I recently read an interesting article about the perceptions employed married persons have of their fellow single workers, and it brought back a lot of memories.
I find what happened in the past amusing, but at the time was frustrating. Those were the days when women were on a whole different level in the working world.
Today I enjoy working for and with single women and these issues are gone from my life. Well, mostly.
It sometimes happened that I cohabited (in those days we said cohabited to make it sound formal. To our friends, it was ‘living together’ until common law came into existence). But since this was not a recognized form of attachment I would still be treated as a single person, but with a moral problem.
When it was time for raises, I was informed I didn’t need one because I was single and didn’t need as much money as married people. If anything, I needed more because I only had one income, they had two!
Of course, as a single woman I must be sitting at home doing nothing, and therefore my free time belonged to the company. I was once called a coward because I refused to continue giving up my Saturdays to do work at home that my married co-workers couldn’t possibly do, because, well, they are married!
I was frequently called in during my vacations to do menial work or take care of a crisis that married workers could not deal with, well, because they are married! I still have a bit of trouble keeping my vacations to myself even in my current situation but for different reasons.
If anything needed doing in my life, there was only me to do it. I seldom had the luxury of assistance from a partner to run errands, fix things, or take care of anything. Yet to try and have time off for an appointment was difficult because it was believed as a single person I somehow didn’t need to do anything that married people do. I never had major issues, well, because, I am single! Anything greater than the flu was not believed.
I was told I have the world by the balls, like I didn’t have any responsibilities or concerns, and I could do virtually anything. In reality, the world often had me. I had debts. I had an ailing Mother to care for. I often felt insecure and alone and had no safety net. I didn’t have any back up financially or otherwise, so to venture out on my own was very risky. I longed to go back to school, and I did, and it was scary as a ‘mature single student’, watching my hard earned savings dwindling and the debt rising. I wanted to start my own business and have at last, but I never had someone to catch me if I fell. My debts are my own.
My married co-workers and bosses had houses, cars and exotic vacations. These are luxuries I seldom got to enjoy as a low income earner. Whenever I would go on vacation to another place it was frowned upon – a single woman going where??? And they would wonder where I got the money from. Why would a single woman want a house? Or need a car? Ah, those were the days. . .