26ce5d7abb8d68fb&action=view

This is my plea to you, this Christmas and New Years. Make a New Years resolution to think. Make your own opinions. Check out the opinions and thoughts of others. Read. Watch. Research. Make informed decisions. All of our lives depend on it.

The Spirit of Christmas

Some people really lack all understanding of what Christmas means, and the spirit can’t even get close to them. Instead they gripe and complain about things I would consider awesome, like fancy meals, decorations, having friends and family visit, and most of all, presents.

I am shocked when I hear parents denying their children presents for their own selfish adult reasons. Reasons which translated to a child mean they are being punished for something. Children live in a world of reward and punishment on which their very survival depends. They always have to try to figure out which is what in order to be cared for. They don’t understand your adult shit .

Christmas is supposed to be a celebration, giving and receiving and eating way too much. It is to be a time of laughter and fun. What the fuck happened to that? Oh yeah, stupid adults.

Stupid adults on their own stupid agendas at a time of year when all agendas need to be cancelled, voided, nulled and thrown out! Oh we gave to the poor, or worse, make their children give up presents of their own for total strangers. Stop it!

I am not saying do not give to the poor – I am saying do both, stupid!

Show your children how they can do both too without punishing them. They will see your generosity, your Christmas spirit (hopefully all year long) and when they are adults themselves and understand that kind of shit, will follow suit. Show them by your actions, and don’t make them sacrifice their joy, their presents, what kind of shits are you? Miserable sots that you are, shame, double shame on you for being such miserable sots.

I am not saying you need to indulge every childish whim and desire, but for goodness sake, get them things that will make them squeal with delight. Things you have to wrap up and put under the tree – if you even can bring yourself to have a tree. Make Christmas happen people – for your children at least. Maybe even you might find some delight in it.

Also, the worst Christmas thing I ever witnessed was when my Mother and I went out for a fancy Christmas dinner at a restaurant, and next to us was a man and his young daughter. She was maybe 4 or 5 and was holding her toy bunny and listening to this asshole father explain to her that Mom and Dad were no longer going to be together and she would have to now visit them separately. Kept asking her if she understood this. Of course not you moron. She’s a little girl with her toy rabbit! And it’s fucking Christmas dick! Shame on you! Adults are miserable, selfish sots!

I am so glad I had the parents I did, and had Christmas that was full of presents, joy, and laughter without conditions and things I would never have understood in a million years. Thank God that although things were not perfect, my parents made the effort to make our lives worth living and never ever made us try to live in an adult world before our time. They let us be kids.

Amen to that!

Magazine Subscriptions

There is something about a printed page, holding a book or magazine in your hands and turning the pages, that is magical. That is why I am surrounded by books and magazines most of the time.

I have several magazine subscriptions and I usually read them cover to cover.

There is just one thing that is slightly annoying, that I have been bothered by for decades but never mentioned.

It is this:

Every 4 or so months I get this, a notice of urgency, that my subscription is about to expire and I need to renew, which is clearly not the case (I circled the expiry date). I signed up at the time for a 2 year subscription, and I keep track of this for a good reason. They are hoping I forget and send them more money, which I have to admit, I did in the past, and I might add, the new renewal date did not reflect the additional money I sent. It was not moved forward.

The expiry date is there, but if you are rushed, or enthused by how much you will save today, (in the above case it was the unbelievable amount of $251.75 so I’d only have to pay $17.95), you’d gleefully send them another cheque. It is easy to lose track of your subscriptions.

I know, a very petty thing to be annoyed with, but it is my Blog!

On a happier note, I just published another photobook to usher in winter. Very unusual for me to celebrate cold weather. Enjoy!

Christmas Spirit

It started happening a couple of weeks ago, that feeling of joy in the air. People are becoming more friendly, grateful and cheerful. Ah, the Christmas spirit. No one is immune to it.

A heaviness is lifted, scowls are turned to smiles, impatience with enduring, and forgiveness instead of fault finding.

After a year of our leaders nit picking, outrageous crimes and blatant lies, and worst of all name calling, smear campaigns and all sorts of juvenile, reprehensible, disgusting, vile behaviour, the Christmas spirit is a most welcome reprieve.

I was most impressed with Tom Hanks starting a trend of tweeting good things said, I hope that continues. We need to have fresh air. The antics of our leaders have made everything stale and most foul. I am heartily tired of it.

It seems as if avarice has infiltrated every sector of society. I am so disheartened to learn just how far these tentacles have reached, into everything and anything that might make someone rich, famous and powerful. I am sickened that many support this, especially women. Ugh.

I have nothing against being rich, famous and powerful – only the means by which this is attained, and the aftermath of it, how it is used. From what I’ve seen, I’m not greatly encouraged. Not more cars, telephones and f’in rocketship space junk puhleese!

However, Christmas is coming and with it, the joy I see in peoples faces. The weariness of day to day living is lifting and we are remembering what life should be all about.

As an aside, I am also very happy to see a resurgence of the craft industry, people making things, taking up knitting and stuff. Seeing people make things that have value and meaning and are fun! I was excited to see that toy trains are experiencing a renewal.

As I am rambling in this blog (and it is my blog to ramble in) what I would absolutely love to have is my own workshop, replete with lathes, drill press, scroll saw and lots of tools so I can make stuff like I used to in my Dad’s workshop.

I guess at Christmas I revert back to my childhood when life was a whole lot more creative and fun than it is now.

But, I have the Christmas spirit and I am happy.

Bring on the fruit cake, yule logs, shortbread cookies and lots of smiles!

Just Because Again

At this time of year I usually recommend that you buy yourself something, a just because gift.

I got my just because gifts this week, to cover my birthday and Christmas as they come so close together.

Now before you run off and call me selfish, it is first of all, okay to be a bit selfish once in a while – hence the ‘just because’ gift. We spend so much time taking care of everyone else and forget that we are worthy of rewarding ourselves. The gift should be something you really want – not something you need necessarily, but something very interesting, unusual and you. It does not have to be practical. It can be silly. It can be anything that your heart truly longs for.

This gift you do not justify to anyone else; no need to explain why you got it, or how much money it cost, or offer all kinds of excuses for getting it or anything else to make yourself look small. Get the gift. Don’t tell anyone. It is yours.

It took me a long while to realize how important this is. It does not mean I don’t give to others, that somehow someone else I love is deprived. Good grief. But if I continually deprive myself of good things, things that make my heart sing, if only for a short while, I am giving myself a very clear message that I am not worthy, that I am less than others. Bah, humbug.

Too many years of this already.

Your gift can be anything that means something to you. An experience. A course. A seminar. A retreat. Vacation. Jewellery. Clothing. Dust collector. Book. Something you’ve wanted for ages ‘just because’ you like it, you want it.

Of course, don’t be silly and rush out and buy a Corvette unless you can afford it! But if a Corvette is what you want – then give yourself the gift of permission to have it, and then make plans to save, work, enter contests, whatever (nothing illegal here please) to get it.

I am a very frugal person, so it used to be very hard to buy anything new for myself without trying to find it already used or on sale, or to substitute a lesser value/quality item and tell myself it is good enough. Especially something I don’t need. Don’t you do that! The first time I bought something new, of high quality, at full price, I felt faint! It felt sneaky, but exhilarating. But, boy, did that change my outlook, and my confidence. So now I do the just because every year. It shows me I love myself. That I can do things. I can be someone. Someone worthy.

Let me tell you, owning nice things does a lot for your soul. Even getting one small item that is your hearts desire is worth it. Even if it is something you just look at once in a while. No it is not crazy.

If it doesn’t do the same for you, make you feel awesome, you are doing it wrong. Treat yourself like you would treat someone you are madly in love with and long to please and make happy, just to see them light up with joy and jump up and down and cry a little. Make yourself the giver and the recipient and see what happens.

If you want to get married but are alone, propose to yourself, get yourself a ring, marry yourself! (It has already been done by the way). If you love roses but think buying a dozen is an extravagant waste – buy yourself a dozen long stem beauties and enclose a sexy, make your heart sing love card. And put those lovelies in a big, bold, beautiful vase. Send yourself a Christmas card! You have to love and honour yourself – put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you help others. When you cherish yourself, watch what happens to your life.

You are worth it.